If you are thinking of leaving the forum ...

I hear you, it’s not all hate and the hate that persists will not outlast the good-intention of us, I do count you as a smart-good Number. It’s just a storm and it will pass..:)

That I agree with, Pegg is most-certainly gem, and the artwork is amazing too. You’re no slouch yourself Number..:)

Hey, sorry about myself, that rut has just set in hard, I felt it coming in soft a few months ago and I had a feeling I wouldn’t shake it.  

It’s not just the forum that has my absence, the entirety of my cognition is a void too, I don’t seem to be doing or thinking anything. There just comes a point where you reach the limit of your interest and life just starts to flow over you anyways. I’m swim upwards as I may and I’ll bring my abstract analogies too..:’D

I can appreciate that climates and weathers can become harsh at times and the same can be said for socials, but as I always say, it will pass and you just need to follow your interests and distract yourself.  
I hope you don’t leave, you are an asset to this place and you will be missed if you leave, take your time and do what seems right as you consider it opportune.

I’m just sorry that I seem to be unable to weather my discouragement more overtly, I just don’t have words or attention, I’ll always be notified of mention though, I just can’t seem to push my way through all the threads..:’D

This made me really sad.

I'm truly devastated that you're leaving. I know we didn't interact often, I mostly lurk but I saw the best of you in your posts.

The forum is a darker place without you as you were one of its brightest stars.

Take care Number. You will be missed.

We as Autists NEED people to be more tolerant of boorish behaviour! We aren't exactly known for our social charm...

Bullying, it seems after reading many comments here, is very much in the eye of the beholder. 

There is a Christian concept which helps me a great deal in these situations, "Hate the sin, not the sinner".

There is a member here who sees my attempts to build bridges with people who's ideals I find reprehensible as somehow dishonest or perhaps the correct word is disingenuous.

To be honest I can kinda see his point, I have often wondered to myself why I don't just write certain sorts of people off and leave them alone, which in many cases does end up being the only sensible option.

I've noticed that people tend to bully those who they find boorish. Now Boorishness, like beauty, is somewhat in the eye of the beholder and somewhat defined by the society in which you participate, which makes it a LOT harder to eliminate that people make out even if you don't have Autism.

Bullying, looks a lot easier to eliminate, but as is very clear form many posts a lot of people here don't know when they've stopped making a fair representation of their point of view and slipped into bullying behaviour.

There's not a lot of what psychologists call "insight" showing in some conversations, that's for sure. Bee's summed it up nicely in a P.M. once. "If you can't say anything nice, then try to say nothing at all". For those who read our posts it must be obvious that both he and I occasionally fail in that effort and each time it seems to ourselves we were "fully justified" at the time. Speaking for myself, I find sometimes after reviewing my conduct that I was only partially justified, if at all. And occasionally (it's thankfully rare, but it happens), actually mistaken..

I hope that helps explain some of the behaviours we have been seeing, and maybe even suggests an alternative way of looking at even those members with whom you may have profound disagreements with..

Amerantin (former member) said:

There is no moderation on this forum.

That’s the problem.

Amerantin (former member) said:

I have just received an email from the community manager calling me abusive and threatening further action.

so do you agree now that there is moderation on this forum?

the first quote claims theres no moderation, the last quote says you have been moderated and disproves the first quote?

there absolutely is moderation on this forum, i have been warned a few times myself and been placed in moderation approval ques. the mods do do their job but because of the nature of this sites purpose and the people that use it they cant just go banning and excluding people, because part of autism is being socially excluded from everywhere for failing to understand social sensitivities and rules. so they cant just be ban happy and exclude people as it goes against their purpose as a autistic space.

plus bans and exclusions i find dont work, if that ended and mods were more like the mods here then people would have more chance to discuss and perhaps better themselves and change maybe, at least a tiny bit anyway. i think the mods do the best they can but this isnt something you can be perfect on... they are much better than most mods that just exclude and ban people over very little. again in a autistic space they need to be aware that we will break social rules and perhaps not understand why it was wrong or how we upset people. and exclusion isnt the way as exclusion is something to tackle instead and fix.

