Neurodivergent Love Languages

Penguin Pebbling. "Saw this and thought of you" is a common thing for me.

You are very welcome, I am glad you found it interesting.

Thank you for the hyper empathy link. I never knew this was a thing. I'm watching it now and it's super interesting

That's a beautiful story

Hi Ausomely Autistic I mainly info dumping about the 50s/60s/70s so fashion, facts about the era, music I'm listening to, songs I'm strumming, sewing patterns I've bought and planning to make etc.

The reason it makes me feel a little rejected and annoyed is because I spend the time listening to others interests/ activities and asking questions whether that's family or work colleagues or friends etc but they can't give me 2 mins of there time to show a little interest or ask a question like 'oh that crochet granny square is cool, what are you making' or 'what other bands do you like' etc. 

Tell me where the cameras are!  I know they're in here because that article describes me intimately.   Oh my god, I am so autistic.

But seriously, thanks for sharing.  I know it will be helpful in my relationships.

Edit: OMG, OMG, OMG!!!  All the things are starting to make sense now!  At my autism assessment, they asked me how I keep my house, if it's in order, and if it's clean.  I said that it depends.  If I live with someone, my house is immaculate.  If I live alone, everything falls apart.  I specifically said, "I can't live for myself.  I live for others."  I was describing body-doubling!!  I am sooooo sooo autistic and ADHD. 

My husband is acts of service, but he does not find my infodumping on him to be enjoyable at all! He has tried infodumping on me since I told him though, which is sweet.

Thanks! My initial reaction is relief that she agreed that I am indeed autistic and ADHD but not actually PDA profile. I've had a while to process as I self identified in 2020 as autistic and last year as probably ADHD as well, but I know formal confirmation can cause other feelings too. It hasn't so far, it's mostly been relieved and happy. With a side of wishing it could have been noticed before my PhD burnout as then I might have not had to give up on the PhD or at least might have found out how to recover better from said burnout or at the very least not being quite so baffled as to what was happening! I still feel like I have not quite recovered from it over a decade later.

Yes it was tiring, but mostly enjoyable. I was glad it was able to be done over video chat so I could be in bed! That meant I could last longer before fading. I very much enjoyed my outing in nature, it was very restorative, and I needed to move after so long. Thanks for the video, I'll have a listen later.

Thanks. I am glad you enjoyed this post what do you like to info dump about? I really like deep pressure too, it is very grounding. Yes it is interesting how these languages overlap as they are all human qualities.

I think I like to give info-dumping and (from particular people) to receive deep pressure. Interesting how this can overlap with Acts of Service and Physical Touch in the five more 'generic' love languages. Lovely post, thank you. 

Rubix said:

What a great post and I'm so glad I'm not alone haha. I didn't realise this was an autistic trait!

Thanks! You are definitely not alone, these love languages are a huge part of autistic culture.

Rubix said:

Definitely info dumping - I can talk for ages about things that I find our but I also feel a little hurt when they either change the subject probably because they are bored or don't share the same enthusiasm.

What do you info dump about? I definitely understand why you feel hurt when the subject is changed, those people obviously don’t appreciate your passion. Do you feel rejected when this happens?

Rubix said:

feeling their sadness like it's my own. Strange but true haha.

Not strange at all, I feel the same way. Have you heard of hyper empathy? It’s very common in our autistic community.

Here is a video that explains hyper empathy;

https://www.youtube.com/live/tt-fzj_ogVM?feature=share

Congratulations on your formal identification! I really like your username! What are your initial thoughts about your autistic identity? Take time to process it, we are here for you.

This video might be helpful:

’Common reactions to autistic discovery’

https://www.youtube.com/live/oo34mppLMqE?feature=share

AuTriker said:

nearly five hours

That’s ages! Must have been tiring! 

That’s very kind of your partner. Did you enjoy your outing in nature?

Thanks Glitter!

Yes, it's often the little things that can make a big difference.

What a great post and I'm so glad I'm not alone haha. I didn't realise this was an autistic trait!

Definitely info dumping - I can talk for ages about things that I find our but I also feel a little hurt when they either change the subject probably because they are bored or don't share the same enthusiasm.

Parallel play - it's rare that I'm doing the same thing as some else in the room even when watching TV.

Swapping energy - I get easily affected by other energy either feeling drained myself, buzzing off their excitement, getting wound up because someone is talking too fast or feeling their sadness like it's my own. Strange but true haha.

Penguin pebbling - all the time

Congratulations on the diagnosis!  

I love your little story. I think it's lovely how people take care of each other like that.

I think some of them are things I do, and others are things I recognise others do as signs of love. For example, my wife is very good at making phone calls and driving me places, but I'm not!  But definite sharing things, information, and time are the main ones.  And just being there for someone, even when I don't know what to say.

I liked that article too. I want to add one my husband did today (he is not autistic but is ND as he has schizo-affective):

18. I set aside my need for routine because you needed me.

He wanted to do the washing up, but went with me on a gentle cycle ride round the lake before the light went, because I had been in my pre-assessment for nearly five hours and needed to go outside in nature and move. (Result of pre-assessment, I am indeed autistic and ADHD! Hence the celebratory slight name change.)

Cool! Which one is your favourite?

I relate to all of these! XD

Exactly! Sometimes memes and gifs convey our feelings much more easily than words.