Does anyone else hate the Linux analogy?

Yes being also an apple fan and deep in the apple ecosystem, I agree. 

The problem is no one is really "happy" - or I prefer "content" until they are immersed in the thing they love, without fear of judgement. If there's one thing I've learned in the nearly 50 years I've been alive, it's that no one has it any better if we had an internal microscope. How can we know this is true? How many books and TV shows and how much social media has to constantly remind everyone what happiness is. The very thing humans tend to 'flaunt' is usually the thing they are afraid they don't have, so projecting an image of how they want others to see them, like branding, is slightly... neurotic behaviour.

Neurotypcial is another term for "Neurotic", which is far more correct according to Psychoanalysis. Concerned with everyone else's judgement, trying to read and interpret it. Afraid of being marginalised and ejected from the tribe.

At the end of the day any analogy can be demoralised. Any group, any person can gain or lose status, sexiness, and so on. We live in a Consume and Dispose society. I'd like to personally, not buy into this model. 

Internal worth, seeing others as valuable and my own self, is something typically of a spiritual quest, I'm afraid. But I'm not sure how else to exit these paradigms and learn to see through all the drama. Tomorrow the underdog will rule. And then something else will usurp that. If you can get off the merry go round, create you - your unique "becoming", and do things you enjoy, eventually these analogies will look like about as nonsensical as a fish on bicycle :) 

At least you're not MS Dos or Basic 

The women I'm thinking of mostly got around difficult social issues by being in your face. They would approach you. They would start a conversation. They would be the ones to say what everyone was thinking. And they'd turn this into a virtue. They're not clueless, they're direct. They're not tackless, they're bawdy. etc. Like a friend of mine who literally dragged one of the shyest guys I know onto a busy night club dance floor by saying (and I'm paraphrasing), 'don't worry about your dancing or who's watching just focus on my boobs and follow me.' The same girl who sang the 3 dirty goblins song (one of the rudest songs I know) walking down the road with my new friend I'd just introduced to her until the new friend clamped her hands over her ears and claimed she was being 'ear raped.' Everyone else's there thought it was hilarious. I'm sure if it was a dude singing about goblins going to hell and seducing the devils wife while a girl protested he wouldn't have got away with it. But if you are a busty short welsh girl it just makes you more popular. At least if you are hanging out with the nerds.

This doesnt relatr to the OP however i wanted to give my opinion on your post. ....If one is fortunate enough to have an acceptable face this does go some way but lacking the social skills is definitely where the difficulty lies. At the end of the day, both need to match. I spent a long time when younger wondering why people could do things I couldn't and generally missing cues or not understanding. It messes with yourself esteem. There are things you can learn but I'd say some of that isn't "authentic" for autistic women. There are people out there (men and women) who don't want the superficial,  regardless of their looks. I am aware that women can probably get away with more than men. Social slips can be seen as quirkiness and forgiven a bit more easily.

We all have different needs and preferences! Social differences are definitely a barrier though.

It's true. Autism is ... as they say, a spectrum. I got the obsessive brain that works like a sponge for interesting facts and is quite good at maths and science. Take that to an extreme and you have a fascination with everything weird and uncanny (which I also have but is less celebrated). It's a real joy to meet other autistic people who got that too. We have much more in common than I do with autistic people in general.

I really do think there is some merit to the idea of 'mapping out' the spectrum.

It seems to be a fairly common view among people who have these stereotypical useful traits that they don't really see that their experience isn't everyone. Some people can memorise pi to 1,000 places or have this laser focus and whatever else that leads them into a distinguished career in science, but lots of us don't have these "superpowers". 

The same as some people get more or less of the awful ways it can manifest, some people get the positive sides in small magnitudes if at all

There isn't anything that others find impressive. I'm moderately more intelligent than average and perhaps (though I feel awkward saying it) moderately more ethical than average, but I'm not convinced either of those things are due to autism. I'm reasonably good at proofreading, at least when I'm in the right environment (not noisy, stressful, peopling etc.) but probably no more so than many allistics (who don't have the noise and peopling issues) and certainly not enough to qualify as a superpower.

Peter said:

I guess supper powers aren't always that great if you can't control them.

Bingo! That was the point I was trying to make - thanks Peter!

