Published on 12, July, 2020
Mentally, physically and it just gets worse as life goes on. I’ve had a crap day, cried a lot, I’m exhausted. More and more I seem to shout ‘it’s always something!’. Because it is, just when you think you’ve got everything out of the way something new pops up, something breaks, forgot to pay for something, appt coming up you don’t want to go to, something wrong with health, just bl&£dy something all of the time. Just when you think it’s actually quiet, some idiot will start being loud in their garden, some neighbours will make noise for days on end, someone will start road works, something will be wrong with the car. Exhaustion. I want, need a simpler life. But it’s never going to happen. Even those very small fleeting moments of finding something funny or saying something funny seem so false. I’m so tired and everything seems so pointless.
I think I must have posted my comment around the same time as this one and therefore didn't see your comment about having no spare money. I wasn't meaning to be insensitive
Zoe, Don't be hard on yourself. Everyone understands - frankly, you conducted your comment with graceful care. Brava !
Sorry also. Got carried away being myself. Never intended for anyone to feel bad.
It's fine, honestly. In any case, you were as polite as you possibly could have been. Please think nothing of it.
No I’m sorry. I immediately regretted it after posting it and now feel horrible. I’m not great at saying what I want to say at the best of times. I don’t want to make either of you feel bad so just ignore me. I’m being miserable because I’m sick of life but that’s neither of your fault.
If you wanted remote, I found a few websites which I can't remember what they were called where people advertise for volunteers like on farms or to help with eco projects etc. You get bed and board for helping out. Yes it'd still be "with people" but I feel the sorts of people who do these projects are a bit more understanding of needs and difference...and you'd still get time to yourself.
I think a lot of the time people on here like to offer solutions but it sounds like you feel a bit stuck. I know the feeling.
I’m not very good at travelling and I have no spare money whatsoever (also part of my burnout in that I can’t promote my self employed business to gain more work which is making me increasingly worried about surviving). I’m pretty sure I’ve been burnt out for the last year, probably what prompted me to get diagnosed last year as I knew it was just depression yet again.
I’ve always wanted to go wild camping but this isn’t I’d be able to do by myself. I get lost far too easily.
Have you tried noise cancelling earbuds? Bose and Sony are supposed to be the best but they're expensive (£150 upwards). Other brands are cheaper but not as effective at active noise cancellation. I wish I hadn't hesitated so long about getting them, as they really do make a difference at blocking out some (not all unfortunately) external noises.
Maybe a few days away from home would help restore some calm in your mind. I find that helps me, my version of sitting in a hut in a field! There are some really good value caravan holidays available for when the parks reopen next month (£49 for 4 nights).
I appreciate how difficult it is to come back and find, not only the situation at home has not improved, some other problem has arisen too. Life does feel like a constant battle and when you're trying to battle alone it's tough.
You probably don’t live where I live. Land is worth a fortune here. And that’s ignoring the fact that I can’t even ask a shop assistant where they’ve moved an item for the 100th time, let alone as a farmer if I can use his land that 20 other developers want to buy off of him while he installs yet another row of barbed wire after getting increasingly angry that the lockdown walkers trampled around the outside of his field.
There are many remote places in the uk or places you can stay where you dont get bothered. There's also the option to wild camp. Are you entering a burnout phase? I know when my need to escape starts coming, that's usually a warning sign.
I've found most farmers to be quite obliging and willing to share an unused field for a while if they are asked first.
Sorry, Zoe. My fault entirely.
I don’t know where there are any huts in the middle of a field where I’d be left alone, that wasn’t owned by an angry farmer.
No. I just think you may both have been better to either pm each other or make a new thread. The point of me writing this is in no way meant to make either one of you feel bad, but the fact that it’s been posted inside my thread is making me feel bad.
When we escape, we can make billions* from doing 'Twits in a Wishing Well' interviews with tv, radio, newspapers etc.
*20p each.
And that is so me
Can you not go and sit in a hut in the middle of a field?
I'm just glad we've kept the thread on topic. Sort of. Well, alright, we haven't. But we tried. Okay, so we didn't.
I get top bunk!!!!
I hope there's room in the well for hospital bunkbeds.