Job interviews that didn't go well

That's a horrid experience.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I went for an evening job once and without an interview a person sat down with me and spent 15 minutes explaining how to sell newspaper space for advertisers.

I had no opportunity to write any notes.

Then he took his coat, gave me a key, and told me he was going home and left me to the job.

I was in a haunted house in Old Portsmouth, it was really creepy and dark and I had no clue how to do the job so I just got my coat and went home too!

The worst one I had was just over six years ago. My employment support worker had arranged an interview for me as a Credit Controller. I can do the job really well but as always with autism I have to build myself up to phone calls.
Anyway, the support made it clear to them I was autistic and they would have to provide a list of question for me so there were no surprises.
I was there over an hour and everything was going well... until they put a phone in my hand and and told me to use my credit control skills to get the person at the other end to pay. Completely out of the blue and the opposite of what they had been told and had been agreed. I did my best but obviously wasn't prepared in any way.
Thankfully I didn't get the job. I would have hated that environment.

Oh sorry I just "got it", blimey that was a brain fart and a half. Must be the heat, maybe it's time for me to step away from the desk and have a lie down in the shade.

My executive functioning for language just dropped through the floor I swear I have read it twice now but I'm not "getting it". XD Let me try again in a bit...

Deleted user said:

I was being interviewed as a secretary for a Church of England Cathedral

(not mainstream news) ...

I don't keep regular track of mainstream news tbh, what interview was that?

I thought I'd bump this thread.

I started it 2 IDs ago, and I was thinking about that terrible Church of England interview today.

Yes, that's just so hard, especially when it feels as though society (esp. education and the workplace).  I think it can be a long process and to be honest I still feel like a work in progress.  And I started not with an idea of what I wanted to do specifically, but more the working environment I needed, how much contact with others it would involve, whether there would be any kind of hierarchy and what sort of culture might suit.  Even then, it took a lot of time and a fair bit of luck (the bit many won't own up to because they prefer to believe that it's all down to their personal abilities and efforts).  Also recognising the role of luck when it does happen - my last redundancy was very drawn out and upsetting at the time, but it actually represented a lucky break. 

So it might sound lame, I know, but I wish you the best of luck. 

   

Yes, I think so.  At least to the extent that I'm now aware of my authentic self after decades of masking.  I did use betablockers for a while but found I had to take excessive doses to quell my nerves.  I phased them out but for around 5 years carried them around in my pocket, like a kind of talisman, "just in case".  

Generally speaking, though, avoidance often turned out to be the only safe course of action for me and I used this in minor and more serious ways.  I kind of hid behind a poorly understood medical condition and took as much sick leave as I felt I could safely get away with.  I arranged conflicting appointments and meetings so that I'd have to delegate the one I felt most nervous about and, when all else failed, I feigned sudden illness, hid in the toilets and cried.  Naturally none of this was going to make me employee of the month!

So now I basically do the opposite and don't venture into what I consider to be hostile environments.  My changes could also be considered to be major avoidance, but moving towards being self employed and working from home gives me much more choice and autonomy.  Mind you, I also genuinely believe that in some ways I would have been better off staying on benefits until I could find my niche.  And that's coming from someone who's had quite bad experiences of poverty and the DWP.  The toll of masking and constantly trying to fit in to toxic workplaces was just so great though.          

Indeed.  I do believe that their understanding of "team player" and mine were always very different things.  As with so many words that are bandied about. 

I sometimes think that we share a different language and a different culture because the underlying understanding and meaning are so often at odds.  That is probably the case for everyone, of course, but certainly for me the divergence was quite wide and, after my initial success at interviews, it became increasingly obvious.  

I was basically like the frog in gradually boiling water, got reassurances from others that it was all fine and dandy and also that "Well, it's OK for everyone else!"  Until I was virtually breaking down and it very clearly wasn't OK.  And then the escape plan would have to begin.    

Im feeling the same. Now that my job has finished I am expected to go to the ****ing job centre every week even though I have a fit note from the doctor which means I shouldnt have to, is making me very ill mentally

Most of my interviews went badly wrong.  In several I was told to my face at the end that I didn't get the job and honestly in their opinion I was so bad that I was unemployable.

Now, my nine month temporary job finishes in two weeks and it's back to the job centre and endless interviews.  I'd rather kill myself.

Hi Debbie, nice to meet you  lucky that you don't have to work now. I'm very jealous lol. 

