Published on 12, July, 2020
because of the arguments, why not hibernate?
I have done this before.
You can change your name to 'hibernating'.
It's good psychologically because it stops me from posting and indicates to others that you are having a break.
Also, you can choose to still PM (which I do) which isolates you less.
Roy has chosen to do this yesterday.
I've been told by one person that someone they knew was thinking of joining but didn't because of the disagreements, others post far less, others join and then stay a short while.
I was sad to read Billy87 s post today.
To the new people here: it's not always like this and only certain subjects are incendiary so if you can manage to avoid reading them, that would help.
I am guilty of having joined into arguments because I also feel passionately about certain subjects and I expect I will occasionally still make my point.
However, I think restraint here is the key and personal insults should never be acceptable.
I dearly hope that this thread doesn't go the same way as my 'arguments' thread and become one almightly row ...
You are a troll who has delighted in poisoning this forum. You are a disgrace.
You’re telling me to be nice about someone who went out of his way to offend people then threatened a load of us with legal action!!
Do your damn job and moderate behaviour like that instead of having a go at me!
Reminder of Rule 5:
Be nice to one another and enjoy chatting with others. We encourage conversation and respectful debate; please be aware that individuals may give opinions which are not shared by other members. Insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated.
He crossed a line when he started threatening people with legal action. Nobody should have to tolerate a bully. Being autistic isn’t an excuse.
Amerantin (former member) said:If he behaved like this in my physical presence it would only happen once.
SHOCKING!I have taken a back seat on the community today, yet you continue to rant about me.And to even suggest physical violence (yes, that is exactly what you have done here) speaks volumes.
I have no idea what is going on here, but I just wanted to say thank you for helping me. It meant a lot. I wish you the best, no matter what you decide.
Thank you Debbie, that’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me
oh and what would you do IRL? Demand to see the maniger? Demand he be banned for all eternaty for the sin of saying something you didn't like? I don't mean to jump to conclusions so I hope I'm wrong but that's exactly the sort of thing I take issue with IRL. Exactly the sort of chalenges too many autistic people have to deal with.
Amerantin (former member) said:Over the last day or two I have also begun to think they maybe this isn’t a place I want to be
And that is what really worries me - someone as compassionate, intelligent and balanced as you are leaving because of this conflict.
I hope you don't, but would understand if you + others do.
If he remains on the forum then anyone with any sense will just ignore him. Don’t feed the troll as they say.
Over the last day or two I have also begun to think they maybe this isn’t a place I want to be. But that would just give that obnoxious idiot more satisfaction.
If he behaved like this in my physical presence it would only happen once. But in an anonymous forum he gets away with it again and again.
ok so he over reacted but his over reaction was a reaction to other peoples over reactions in my opinion. Everyone got too hot headed. I'm not convinced as so many others seem to me that this was some sort of elaborate troll. But if it was a troll the way to deal with it would have been to calmly discuss the issue he brought up instead of jumping to acusations. (which quickly started going in all directions) Trolls get no satisfaction from reasoned debate in responce to their trolling.
Like repeatedly threatening people with legal action?
The guy is an obnoxious bully who entertained himself by poisoning this place.
We could quite easily have discussed his difficulty with adapting to changing norms if he hadn’t gone out of his way to be a complete ***.
why should that matter? Why should knowing some people might disagree with you and think your opinions controvercial be a bar to you expressing your views? Just because some one might be offended doesn't mean something should be a big deal to discuss. Like I said we can't be limited to the lowest comen denominator of only the most benal topics that offer no grounds for offence.
The individual who started all this said:
”I openly discuss or rant about these topics along with some others that may be considered taboo with closed friends and family who have all become somewhat numb to my outrageousness / inappropriateness.”
He knew exactly what he was doing.
and if you are they one guy with a difrent point of view and you say so thinking you are just stating your opinion and its no big deal, only to then get your head bitten off and ostrosised for being politically incorect is that not also bullying?
Is that supposed to excuse boorish and bullying behaviour?
Most autistic people endured enough of that in school. We don’t need it in a forum that is designed for us to support each other.
ok but look at it from another point of view. If autistic people can't cope with their disagreements here where we know the other party is autistic and maybe isn't best able to pick the most sensative choice of words or pick the best moment to raise something contentious, if we can't handel that here, how are we ever going to be able to expect NTs to handel it out there where maybe people don't understand these aspects of autsim so well?
Peter, some people love a good debate and to really thrash it out. There's nothing wrong with that if it is what both sides of the argument want. However, I'm not so sure the NAS Community forums is the right place for thrashing things out.
As has been proven, when there are members with extremely opposing views, it doesn't take long for things to get heated and unpleasant. When people hold strong views, the chances of either side seeing eye-to-eye are slim because both sides of the argument will think their views are right.
When there are angry debates here, the only thing they seem to achieve is to drag down the overall mood of the Community. If you have sensitive members who are easily triggered, I do not believe such angry debates actually help to make them feel less sensitive.
I can only speak for myself, but when the top post in the forums is a discussion that has gotten heated, it makes me less inclined to want to sign in and spend time in the forums. Since Friday, it feels like what had possibly started as a misunderstanding, has since resulted in triggering heated discussions in other posts. Yesterday evening, I breathed a sigh of relief because I thought that things were finally starting to come down, only to discover today that they haven't.
Amerantin (former member) said:I’m here in the hope of learning more about my condition, meeting people facing similar challenges and hopefully providing some mutual support. I thought that’s why we’re all here.
I’m here in the hope of learning more about my condition, meeting people facing similar challenges and hopefully providing some mutual support.
I thought that’s why we’re all here.
To add context some of us, the issues we're dealing with as autistic people, is being vilified for words or views considered politically incorect etc. I would say that that is part of autism. Autism both A) can contribute to making us less socially conforming and B) make us less sensative in the way we express ourselves. So when we have long angry debates on here about whether person Xs views or words were aceptable it is very much at the heart of the chalenges some autistic people face.
For me it’s a question of intention.
Now I might hold an opinion on some random topic that would upset someone here. If I do make such a post i hope I’d have the maturity to say “sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, let’s move on to another topic”.
Because what could I hope to gain by upsetting a stranger on a forum? a stranger who could potentially help me with my own problems.
And that’s the crux of it for me. Why do some people seek to pointlessly upset other people in a mutual support forum.
I can’t think of a good or honest reason.