Published on 12, July, 2020
Preface: I would do ANYTHING to be NT. ANYTHING. I hate having ASD and if there was a cure, I would take it without a second thought, because I would feel more feminine as an NT.
I especially do not like the analogy of NTs being Windows and NDs being Linux. I hate Linux. I don't want to be the nerd, the uncool one. I want to be Mac, a sleek, pretty, sexy Mac.
I hate the NDs are Androids and NTs are iPhones even more, and insist that it's the reverse, that NDs are iPhones and NTs are Androids, because iPhones are prettier, and I want to be the pretty, popular, feminine one. Does anyone else feel this way?
The Dragster said:Does anyone else feel this way?
You seem quite passionate about the analogies, but they are imperfect because the two are not similar enough.
We have physically the same bodies but our minds work differently. So considering the sleekness of Apple and Microsoft / Samsung etc devices is not relevant.
It is more like a black labrador having a litter of puppies, most of which are black but there is one golden labrador.
Think of us more as we have experiencing super powers in our brains but these come at a price where we don't really fit into society the same as others.
You can deny your superpowers or embrace them - but in embracing them you can feel as powerful, confident and sexy as you want to - this is all in the mind.
As for being pretty - give me a beautiful mind any day of the week. The appearance is irrelevant in the long run as age will take physical beauty from you and if you have no inner beauty left, what remains will be pretty uninteresting to yourself or anyone else.
I don't hate the Linux analogy, but I do hate the "superpower" thing. I don't have superpowers. I do have some disabilities (I always point to alexithymia as something that causes significant problems in my life, no positives and is clearly not created by society like some other autistic issues). I am slowly coming around to the idea that it's OK that I'm autistic and maybe a few minor positives, but I struggle to find any major positives (SUPERpowers) in my life that are unambiguously caused by autism and not environmental factors or my own personal growth.
Yeah, I'm just very vain, style conscious, and care a lot about my appearance and social status, hence my hatred for the implication that the NDs are the "inferior" models, combined with my denial of having ASD.