Advice Burnout/Being Overwhelmed

Thank you, thata a really comforting thing to hear. I feel my burnout has caused me to find some new coping stratagies for life and do things in a way that actually helps me rather than just trying to please everyone else all the time which helps. very very early days though

im glad your burnout appears to be over. I know things are still tough though and they are continuing to be. You sound like you have clearer understanding of yourself though and if you can get through several years of that i think you can face anything. You are stronger than you realise

Also what is an ASD rosetta stone?

Billy87 said:

Are you still going through your burnout?

Good question - for which I have no definitive answer.  I've only very recently discovered my ASD Rosetta Stone (stubbed my toe on it whilst stumbling around in the dark.)  So far, I have deciphered it to the extent that the entirety of my past enigmatic 50+ years of life, thoughts, behaviours and beliefs now make absolute sense to me - whereas before, it had just seemed to be an inexplicable clusterf**k of randomness.

This has been a revelation and has kicked me into a different gear, but it doesn't magically sweep away my current prosaic challenges - most of which I have amassed and then allowed to fester into multi-headed hydras - during my prolonged period of void.  Neither the years of burnout, nor the ASD revelation, have eased some of my more onerous traits that continue to severely impact key areas of my functionality today.

I am keen to avoid conflating my ASD (and burnout) into some sort of "catch-all" excuse for the problems that now lay before me.  My traits will persist regardless.  ASD is a fact that explains things about me, not an excuse that forgives the chaos that can result from it.  Whilst this does not appear to be a popular standpoint on this forum, I am very content to find myself aligned with Temple Grandin on such matters.

On balance, I think the burnout has finished, but I also think that other "real world challenges" are only just beginning for me.  Hopefully, I am ready.

....but to end on a positive note for you Billy, I can say this.  My burnout was truly horrid and I don't wish it upon anyone, but I am in no doubt that my mind is now bigger, calmer and stronger than ever before as a result of it.  Yours will be too.

Keep pushing through !

It is such a comforting place to be. whenever i am really overwhelmed and falling apart and cant cope with the rest of the world i just come on here and it comforts me so much. there are good people on here 

Thank you for such a lovely supportive message, it is such a comfort to be around people who understand me in this community. What you said about me having this after surviving so long really helped, i needed to hear that

The money situation is a worry, and i struggle with how people treat you if you dont have a job

im not sure what you mean by spiritual enlightenment but i find my faith really helps me in times like this. my special interests and favourite music really helps too

Are you still going through your burnout?

Somehow stupid random emojis on above message - very irritating! 

I find it a comforting place to be too - and ‘my type of people’ - exactly so. It’s the first time I’ve ever really found people (apart from my husband and children) who I really feel I can relate t It’s pretty amazing and has been in a comfort over the last few months in what have been the darkest days of my life. There are such good people on here who are so supportive and kind - it’s given hope about people. Was not THAT keen on people generally before…….

I tried every type of variation I could imagine to try and break it.  I only accepted work that interested me.  I only worked in places that interested me......and when I say work, it was paid hobby really - could barely manage 2-3 days per week.  I tried every motivational and spiritual enlightenment Youtube going and read LOTS.  I changed what I ate.  I changed my routine (AKA tried to impose one.)  I changed my sleep.  I changed my alcohol soothing dosages.  I changed who I saw.  I changed music.  I changed a room of my home to a sensory dead box (didn't know why I was doing it at the time!)  7 years, and counting!

Accordingly, as you can imagine - I'm not sure what you should do either ! - but if you've survived this long since Christmas, then however long it takes to finally crack it for you - I reckon you got this.

Time is probably the key, and that's unfortunate because it is lonely, boring and dangerously expensive if you can't earn the money we all need.  No one should take their own sanity for granted either - especially during a burnout.

btw Jen, I should have said that I am wholly in your situation at the moment - ie undiagnosed.  Unlike you, however, I haven't ever had any diagnosis for any sort of difference, whether behavioural or mental - but my oddness is irrefutable and has been causing me increasingly practical problems in my life.  Having read, studied and remained very self aware for over 7 years now, I have negligible doubt that I am ASD because of the plethora of indicators throughout my life history, both trite and profound in nature, that for some bizarre reason (AKA super efficient masking) I and others were snow-blind to.  I have a ridiculously close identification to one overriding profile of traits.

I have found this place (forum) to be entirely filled with "my type of thoughts" - thus accordingly - "my type of people."  There are good brains here - and strong hearts.

If you are ASD and in autistic burnout - I can't imagine a better place for you to hang out.  I find it a very comforting place to be.

Nice to meet you.

