Lack of daily routine

AuTriker said:

I am so jealous of some people's spoons! Not so much the ones who actually use and enjoy them, but normal people who do nothing, they could give me their spoons if they don't want them! Haha.

It would be great if there was a spoons exchange service! It could work brilliantly for our community!

Unfortunately this doesn’t exist but you can obviously gain spoons from enjoyable activities.

AuTriker said:

I have studied Biblical Greek and still do a class to improve that. I have begun modern Greek and Biblical Hebrew. I'm considering improving my Norwegian as well. Thanks for asking!

Cool, can you read the Greek alphabet? A rather diverse range of languages you have listed.

Do you use the app Duolingo? I have used it before, I thought it was quite good.

It might be productive if I can stop when fully rested! Not good at restarting. I am so jealous of some people's spoons! Not so much the ones who actually use and enjoy them, but normal people who do nothing, they could give me their spoons if they don't want them! Haha.

I have studied Biblical Greek and still do a class to improve that. I have begun modern Greek and Biblical Hebrew. I'm considering improving my Norwegian as well. Thanks for asking!

Yes it is so important. 

AuTriker said:

I feel so bad when I take whole days of doing nothing, or several to recover from something

Doing nothing is productive, it recharges spoons. Humans do not have endless energy, particularly us autistic humans! It is important to take time to recover, it helps us set boundaries, reflect on everything including how many spoons we have spent.

What language are you learning?

Unknown said:

It is nice but I'd rather see everything I can while I'm there!

Absorb as much culture as possible like a human sponge!

Unknown said:

I've now realised this is putting pressure on myself so last few holidays have been....we will do what we can and be happy with that.

This idea sounds much more relaxing. What tourist attractions have you visited?

Although I don't usually enjoy holidays, (they are unnecessarily stressful),I really like being by the sea on holiday. It is very calming. There is something about being around nature that provides a different perspective on the world, that it really positive. 

Yes, getting the balance right is hard! And after a day or two of rest that feels like a habit so it is hard to break out of it! So easy to overdo things and then rest and not be able to restart. And some things are just energy sapping so it's not even a matter of overdoing it but just doing at all that has to be recovered from.

That's no good Desmond that you can't even get to bed because of the stress. It isn't sustainable to be boom and bust. 

The problem is when you sometimes have more days than you need to rest. I have other health problems so energy levels are a bit up and down more than usual at the moment. I think it's about finding balance. Up until a few months ago it was more a case of not having enough time to rest. I need some productivity to enjoy the rest.

Yes I don't really like beach holidays or sitting by the pool. It is nice but I'd rather see everything I can while I'm there! I've now realised this is putting pressure on myself so last few holidays have been....we will do what we can and be happy with that.

What about yourself?

Unknown said:

Altho when you have lots of things to see and do while you are there I can get a bit stressed how to manage all these things.

Holidays shouldn't be stressful. Do you like active holidays then where you visit different tourist attractions?

Unknown said:

I like the unpredictability of it. It's also like I have permission to be out of routine because I am on holiday.

I understand, holidays give you freedom to choose what you do/when you do it and low demand days. I like the permission too because there is no pressure/urgency to do anything, however this can be quite annoying and lead to procrastination when you have the six week summer holidays (in the education system). 

Unknown said:

First world problems!!

Definitely, we have too much free time to know what to do with!

For sure.

I slept twelve hours, last night, after an exhausting afternoon and evening out. My Artist Friend keeps saying that I'm too much in a rush, but I was away all day. And I need to rest.

More often, than not, I don't even have the energy to make my bed. I'm that strung up; with stress.

I think my demand avoidance is somewhat outside the range of "typical"... The difference between PDA and autistic demand avoidance is that PDAers even want to avoid demands they place on themselves  including things they really want to do. It sounds horrible so I was rather worried to think I might have it and relieved to work out it was most likely the autistic kind. Which of course not all autistic people have because we are all different! But it is one of the things which can be a trait.

Yes I think sometimes we can pathologise behaviour which is within the range of "typical" human behaviour. Yes it's funny how I often need an external force to propel me, but other external forces create demand! 

Deepcake said:

I know that routines are often helpful for autistic people but I have a strong urge to shun them.

Snap! This was one reason it took me a while to be sure I was autistic! I think for me the desire to shun routine is a combo of ADHD and demand avoidance. Also there is a huge massive ginormous difference between routines imposed by others (having to get up at 7am to get to school) and routines one has self-chosen (I now like waking up at 7am! Although at this time of year it slips closer to 8 as it is so dark.)

Ausomely Autistic said:

Days of resting, doing nothing, or autistic self care are just as important to feel happy and replenish lost spoons

I need to keep reminding myself of this! I feel so bad when I take whole days of doing nothing, or several to recover from something. I always feel better on a day when I have managed to do something I think is productive. That's one reason I took up language learning - I can always get a bit of a productive feeling just from revising some vocab or the like. But of course then I feel also bad if I haven't even managed that...

I don't think it's a mood thing for me. In fact if I have something bad I am more likely to feel I can't relax and feel driven to get up. But the other day we had planned to go to one of my favourite places to cycle and husband was wondering why I wasn't getting up quicker! In fact he nagged me a few times even though there was no rush and we still got there with plenty of time to enjoy it.

I do wonder if I might have got up sooner without his nagging... I have wondered about PDA but I don't think it is pathological, just good old autistic demand avoidance! Although it can just as easily have been that I wanted to finish what I was doing.

I thought the idea was ridiculous at first - no way am I hyperactive! But I do fit the inattentive type much better, albeit offset by the autism.

And I totally relate to the none if I'm not in the mood but then blitz the place to within an inch of its life in a couple of days! Except now my energy levels are not such that I can do that any more, but I still cannot do little and often, so things don't get done.

Which actually contradicts my first point in that I'm more mobilised when I have external forces that I need to do something. But this doesn't apply to getting up out of bed. Because that's a demand. 

There's part of me that thinks just cos other people have routine why am I putting pressure on myself to have one. Just cos other people do. But I feel as humans we do need an element of routine in our day. It's just in this day and age we are governed by alarm clocks and work etc instead of our natural circadian rhythms and instincts.

Ausomely Autistic said:

This means that when I am out of routine there is too much that I could potentially do which means I find it difficult to focus my attention

This is what happens when I'm off work at home.

Actually I love the novelty of being on holiday.  I like the unpredictability of it. It's also like I have permission to be out of routine because I am on holiday. So that's acceptable but not at home. Altho when you have lots of things to see and do while you are there I can get a bit stressed how to manage all these things. First world problems!!

Yes I think it's related to inertia but I could be wrong. I fostered some sort of morning routine over summer but now bsck in work it's all gone out the window. Looking at it objectively it's actually not a big deal but I feel there's lots of motivation required in me now to get it back up and running. It is more difficult when you have illnesses in the mixture as well.

I think I put too much pressure on myself sometimes even when it's just me at home. But as an adult I feel its very indulgent to spend ones life flim flamming.