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Lack of daily routine

Deleted User

Does anyone have difficulty with having a lack of routine? I'm ok when I'm in work or have commitments but otherwise I seem to flim flam around. I notice other people are able to productively relax (eg I'm going to sit and watch a film then I'm going to do a work out) whereas I feel I act more on a whim. I'm getting some help to establish a better routine outside of working days because of a non autism related issue.  They've left me just to get on with it and plan myself which is fine because I know I need help with this but I feel there's an element of demand to it now. It's hard for me to establish a routine and very easy for it to unravel. Can anyone relate to it? 

Parents

  • Do you maybe have ADHD as well as autism? I think I have both. People who do describe the struggle with their autistic side wanting routine and benefiting from it but their ADHD side getting bored with it and refusing to follow it!

    I have some routines which do not have a set time but a time of day, like my morning routing doesn't involve a specific waking up time and some steps can take a varying amount of time, but the order is generally followed. I can struggle to move on to the next stage sometimes, especially from the being in bed reading to the getting out of bed to eat part, even if I feel hungry. Autistic inertia!

    I can totally relate to flim flamming around! Unless the day has a thing already decided, a lesson or appointment, or the food shop or the weather is good so we shall cycle, I tend to drift or end up just watching telly or being on the computer. It is really hard to make myself do actual things like the car tax or whatever.

    I do have a list but am very bad at looking at it! I sometimes forget to look at it and sometimes just don't want to.

    I totally resist my husband trying to impose any further routine. Like doing the laundry on Mondays or whatever. Partly because my energy levels fluctuate and cycling is weather dependent - no way am I going to not cycle to do laundry instead! But even if he just wants a decision like shall we watch this thing on telly at half seven. I'm like maybe, but it might be earlier or later. I am so glad we have catchup now and are no longer subject to the tyranny of the TV schedule! I'm not sure if this is ADHD or demand avoidance.

    I do wonder whether I should try to impose some kind of further routine of my own choosing, but I am dubious it would work. 

  • in reply to AuTriker

    I've been wondering if there are adhd tendencies but I've always discounted it. But for instance today, there's been quite a big difference already in what I'd planned to do and what has happened due to something pleasant but unforseen. So I'm looking out the window thinking I could do some gardening but that's not on my list.  I'm getting distracted. I'm sticking to my list today to prove to myself I can do it. Fortunately at the moment I have a lot of free time but sometimes it's even a problem prioritising what leisure activities to do because there's too much choice.

    I printed off from yo samdy sam a schedule to help plan housework but it was on the fridge for 2 months and hadn't been updated or looked at. My way of doing housework isn't little or often, it's when I'm in the mood and everything gets done at once. I'm happy with that and I've accepted that's how I work and not trying myself to do it in a way which is unnatural to me.

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  • in reply to AuTriker

    I've been wondering if there are adhd tendencies but I've always discounted it. But for instance today, there's been quite a big difference already in what I'd planned to do and what has happened due to something pleasant but unforseen. So I'm looking out the window thinking I could do some gardening but that's not on my list.  I'm getting distracted. I'm sticking to my list today to prove to myself I can do it. Fortunately at the moment I have a lot of free time but sometimes it's even a problem prioritising what leisure activities to do because there's too much choice.

    I printed off from yo samdy sam a schedule to help plan housework but it was on the fridge for 2 months and hadn't been updated or looked at. My way of doing housework isn't little or often, it's when I'm in the mood and everything gets done at once. I'm happy with that and I've accepted that's how I work and not trying myself to do it in a way which is unnatural to me.

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    I thought the idea was ridiculous at first - no way am I hyperactive! But I do fit the inattentive type much better, albeit offset by the autism.

    And I totally relate to the none if I'm not in the mood but then blitz the place to within an inch of its life in a couple of days! Except now my energy levels are not such that I can do that any more, but I still cannot do little and often, so things don't get done.