Meet Ups For Adults

I have found a group for adults who are  'Socially awkward', not too far away. It might be useful, but I think social awkwardness in autistics and allistics probably has rather different causes and effects.

Mine have been experiences of trying to find groups that match my interests (yoga, tai chi, spiritualism) and building relationships that way.  However, these aren't specifically for autistic people and this is still a gap in my life. 

I simply don't know how to find local groups that aren't dominated by parents of autistic people who also have learning disabilities.  That's not to say that these groups aren't very much needed, but many online webinars or classes encourage us to find our community and, good though it is to have all of these online resources, I still need something locally and haven't really got any contact at all with my neurokin on a face-to-face basis.   

I hope you do.

Great. I tend to go to the ones that have an activity I want to do, such as a walk, rather than just sitting around in a pub which is boring.

Yes Ree - I find that just being near and around people is sufficient to keep me sane and socialised.

Catlover said:

a group of people that are interested in what I am interested in, instead of them also having to be autistic

I think this is the key to success.....for me.

There is an abundance of groups in my region for children with special needs, but no meet ups for adults with one exception which is a shop front wellbeing stop off point where anyone can offload at a one to one basis with a counsellor.

Of course if you’re talking about meat ups that are not centred on autistic adults but just adults in general that’s quite another matter. 
There used to be some really good stuff going on in my local community with regards to the nerdy scene. There was monthly video game nights which was a lot of fun and I really loved. there was a really large goth  club night that ran every month that was really full of energy and a great experience.

are used to go to a lot of student societies which were great fun particularly the Anime society and the video game society to a lesser extent of the rock ‘n’ roll society and the assassin society, I strongly recommend nerdy student societies if you can get access to them.

notice how I am speaking in the past tense. so much of this stuff has closed down or become inaccessible in recent times. The problem with societies and groups aimed  specifically at autistic people is they tend to aim at the lowest common denominator, those autistic people who are the least capable. Really it’s much better in my opinion for those of us who are more capable for them to simply do things that any young adults might enjoy but do them in a way that’s better adapted to autistic people. But of course most people would no longer classify me as a young adult nevertheless that’s still more or less where my interests lie.

Not great if I’m honest. The only organisation running any meetings for autistic people in my area, at least for acoustic adults, well it isn’t specifically for autistic people it’s actually for people with learning difficulties and autistic people. And yes I had the same degree of scepticism but I’m sure you have as to whether or not that will be appropriate for an autistic person who was high functioning. However I was assured by the organisers but it was appropriate and that I was very welcome.

most of the meetings are at inappropriate times for someone who works full time which I used to do until quite recently. Quite a lot of their meetings are centred around every day activities that I would normally do alone like going shopping or going to a café. There’s nothing in novel for me about getting out of the house and going into town to do some every day things but apparently of course for some people that is a novelty which is probably why so much of their activity centres on that sort of thing.

I can’t see I really made any particularly good friends are the people there seem nice and lovely but they’re not really on my wavelength in terms of my interests or in terms of their ability to really discuss things I like a good intellectual discussion and a lot of them struggle to hold a conversation about anything more basic than what meal it is we about to have.

they ran  a karaoke event once or twice which actually did suit me very well but aside from that I can’t  honestly say I really felt that I’ve got an a lot out of it.

aside from this there is absolutely nothing appropriate in my local area, there did used to be a specialist Asperger’s group which was run by autistic people for autistic people however that charity has apparently disappeared and is not even reporting to the charity commission anymore which is very naughty.

I didn't know there were meet-ups for ASD adults. Over the last few decades or so, the only socialising I have been comfortable with were parties with co-workers who got drunk very quickly, or invites when I am out of the country and nobody wanted to practise their English so all I need do is smile. I try to avoid anything else where it would be polite for me to participate in conversation. But I greet people in the doggy park, and I know they do ask about me if they don't see me for a few days. That is reassuring. But I do think I should try to try harder to engage with people.

Sometimes just sitting in the presence of others is enough for me to get my dose of socialising. Of course not enough always tho

The Belfast Social Meetups were basically drinking sessions, usually at Wetherspoon's.

There is one near me for carers - so very useful for autistic adults!

I think quizzes would be nice. I wouldn’t mind interacting in that way. I would prefer no group, to one where autistic people just sit in a room together. That’s not being social. That’s just sitting lol…. Maybe I should keep the hope alive?…..

There’s one here, and another which is more general, mostly for parents of ND children, with the odd ND adult. I never attend this one. 

Oh my goodness. It’s super overwhelming. 

Thank you for sharing your experience.

I used to attend Meetups, in Belfast and Dublin, before the ZANU Normal.

I couldn't hack the nights out, but got more contact during the Zoom Quizzes we did in 2020 and 2021.

They do not seem to exist in my neck of the woods, and I have searched quite extensively.

Catlover said:

I never seem to connect.

I struggle with this ordinarily as well. I struck gold with my fiance but everyone else I can't connect with, like I'm a ghost and people don't see or even hear me.

I like this community, you're all lovely people but so far I still feel alien like an outsider trying to fit in and be like everyone else.