I've been for a lot of job interviews and each one was a disaster from the beginning to end and surprise surprise I didn't get the job, ever. The worst one I can remember was when I applied in an office complex and I was at the interview and I started to get hot, kept biting my fingers, repeatedly brushed my hair from my eyes, ended up nearly choking on my own spit and I eventually passed out twice and then was sick in front of the receptionist.

Not a great experience and most of the interviews were just like that one. I claim now as currently unable to work.

Billy87 said:

My favourite interview question was always "where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" usually asked for jobs like McDonalds and JD Sports. I would always answer "developing in the company" as part of my script while actually thinking in my head "not bloody here!"

I had a conversation on another thread about that question.  It is annoying because it is designed such that more confident, forward, assertive, ambitious people are favoured where my thoughts are to come into work to do an honest job making use of the skills I have and not to be pushed towards increased responsibilities that would burn me out.  A good reply on that thread was:

Shardovan said:

I wonder if the ‘five years time’ question might actually be the perfect place to mention being autistic, as a positive. Emphasise  that you honestly would hope to be their continuity-not-change person who can offset a lot of churn and flux with others

bearing in mind that many of the confident, ambitious people favoured by it would be more likely to leave.

Another good point in the quote:

Jenny Butterfly said:

I often only got the job by pretending to be someone else and that then, once I was in the role, I confused my employers by slipping back into extreme introversion.  Sorry, employers, I couldn't help it because I needed to make a living and your ads (with their terms like "Self starter", "Shirt sleeves approach" and " team player") seemed to suggest that qualified individuals who were introverted need not apply

I posted a while ago that 'team player' is such a subjective descriptor.  I believe the objective definition should be that a person can courteously co-operate with team colleagues and share knowledge in a working context, however the subjectivities creep in such as measuring a person "fitting in", participating in certain types of "team building exercises" and seasonal things like Christmas meals and Secret Santa.

And good old Rog.  The right man for the job and a total success in any language.  

www.youtube.com/watch

Oh yes.  Everybody loves her.  But she's not me! 

www.youtube.com/watch

Billy87 said:

I once pretended to be Roger Moore in my head to get through a job interview 

I find this very familiar, hilarious and sad at the same time! 

I have been a mixture of:-

- several of the more popular girls at school

- a selection of alluring and  vivacious young females from adverts such as the tampon advert (laughing, smiling and dancing on the beach, with a chiffon scarf blowing in the breeze) or that old 70s favourite, Tramp perfume ("She's wearing Tramp, and everybody loves her!")  

- a few characters from films ranging from "What's New Pussycat?" and "How to murder your wife" (Yes, I stepped into role and danced on tables in skimpy dresses) to Elaine in Seinfeld (feigned confidence - "Get out of here!") 

- some business types from the news or from series like "Tycoon" 

I already had severe exposure anxiety but I think this all merged with a very deeply ingrained performance anxiety too.  And none of it was me, none of it was sustainable and the desired results, in jobs and within relationships, were very short lived. 

Now I'm hoping to live the rest of my life as me!

Yes, I could fake it for interview purposes, and even for a few days into the job, but thereafter I think I just puzzled everyone.  And people who'd believed in the mask initially asked me what was wrong, although after a couple of weeks they stopped and just went with a very revised and unfavourable opinion of me.   

Well, what on earth WAS wrong?  I'd basically found myself in an alien culture surrounded by people who, when I didn't perform or interact in the same ways as them, simply carried on regardless, blamed me and edged me out!  They correctly identified that I was in some ways different and thereafter some of them honestly felt like sharks circling around me.  And, naturally enough, my anxiety increased still further and my performance reduced.  It was easy to make mistakes when in a state of panic.    

It's such a pity about your 3 year job as it sounds as though this could have continued if the burnout could have been headed off.  All very difficult though and a shame we just can't have some time out to recover - burnout is just not a term that's generally understood, let alone accommodated.   

Oh, the scripts!  Scripting was always a big part of my masking and sometimes I'd even write them out, not just in advance of interviews, but even everyday conversations, especially at work. 

I always felt like an infiltrator, marking time and gathering an income for as long as I could before they rumbled me and, in one way or another, ousted me.  I got edged out socially, this spilled over into my work as the environment became increasingly uncomfortable and people spoke as if I wasn't there, then I felt so anxious and inhibited that I couldn't deal with meetings or even some queries very well.  It was a total mismatch and the only way in which I was eventually able to resolve it was in working for myself.    

My favourite interview question was always "where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" usually asked for jobs like McDonalds and JD Sports. I would always answer "developing in the company" as part of my script while actually thinking in my head "not bloody here!" I dont think that would have been the right answer though lol