Telling people about my autism

I told my brother, and partner.

Nobody else needs to know iny opinion.

Instead, I tell people the things I struggle with in the relevant moment. I.e: I struggle with noise sensitivity so I'm going to wear these ear plugs, or, sorry I don't like busy places so am not comfortable being there...etc.

That way I convey my struggles without any stigma

Hello Rainbowgirl,

I've not told anyone about my autism, I've thought about it many times but  have always hesitated .....and then changed my mind.

My diagnosis means a great deal to me..... but what will it mean to others? ? ?

There are some good books on autism (written by fellow autists rather than by 'experts') and I've  gained much from them, sometimes reading them twice.

But will I ever disclose?   Well, for now I'm playing it by ear.....  cautiously.

Ben

Spot on Iain.

I told my family and a couple of friends, but I'm not sure there was much benefit from the latter, although there wasn't a negative result either. I don't think everyone is equipped to really deal with knowing. I don't know your situation, but if you're at school/university/work, you might want to think carefully about whether to tell so you can request adjustments. And people shouldn't be touching you without your permission regardless of whether you're autistic! You can tell them that! I feel the UK has got "touchier" since I was a child and I don't like it.

Same here - there were a few who knew little about autism so I said "nothing has changed - it just means I know why I behave a bit odd sometimes". I would give them links to read more if they asked but otherwised assumed that they didn't care enough to ask - and that is fine.

There were one or two "office bullies" who mocked me for it until I warned then I would report them for discriminating against a disabled person for their disability - they backed off after that. It is a bit different for friends, but hopefully the better ones will tell them to behave.

The close ones want to know more typically but I kept it high level and emphasised that nothing had really changed so just continue as we were. If they asked again then I would give links to read up on it.

I found a few people I thought i could trust, they were great.... but it doesn't seem to change anything! :-)

If, like me, you prefer to read a book on the subject, I would recommend:

Coming Out Asperger - Diagnosis, Disclosure And Self-confidence - Dinah Murray (2005)
ISBN 1843102404

On the whole, most of your friends probably already see your "oddness" as part of your charm so it won't be a big surprise for them.

If you have any sensitiviteis you think they would benefit from knowing about (e.g. you don't like loud noses, strong scents, being hugged etc) then by all means this is the time to let them know.

It doesn't change who you are, but if you prefer to stim in certain ways then just tell them this is something you do and please don't think it is odd.

Hello Rainbowgirl,

Your question gets asks very often in this place, as I am sure you can imagine.

May I suggest that you use the search button on this forum using the key words "disclose" and after you have looked at the thousands of comments and opinions you'll find on those older threads, you can try the key words like "telling someone" .... and then look at another few hundred responses there too.

I suspect that other people will comment here in direct response to you now.......but I found it useful to trawl through the archive on this forum when I was looking to answer these sorts of questions for myself.

So......if you want my opinion on the question you have raised.....I have decided (through bitter experience and "trialling" a few different approaches) to generally NOT use the word autism when explaining about myself.  This is not because I am ashamed or embarrassed by what I am, but because people seem to (generally) freak-out a bit when they hear the word as a self-descriptor.  I really can't be bothered with the aggravation that telling people "specifically" why I am an unusual chap.

If I tell people that I am "odd" or "weird" or "strange" with certain things or certain situations or certain behaviours, they seem not be really care and we can move on quickly with whatever needs to get done or be discussed.

This is naturally just my opinion and chosen pathway now....I know that many other people have different feelings on this topic.

I wish you well.

Number.

I usually only say if realised I done or say something that I feel needs more explaining