I guess supper powers aren't always that great if you can't control them. Imagine going on a date with superman if you knew he can't turn off his x ray vision and your clothes are basically see through for him. Imagine being the flash if the world is eternally moving in super slow motion and it takes you days to watch a move and hours to have a quick conversation.

Autistic supper powers are things you can do that others find impressive because most people can't or at least struggle with it. Not necessarily things that you think are doing you a lot of good. For instance memorising pi to 10000 places is impressive but not useful. Being supper good at maths is useful but that skill might not get used unless you can get a good job which you might struggle to get because of other autism related issues.

I don't hate the Linux analogy, but I do hate the "superpower" thing. I don't have superpowers. I do have some disabilities (I always point to alexithymia as something that causes significant problems in my life, no positives and is clearly not created by society like some other autistic issues). I am slowly coming around to the idea that it's OK that I'm autistic and maybe a few minor positives, but I struggle to find any major positives (SUPERpowers) in my life that are unambiguously caused by autism and not environmental factors or my own personal growth.

Self worth is something you own.  Don't worry about others.  you be you and be proud of it if you are not hurting others.

Look. All the decent answers had already been made. I had little else left but a small joke.

To explore your chosen Linux/android V iOS/I-phone metaphor, you miss the fact that BOTH have their fans, both have their advantages and drawbacks, and I, for one, avoid apple products like the plague. I consider the attraction superficial and expensive, and when I dipped my toe into I-players crucial functionality I rely on was missing.. 

It follows that I find superficial and artificially attractive women, are NOT to my taste, (except perhaps to observe from a safe distance) and I select accordingly from the small number of women who's innate honesty and high functioning gives them something to really respect and which I find deeply attractive. 

Of course someone who calls themselves "Dragster" and provides no "Bio" information may be one of the people who claims the political right of feminity rather than enjoys it intrinsically as a biological genetic female. In such a case, I am unqualified to answer "attractiveness" helpfully and can safely be ignored. 

HOWEVER: One issue that we both share is our dislike of being NeuroDiverse!!

But we are. And we have to either live with it, or face the consequences of choosing not to.

When (as most of us thankfully do), we choose to live with it, the next question is how do we get to ENJOY the process for a change?

YOU HAVE to get over that one, if you want to get into a sexual relationship that you can enjoy long term, because if you can't like yourself and excercise "give and take" with your own peccadillos, how do you expect to be able to cope with living with a mysterious stranger? A.K.A. If you don't find yourself lovable, how can you expect others to? (Discovering that you have lovable qualities is different to suffering from narcissism, where you know that you don't need to look!)

Failing that. Start collecting and incorporating real virtues in you life like grace, stoicism, compassion and Generosity of spirit.

It's not an easy task, I've been at it for decades and am still quite limited in my command of these and other real "silent virtues" but I have some and it does seemed to have made me considerably more "attractive" since I started..  

I'm not especially bothered about the analogies- if I don't like them, I don't use them. But I do find it incredibly annoying when people assume autistic women are never feminine/feminine women can't be autistic. I'm not *conventionally* feminine but I do wear a very femme goth style and it's very odd to me that something as variable as appearance is associated with the way your brain is 'supposed' to work. I'm never surprised when 'girly' women are diagnosed very late.

I don't know if you've read Fern Brady's book Strong Female Character: you may find that some of her experiences align with your own.

Well assuming you’re female bodied One thing you’ve got going for you is that femininity and popularity as perceived by men has a hell of a lot more to do with your appearance and your body than your social skills.

if you want to affirm your femininity you can go a long way just with the way you dress, make up, hairstyling, The way you walk, things that can be studied learnt and taught. If you look like a supermodel no one will give a toss that you talk like a nerd.

No, 'coz I'm a bloke!

Yeah, I guess it helps that almost my entire extended family uses Android. And my old android phone is no longer functional as a daily driver, but all my iPhones are fine, except for my 2 iPhone 5's; they have "brain damage". 

Does that mean you need to be replaced every year or two? Just asking LoL.

At least you are not a Tesla who would turn into a fireball in a crash.

Hey, if the analogy works for you then own it

Thank you. 

I strongly prefer the ND = iPhone and NT = Android since iPhones tend to be more rigid/inflexible, and like to stick to one way of doing things, which relates to a lot of people with ASD, who tend to like to stick with one way of doing something because diverging from their way of doing things creates anxiety. That's why I insist ND's are iPhones.

Plus iPhones are prettier.