Job interviews that didn't go well

I once went for an interview to work at a Odeon cinema and the last question they asked me was "What movie character do you most identify with?" I said Will Smith in I Robot because I think differently from everyone else and see the world differently and I can see through things that other people cant see through. I didnt even know I was autistic at the time. Needless to say, I didnt get the job. I think they expected a more run of the mill answer

I hate interviews but, due to the fact I cant cope with jobs for long, I have had so many of them that I kind of learned a script and just repeated that same script each time to the point where I actually got quite good at them. Similar to what I did for first dates. 

Havnt had one in 3 years but am likely to have to soon so am pooping myself about that as I have forgotten my script 

Jenny Butterfly said:

What I didn't do for the longest time was follow my heart, seek work that suited my personality rather than my qualifications and just accept mysel

Im still trying to figure out what that is for me

Jenny Butterfly said:

This all meant that I often only got the job by pretending to be someone else and that then, once I was in the role, I confused my employers by slipping back into extreme introversion.  Sorry, employers, I couldn't help it because I needed to make a living and your ads (with their terms like "Self starter", "Shirt sleeves approach" and " team player") seemed to suggest that qualified individuals who were introverted need not apply.  I got sick of being screened out because my personality didn't measure up to my qualifications!

Yes! This is exactly what Id always do in job interviews. They say they only want this sort of person so I have to pretend to be it. And then theyd act surprised how once I was in the job, after a few weeks, I wouldnt match up to that and Id be me again. It would feel like I was a disapointment to them

Jenny Butterfly said:

stepping into that imaginary character for the duration of the interview

I once pretended to be Roger Moore in my head to get through a job interview 

Every job Ive been in I always thought after a few months they probobly wish they hadnt hired me, apart from one where they really seemed to like me but I had to leave that after 3 years due to my current burnout and I miss them terribly. 
Even there though, there were a lot of problems with bosses and people 

Jenny Butterfly said:

What I didn't do for the longest time was follow my heart, seek work that suited my personality rather than my qualifications and just accept myself, including the fact that I'm never going to be an effective manager in a corporate environment and that's OK.    

I hope that's what you have done now.

I took beta blockers before interviews, meetings or anything that made me anxious in the corporate setting.

My main way of tackling this though was just avoidance, big time.

It's great to meet someone who has experienced the same deep anxieties as me over this.

All the best to you.

Ah, I took him seriously for quite a long time and some of it became embedded in my mind and did actually help a little.  But I think I was adapting it into my own inner voice and words as his did jar a little. 

I also at one point bought loads of InnerTalk CDs in order to try to brainwash myself into being more confident and at ease in the world (mainly the world of work and especialy interviews and presentations).  

Other attempts included:

- various prescribed meds

- various OTC meds

- various alternative meds

- alcohol

- several books on interview questions and techniques

- courses on being assertive and doing presentations (incl. a couple run by the local Chamber of Commerce, Anxiety UK and even some in house ones run by employers, which I pretended would be useful to help me to "brush up" or "refresh" my skills rather than virtually build them from scratch when really things had become untenable for me and I wanted to escape and try my luck with another employer).

- avoidance, usually under the guise of my physical health problems as I felt these were more acceptable and relatable to my managers than just admitting I was incredibly nervous and unable to cope.  I also sometimes backed out of interviews too, if they happened to land on a bad day.

- applying for absolutely loads of jobs so that I ended up with a whole rake of interviews and could practice desensitising myself to them.  I ended up with 8 interviews in one week, which sort of shared the pressure out over them and allowed me to believe that each individual one didn't matter, because there was another coming right up behind (not saying it wasn't draining though).   

i'm sure the list could go on.  

What I didn't do for the longest time was follow my heart, seek work that suited my personality rather than my qualifications and just accept myself, including the fact that I'm never going to be an effective manager in a corporate environment and that's OK.    

I love that idea.  Give me a gun and I will help :-)

LMAO at Litter Death Squads. 

Paul Mckenna lol. I spent months listening to him every night in the hope that something might change.  It was never going to work as I giggled inside whenever he said the word Trance.  It's quite a short word to pronounce in yorkshire but down south its like. Traahnce.  I just couldnt take the guy seriously. 

I once mentioned Litter Death Squads in an interview! It was some dumb question about what you would do to make the world a better place. I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of potential responses, all of which I felt passionately about. I blurted out Litter Death Squads.  It was like a working title for what I would then go on to explain. A bit like park wardens but with guns to shoot people that drop litter.  It was my way of explaining of how strongly I felt about the issue. The interviewer just didnt get it, so I elaborated referencing Diana Dorrs from the worm that turned. Sometimes its good to ruin an interview early.  The power dynamic shifts and you can have fun with the rest of the interview :)

Jenny Butterfly said:

I'm so sorry you went through that experience and had to withdraw.  It just shouldn't happen.

