51yr old Newly Diagnosed - How To Inform Parents ‍♂️

Your caring for the feelings of your parents says something about you that is admirable.  That you feel that you have to "break the news" is something I can relate to in respect of telling my family although my parents both passed away long before I was diagnosed there was a sense of the news being "bad".  For me there was a bit of confusion shown about what this information was intended to mean when I told people and I'm on this website to in part try to work that out.  I felt that I needed to give the impression when telling that it was a positive thing (even though I'm still not sure myself!)  this seemed to help others.  These days am a bit more open about saying how it has its down side too - whilst being careful not to be appearing to going for sympathy rather than understanding that I'm most keen on :-)

I just told the more-agreeable one, then I let them tell the less-agreeable one, and it all seemed to work-out..

im 33 and i wont tell my parents. i wont tell them anything though and am usually more private, i more open up to randoms on internet i guess as to me its just a data stream. anyone thats a physical person id be more private.

although if your parents had troubles and was often wondering if you was playing up, telling them may give them a reason as to why you was the way you was and that you wasnt playing up with them and it wasnt purposeful. thats the only reason to tell them i suppose.

also autism is generally in the family so they too might have autistic traits anyway.... i can spot them in my father.

Thank you for your advice.  It all helps.

I was diagnosed at 40. Since then I've toyed with the idea of telling my parents who are in their 70s. I realised it would help me but could triggering for them so have decided not to so far.

I think it could cause them to feel they have done something wrong on life as they aren't comfortable or familiar with discussing mental health as younger generations are.

I mostly got diagnosed to offer help to my 2 year old boy as he grows up, so telling my parents isn't really that useful to anyone I feel.

Still not sure though tbh

Thank you for your advice Iain.  This helps.

Thank you for your advice. It helps.

My Mum was 78 in Jan 2022 when I told her of my autism diagnosis aged 57. I didn't give her much info beforehand, just that I was preparing for an apt and she didn't ask what it was about. I printed out info from the NAS website for her to read, and more recently she watched the programmes which Chris Packham presented. I felt the need to be understood by at least 1 family member, and my Mum has been very supportive. She even said she thinks she may be autistic too. You will have to decide whether or not to tell your parents, as if you tell them and they don't accept your diagnosis you may wish you hadn't told them at all. On the other hand they may be very supportive and understanding like my Mum is. It's not an easy decision. Good luck.

Coolercoats said:

Problem I have is what to tell my parents

There is no need to tell them - it doesn't impact them and it is only likely to cause distress so keep it to yourself would be my recommendation.

It may be important to you but is it worth the anguish it may cause them at this time in their life? Your call.

Not sure why that symbol has popped up in subject.  Was supposed to be a shoulder shrug