I too have had an email from the community manager - several in fact.
Rather than announce the content of those messages, I have respected that the communication is of a private nature between myself and the community manager / mods.

For the record, I can categorically say that I do not consider this as a victory, I haven't won anything.

Amerantin (former member) said:

I have just received an email from the community manager calling me abusive and threatening further action.

That's awful and totally unfair.

You have nothing to apologise for at all.

You are and were a credit to this forum and your loss will be greatly felt.

You were actually helping people on this site!

Crow Lady is leaving too.

Ugh

ps.  I did previously send you a 'friend' request - just so you know.

This site is faulty so you may or may not have received it.

Take very good care of yourself.

The site has let itself down by allowing you +  others to be driven away like this.

I have just received an email from the community manager calling me abusive and threatening further action.

So GPK has won and I have let myself down.

i am sorry I have upset people, that was the exact opposite of my intention but I always get these things wrong.

I think it’s best I withdraw from this site and leave you all in peace.

Sorry.

A

Thanks Autonomistic. I’ve let life get on top of me for the last week and and I’m really quite upset. It was just bad timing having to deal with with this at the same time. You’re right that I should take my own advice.

I may return in a day or two.

Number said:

I'm retiring.  This current cycle of hate is why I HATE these "facilities" provided for us, by the interweb thingy - clearly we don't have the maturity to play with those facilities wisely.

You are absolutely right with what you have said and unfortunately I think circumstances like this will push many away. Take care numbers! I was waiting to see what the mods would do about it all myself because from these threads that got boosted I can see this isn't the first time and I'm beginning to see it won't be last, meanwhile, the mods do... what appears to be nothing. Which a shame because there are some genuinely lovely people on here. 

Amerantin (former member) said:

Over the last day or two I have also begun to think they maybe this isn’t a place I want to be.

I'd echo Debbie's comments. You may not have been here that long but you have made a big impression.

You clearly care enough to stick your head above the parapet when something or someone threatens this valuable support network.

You reassured the community about the unwarranted legal threats and I'm sure those comments meant a lot to those affected. Particularly as it happened at the weekend when there wasn't any mod presence apparent. 

Amerantin (former member) said:

anyone with any sense will just ignore him.

Wise words... it's hard but try not to allow yourself to be goaded. 

I second that. 

Amerantin (former member) said:

I hope I didn’t contribute to this decision

I think we all did as I know N quite well and his thinking.

We all have responsibility for what we say and do and I take that too - I'm sure I've been part of N's departure.

However, I believe + others here do too, that we must stand up to bullies.

You are gold in my eyes A.

Peace and goodwill to all people.

(Where is that olive branch?).

Number said:

I'm retiring.

Ugh.

You just buggered up my day N.

Please come back some time

You are a precious soul.

I hope I didn’t contribute to this decision  

I'm retiring.  This current cycle of hate is why I HATE these "facilities" provided for us, by the interweb thingy - clearly we don't have the maturity to play with those facilities wisely.

People who are little slugs in real life (undoubtedly) seem to think they are invincible superheros on the interweb.

I'll continue my efforts to improve the lives of those whom I meet, one face-to-face encounter at a time.  

It is so, so sad.

Laters.

There is no moderation on this forum.

That’s the problem.

Calm heads please.  MODS pop up anywhere in a thread.  Rosie's comment is not DIRECTED at you, it has simply appeared under your post.  Don't take it personally and don't attack an UNPAID VOLUNTEER who is trying their best to herd angry cats, kimono dragons, zebras, spiders and woodlice.

GPK26 said:

I have taken a back seat on the community today

I find it hard to understand you or your agenda but what I am witnessing is you going from thread to thread and goading people to say things that are uncharacteristic of them and then sitting back and watching the results.

It's very unpleasant behaviour.

Because of you one person I know to be very vulnerable has completely retreated and at least 4 are thinking of leaving here.

I think you need to grow a sense of responsibility for your own actions.