Lack of daily routine

I know that routines are often helpful for autistic people but I have a strong urge to shun them.

It took me years to get out of having to conform to a routine but now I am bored and lonely because everyone else is so tied up in their routine that there is little scope for spontaneity in life. 

From a point of view of both Marxist revolution, and unexpected romantic adventure, this is clearly discouraging.

AuTriker said:

I have some routines which do not have a set time but a time of day, like my morning routing doesn't involve a specific waking up time and some steps can take a varying amount of time, but the order is generally followed. I can struggle to move on to the next stage sometimes, especially from the being in bed reading to the getting out of bed to eat part, even if I feel hungry. Autistic inertia!

This! And I don't want to impose micro managing times on my own day. Ive noticed I struggle to get out of bed if it's for work or doing something i dont want to do but when I'm off work I bound out of bed no problems. I understand more now about demands. It was the same as a child. Couldn't get up in the week but up 2 hours earlier at weekends no problem!

If it is something relatively unimportant that I need to do I'm exactly the same, always a last minute dash. If it is of great importance - catching a plane for example - I'm ready to go out of the door, fully prepared, about 2 hours earlier than is necessary.

I've been wondering if there are adhd tendencies but I've always discounted it. But for instance today, there's been quite a big difference already in what I'd planned to do and what has happened due to something pleasant but unforseen. So I'm looking out the window thinking I could do some gardening but that's not on my list.  I'm getting distracted. I'm sticking to my list today to prove to myself I can do it. Fortunately at the moment I have a lot of free time but sometimes it's even a problem prioritising what leisure activities to do because there's too much choice.

I printed off from yo samdy sam a schedule to help plan housework but it was on the fridge for 2 months and hadn't been updated or looked at. My way of doing housework isn't little or often, it's when I'm in the mood and everything gets done at once. I'm happy with that and I've accepted that's how I work and not trying myself to do it in a way which is unnatural to me.

Yes definitely, I can be much happier and productive if I have a routine. Otherwise, I unintentionally end up doing nothing or very little because I have don’t have specified periods in my day to focus or motivate me. It’s because of autistic need for predictability, but also inertia and monotropism.

 If I am on holiday (which I really don’t like) it’s like I have too much time to be able to organise myself to achieve anything. I think it’s because I am monotropic, I need to be interested or focused on one or a few things to achieve something. This means that when I am out of routine there is too much that I could potentially do which means I find it difficult to focus my attention. People say that holidays should be relaxing, but usually for me they are the complete opposite. A holiday gives me too much time to ruminate or become anxious because I find it difficult to focus my attention.

Unknown said:

Does anyone have difficulty with having a lack of routine? I'm ok when I'm in work or have commitments but otherwise I seem to flim flam around.

Yes that’s  exactly what I do. I like your use of ‘flim flam’, great phrase. Be kind to yourself though, you don’t always need to be productive. Days of resting, doing nothing, or autistic self care are just as important to feel happy and replenish lost spoons (energy).

Even when I have something I need to do I'm often last minute and leaving later than I need to. But that's another story! I like the idea of floating around like a jellyfish. 

Do you maybe have ADHD as well as autism? I think I have both. People who do describe the struggle with their autistic side wanting routine and benefiting from it but their ADHD side getting bored with it and refusing to follow it!

I have some routines which do not have a set time but a time of day, like my morning routing doesn't involve a specific waking up time and some steps can take a varying amount of time, but the order is generally followed. I can struggle to move on to the next stage sometimes, especially from the being in bed reading to the getting out of bed to eat part, even if I feel hungry. Autistic inertia!

I can totally relate to flim flamming around! Unless the day has a thing already decided, a lesson or appointment, or the food shop or the weather is good so we shall cycle, I tend to drift or end up just watching telly or being on the computer. It is really hard to make myself do actual things like the car tax or whatever.

I do have a list but am very bad at looking at it! I sometimes forget to look at it and sometimes just don't want to.

I totally resist my husband trying to impose any further routine. Like doing the laundry on Mondays or whatever. Partly because my energy levels fluctuate and cycling is weather dependent - no way am I going to not cycle to do laundry instead! But even if he just wants a decision like shall we watch this thing on telly at half seven. I'm like maybe, but it might be earlier or later. I am so glad we have catchup now and are no longer subject to the tyranny of the TV schedule! I'm not sure if this is ADHD or demand avoidance.

I do wonder whether I should try to impose some kind of further routine of my own choosing, but I am dubious it would work. 

I tend towards the poor 'executive function', rather than 'need for unvarying routine' end of things. If I do not have anything definite I need to do - when I do, I am very punctual and organised - I just float about like a jellyfish, I never get bored.

I relate to this.

If the routine is lacking or broken for whatever reason I basically just stop, everything’s wrong, nothing makes sense and I’m just existing but unable to do anything because I guess I’m looking for the routine or waiting for it come back. I think that makes sense? I have tried watching something or reading when this happens... but it doesn’t work for me. I don’t think I can properly operate until everything’s back to normal. I’ve always been this way and it’s worse the older I get. LOL.

I've found since I’ve been ill some days I can’t do my usual commitments and work, when that happens I’m basically existing but doing nothing. When the routine is gone or broken, I’m broken. No routine just muddles everything up for me. I finally managed to find a good routine at home and now that’s kind of here but not all the time. It’s very stressful.