Thank you. 

It's up to the Parishioners to defend the faith; as the Church is unwilling to do so.

It's not about Catholic, or Protestant, anymore. The Establishment hates ALL BELIEVERS!

I always found exams a lot easier than interviews or presentations.  They were, after all, between me and a bit of paper rather than something which automatically invites the unsettling gaze, judgement and evaluation of others.  But many (especially non autistic people) don't understand this and also seem to assume that everyone feels the same way.  

I'll be 60 next year and at university I remember being absolutely floored with nerves and anxiety.  it ruined the experience for me and led to some very unsafe behaviours when I self medicated with alcohol.  I didn't get the impression that anyone else understood and that made me feel even worse. 

I do hope that these days comments like that would be seen as ableist and discriminatory.  And certainly, after my son's diagnosis, he was told that he could ask for accommodations at university, including help with other ways of meeting the course requirements - assignments or a pre-recorded presentation instead of standing there at the front dissolving into a state of utter panic and probably also having a massive lead-up to it with sleepless nights and waves of nerves coursing through your body. 

I'm so sorry you went through that experience and had to withdraw.  It just shouldn't happen. 

That is very similar to my own experience.  I was completely unable to speak at meetings or make presentations so although intelligent enough to follow a career, I always went for background jobs.

I blush easily too, even at 60! 

As an aside with regard to presentations, in my 30s I applied to study for a part-time degree at my local university. 

However, at a meeting to discuss the course, a tutor made it clear that there would be no exams, only presentations. He made this point as though it was a big advantage to students.  I questioned this and he laughed and said mockingly 'well, you can take exams if you want'. 

Everyone laughed at me but I would much rather take exams.  I withdrew from the course.

Thanks to everyone for your replies.

I've had quite a few over the last year or so as I was thinking about leaving my current employer (i've since gained another position so will stay here), one company asked me why I wanted to leave and I just said I didn't specifically I was just looking, didn't get offered the job :) 

I find that historically (before understanding Autism) I like to put myself in uncomfortable situations to try to get better socially so job interviews are a great way to do that especially over Teams. The interview process is an act, I also serve on our internal interview panel as a diverse panelist and see the other side which is just as scary as you have to try to pick the right person.

I always found it a very tricky situation and had to mask for my life whenever I was interviewed.  Unfortunately I didn't realise that I was masking or even that I was autistic, so I actually thought that this was something everyone did, at least to a degree.  It sounded as though they went through something similar when they were getting their CVs together and planning answers to common interview questions (Where do you see yourself in 5 years time, what is your greatest weakness, what would you say your greatest accompishments have been, etc etc).

But I did all of this and more.  The preparation was horrendous and I even practiced my body language, making eye contact and using assertive statements.  This all meant that I often only got the job by pretending to be someone else and that then, once I was in the role, I confused my employers by slipping back into extreme introversion.  Sorry, employers, I couldn't help it because I needed to make a living and your ads (with their terms like "Self starter", "Shirt sleeves approach" and " team player") seemed to suggest that qualified individuals who were introverted need not apply.  I got sick of being screened out because my personality didn't measure up to my qualifications!

So yes, I'd absolutely agree.  Interviews test social skills, ability to dissimulate and basically whether a person is good at interviews.  I wish I'd felt I could have been more honest.  I even mentioned my full, clean driving license with fake confidence and a smile, without mentioning that I was often plunged into a state of extreme panic at the thought of driving into an unknown or even just a busy area.  And conveyed self assurance and experience when it came to presentations or speaking at large meetings, even though I was actually terrified and those experiences hadn't gone at all well (leading to self medication on some occasions).

All very difficult and it may be different now with a proper diagnosis.  I always felt I could only succeed by imagining "the right person for the job", fleshing out that person in my mind's eye, then stepping into that imaginary character for the duration of the interview.  I'd been listening to a lot of Paul McKenna at one point and I actually thought this was what I had to do until I became comfortable with such situations.  I was monumentally wrong.  

Again, though, in my defence, I feel as though they made me do it.  My living depended on it.  :(       

its true though... and the only way the churches can save themselves and be relevant in the future is get with  the times and accept this truth, only then can they think outside their old fashioned box and come up with a way to make the church relevant again... they need to think that a church was just a social gathering and center of a villiage, that position was taken by pubs....if churchs want to be relevant again they need to sorta become pubs or clubs and rebrand that way to reclaim their position as the center of lives villiages and social gatherings. their attitude is why churchs are dying. they should listen to people like you whod tell them the truth.