Published on 12, July, 2020
Preface: I would do ANYTHING to be NT. ANYTHING. I hate having ASD and if there was a cure, I would take it without a second thought, because I would feel more feminine as an NT.
I especially do not like the analogy of NTs being Windows and NDs being Linux. I hate Linux. I don't want to be the nerd, the uncool one. I want to be Mac, a sleek, pretty, sexy Mac.
I hate the NDs are Androids and NTs are iPhones even more, and insist that it's the reverse, that NDs are iPhones and NTs are Androids, because iPhones are prettier, and I want to be the pretty, popular, feminine one. Does anyone else feel this way?
Well assuming you’re female bodied One thing you’ve got going for you is that femininity and popularity as perceived by men has a hell of a lot more to do with your appearance and your body than your social skills.
if you want to affirm your femininity you can go a long way just with the way you dress, make up, hairstyling, The way you walk, things that can be studied learnt and taught. If you look like a supermodel no one will give a toss that you talk like a nerd.
This doesnt relatr to the OP however i wanted to give my opinion on your post. ....If one is fortunate enough to have an acceptable face this does go some way but lacking the social skills is definitely where the difficulty lies. At the end of the day, both need to match. I spent a long time when younger wondering why people could do things I couldn't and generally missing cues or not understanding. It messes with yourself esteem. There are things you can learn but I'd say some of that isn't "authentic" for autistic women. There are people out there (men and women) who don't want the superficial, regardless of their looks. I am aware that women can probably get away with more than men. Social slips can be seen as quirkiness and forgiven a bit more easily.
We all have different needs and preferences! Social differences are definitely a barrier though.
out_of_step said:.If one is fortunate enough to have an acceptable face this does go some way but lacking the social skills is definitely where the difficulty lies. At the end of the day, both need to match.
Yep. You have said some things very similar to my earlier post.
The women I'm thinking of mostly got around difficult social issues by being in your face. They would approach you. They would start a conversation. They would be the ones to say what everyone was thinking. And they'd turn this into a virtue. They're not clueless, they're direct. They're not tackless, they're bawdy. etc. Like a friend of mine who literally dragged one of the shyest guys I know onto a busy night club dance floor by saying (and I'm paraphrasing), 'don't worry about your dancing or who's watching just focus on my boobs and follow me.' The same girl who sang the 3 dirty goblins song (one of the rudest songs I know) walking down the road with my new friend I'd just introduced to her until the new friend clamped her hands over her ears and claimed she was being 'ear raped.' Everyone else's there thought it was hilarious. I'm sure if it was a dude singing about goblins going to hell and seducing the devils wife while a girl protested he wouldn't have got away with it. But if you are a busty short welsh girl it just makes you more popular. At least if you are hanging out with the nerds.