Neurodivergent Love Languages

All of these!!  And so excellently explained here that I'm sharing this with my partner.

Also a wonderful, true story of pebble sharing:

I'd had a rotten morning and was feeling very low when I got to work. A six year old in the class where I work came up to me, and at first I thought I'm not sure if I have the spoons to deal with her- she's the one who can't sit still at all and struggles to listen.  She's got undiagnosed ND written all through her like a stick of rock.  But instead of coming to me with a problem, she held up a tiny piece of something shiny (that had probably fallen off someone's bag) and said "this is for you!" 

I instantly knew that this was her way of saying I love you for all the times I've shown patoence and understandong and it reminded me of why I do what I do.

Also I came across this list years ago, on a similar theme, but yours explains it much better. neuroclastic.com/.../ 

Edit: I thanked her with a genuine smile, showed it to my colleague with great pride, and put it on tip of my drawers where I saw it shining for a couple weeks and every time it made me feel happy and appreciated. 

Glitter said:

All of these!!  And so excellently explained here that I'm sharing this with my partner.

So cool! Thanks for the compliment!

Glitter said:

I'd had a rotten morning and was feeling very low when I got to work. A six year old in the class where I work came up to me, and at first I thought I'm not sure if I have the spoons to deal with her- she's the one who can't sit still at all and struggles to listen.  She's got undiagnosed ND written all through her like a stick of rock.  But instead of coming to me with a problem, she held up a tiny piece of something shiny (that had probably fallen off someone's bag) and said "this is for you!" 

I instantly knew that this was her way of saying I love you for all the times I've shown patoence and understandong and it reminded me of why I do what I do.

Lovely story! I bet the student appreciate keeping and displaying the object as a reminder of an act of kindness. I think children penguin pebble a lot, for example by giving adults drawings or creations they have made.

 I have read the Neuroclastic article you posted about neurodivergent ways to say I love you, I particularly relate to the first 5. What about you?

Thanks for responding, it’s really interesting to read about the different autistic ways of showing love/care.

I liked that article too. I want to add one my husband did today (he is not autistic but is ND as he has schizo-affective):

18. I set aside my need for routine because you needed me.

He wanted to do the washing up, but went with me on a gentle cycle ride round the lake before the light went, because I had been in my pre-assessment for nearly five hours and needed to go outside in nature and move. (Result of pre-assessment, I am indeed autistic and ADHD! Hence the celebratory slight name change.)

I liked that article too. I want to add one my husband did today (he is not autistic but is ND as he has schizo-affective):

18. I set aside my need for routine because you needed me.

He wanted to do the washing up, but went with me on a gentle cycle ride round the lake before the light went, because I had been in my pre-assessment for nearly five hours and needed to go outside in nature and move. (Result of pre-assessment, I am indeed autistic and ADHD! Hence the celebratory slight name change.)

Thanks! My initial reaction is relief that she agreed that I am indeed autistic and ADHD but not actually PDA profile. I've had a while to process as I self identified in 2020 as autistic and last year as probably ADHD as well, but I know formal confirmation can cause other feelings too. It hasn't so far, it's mostly been relieved and happy. With a side of wishing it could have been noticed before my PhD burnout as then I might have not had to give up on the PhD or at least might have found out how to recover better from said burnout or at the very least not being quite so baffled as to what was happening! I still feel like I have not quite recovered from it over a decade later.

Yes it was tiring, but mostly enjoyable. I was glad it was able to be done over video chat so I could be in bed! That meant I could last longer before fading. I very much enjoyed my outing in nature, it was very restorative, and I needed to move after so long. Thanks for the video, I'll have a listen later.

Congratulations on your formal identification! I really like your username! What are your initial thoughts about your autistic identity? Take time to process it, we are here for you.

This video might be helpful:

’Common reactions to autistic discovery’

https://www.youtube.com/live/oo34mppLMqE?feature=share

AuTriker said:

nearly five hours

That’s ages! Must have been tiring! 

That’s very kind of your partner. Did you enjoy your outing in nature?

Thanks Glitter!

Yes, it's often the little things that can make a big difference.

Congratulations on the diagnosis!  

I love your little story. I think it's lovely how people take care of each other like that.