My burnout was at its worst around Christmas but I am still going through it

Every time I think its improving I try to do more stuff, eg going back to work and then it just gets worse again

not sure what to do

Mine has been going on for 9 months now

I also have experienced/am still experiencing (to some extent) burnout.  I don't have any good answers, other than to agree with the other commenters, but I wanted to say I know what you're going through and how hard it is, and I wanted to wish you well.

I’m so sorry you’ve been through all that. Yes - building some resilience - that’s what me and my son need to do. At the moment we feel like we have zero reserves of any strength whatsoever. Shattered, anxious, frightened of the world. We also had a terrible 2 years - involving serious physical illness as well as mental illness. I don’t want to give up though - I want to get back some of what we had - the ability to enjoy life and not feel so anxious ALL the time (just SOME of the time would be better than this!). 
My son has OCD and depression and has had such a tough time - had to drop out of college as the social anxiety and his Selective Mutism made it unbearable. We are like two wounded soldiers trying to recover from a war - but with no doctors or nurses to help us. Just trying to heal ourselves. Thankfully my husband is great and he’s keeping us going to be honest! So grateful to him - he’s wonderful and does all he can to help. 

I empathise. Both myself and my son are really struggling with this at the moment. Just about getting through the day - and it’s an achievement just doing that. It’s a bit of a nightmare and there’s so little help and support available from anywhere. I just want us to get back to the point where we can enjoy life again - just the simplest things. It’s such incredibly heavy going at the moment.  I’m sorry you’ve experienced this too. 

Thank you.  I found myself with   p l e n t y   of   e m p t y   time to contemplate my own disastrous mega-burnout.  It was a period of de facto "executive function brain death" and I wasn't sure I was ever going to get back to the functionality that I had enjoyed beforehand - I'm still not sure it will.  I hope my experience can help people - I don't wish it on anybody - its absolutely horrible.

I have been waiting for a diagnoses for over 2 years and suffered a massive burnout in 2020. My dad dies of Covid early in lockdown and I just could not cope with that plus getting my mum into a care home and deal with Covid. thankfully I was on furlough but for 3 months my life was nothing. That was April/May 20, it has probably taken until the last few months for me to get back to 'normal'. It took a long time to get any confidence back, to have resiliance for when things go wrong. I have talked to my GP but that is it apart from family support. I think the important part is to no beat your self up, take your time and ask for help.

This is good advice :) 

If you are autistic, then you are autistic.  Any impending diagnosis won't change that.

If you are having a breakdown or a burnout, any impending diagnosis won't change that either.

Accordingly, don't get too focused on needing to know a diagnosis before you can address these things.

You haven't stopped functioning by the sounds of things - and I would recommend that you don't fully, if you can avoid it.

But I also agree with the words of caution from Autonomistic 

Autonomistic said:

If it is autistic burnout then pushing yourself further to do things is likely to worsen the burnout and delay recovery.

So, my advice to you is;

If you can, be kind to yourself whilst you grapple with the fact that you are not functioning properly (for whatever reason).......but also set yourself some goals each day that are going to be achievable so that you maintain the habit of "getting some stuff" done each day.  Setting your own achievable goals - and then hitting them - should help mitigate your frustration and the potential self-loathing that can grow inside us when we are frustrated by our own inability to function properly.

Take it steady, stay sane and keep some planned activities happening whilst you recharge.

Good luck.

That’s a very good and clear definition.

As I understand it (my son and I both have autistic burn out) the most helpful thing is to allow the person to avoid all stressors etc and recuperate without any added pressure or demands on them. Rest and peace essentially. I have to say though that my son and I are currently leading very low demand (in the sense of external pressures) lives but we still both feel terrible. I don’t have the answers unfortunately - but wanted to express solidarity. It’s very hard to deal with. So little help available really - even if you do have a diagnosis. Hope you feel a bit better soon - I hope you’ve got some support from family and/or friends.

Autistic burnout is something that many autistic people report experiencing at least once during their lives. Increased sensory overwhelm and more frequent meltdowns are common indicators. It manifests as a sort of regression, whereby you can no longer do things that you have been able to previously. It may result in complete exhaustion and shutdown.

The best definition I have found online "“a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate supports. It is characterized by pervasive, long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus.”

I have been through it before, although I did not recognise what it was at the time, and have been going through another period of burnout recently. I can definitely identify when you say that noises are like electricity, my hyper sensitivity to noise has been so acute in recent months.

When this happens I experience an overwhelming need to withdraw and retreat from the world. I believe that withdrawal and reducing sensory input as much as possible is the best way to recover. How much you are able to do that will depend upon the practicalities of what is going on in life and any responsibilities you have for caring for others. How long it takes will be very individual and could be months or even years. 

Even if you do eventually get an official diagnosis, autistic burnout is something that isn't currently recognised by doctors. It is more likely to be misdiagnosed as depression. If it is autistic burnout then pushing yourself further to do things is likely to worsen the burnout and delay recovery.