Baby

I took advice you gave to me and told him that I'm a person and if I say no then I don't want it to happen. He called me a retarded freak and said were threw. So I'm very upset at the moment I wasn't expecting him to say and do that. He literally walked out this morning and he's blocked my number and me on Facebook. I've been crying all day so much I don't like being called mean things. I don't want to be lonely but now I'm alone. Maybe I'll find another man next year if I get better. For now I focus on my health.

I have spoken to my nurses team and they say they can help me talk to family about my health so I think one may come to house tomorrow to talk to everyone. I'm a bit worried about that too be honest. I don't know how everyone's going to react. I don't like it.

Also there's talk about them giving me chemotherapy but I read online that it can make you very sick so I'm not sure if I good idea or not. 

I have been very ill again today though so may be it would be a good idea. I don't know what to do about it.

I took advice you gave to me and told him that I'm a person and if I say no then I don't want it to happen. He called me a retarded freak and said were threw. So I'm very upset at the moment I wasn't expecting him to say and do that. He literally walked out this morning and he's blocked my number and me on Facebook. I've been crying all day so much I don't like being called mean things. I don't want to be lonely but now I'm alone. Maybe I'll find another man next year if I get better. For now I focus on my health.

I have spoken to my nurses team and they say they can help me talk to family about my health so I think one may come to house tomorrow to talk to everyone. I'm a bit worried about that too be honest. I don't know how everyone's going to react. I don't like it.

Also there's talk about them giving me chemotherapy but I read online that it can make you very sick so I'm not sure if I good idea or not. 

I have been very ill again today though so may be it would be a good idea. I don't know what to do about it.

You did the right thing. If his reaction was to call you names and split up with you instead of talking about it and compromising, listening and understanding, then you are well rid of him. You are too good for him.

Don't rush to find another man. Concentrate on you and your likes and dislikes, your health, your needs and wants, before rushing to get another man.

Sorry to hear that he was nasty to you but I think that just shows his character and you are well out of that relationship.  As you say you need to concentrate on your health in the immediate future and just know that you will find a partner when the time is right who will support you.  do be careful what you read online and keep talking to your medical team, they have the best knowledge available.

Sorry to hear that he was so horrible to you but a huge well done for standing up to him. His reaction is  the red flags I saw fluttering now waving like mad in a hurricane. Many people end up trapped for a very long time in abusive relationships because they’ve not stood up to the earlier signs of controlling behaviour. Your medical team are the best to talk to about chemo, yes it does make you feel unwell at the time as it can’t be targeted specifically to the tumour but it can extend your life significantly. Maybe you could also try and find a phone helpline for Macmillan they may be able to send you some information. You have to be very careful what you read online there is a lot of dangerous misinformation about natural cancer treatments 

Without sounding unsympathetic... Your better off without someone like that! You need someone who loves and cares for you no matter what. Take time to look after YOU and always make YOURSELF the priority, wish you all the best of luck! Fingers crossed for you! ️

Wow! I am SO incredibly impressed. And feel with you. It seems 2 days ago you posted and here you are standing up for yourself, which is Self-Care 101. But I do know what it feels like to be met with that same response, it's incredibly painful, but please trust me that: Once you cry through it, and some time passes and you can take uninterrupted quality time to think and allow yourself 'be', and you, in turn, delete him from your future, most likely you will feel absolutely no regrets, but a massive sense of relief.

I was in your situation and I did end up pregnant. But without support, I was depressed, overworked, abused, alone. I already had one son and the man I was with was manipulative, cruel, eventually kidnapping my son and left me in severe debt & in the US that meant homeless. I terminated that second pregnancy and I don't regret it. I do have an adult child now (who I wouldn't change for anything) but nothing has been easy. I left his father shortly after that termination and my whole life incrementally got better one step at a time. In fact, today, 20 years later, I am in a way I could've never dreamed! And I'm not middle class, but I am content. I simply had no idea what I was capable of learning, what I was capable of becoming. And all I needed to do was hunt down everything required for self-care including my physiological, psychological, emotional and spiritual health. That started with drawing lines or boundaries and learning to protect my self, my heart, my potential, my core being. 

"Everyone is worthwhile including me". Take ALL the time you need to heal. Sometimes we find ourselves going through motions of life, being motivated by what seems innate or 'natural'. But that wild, natural animalistic nature, when reasoned with, can become disciplined, focused, intentional and inspiring: it takes work and tears. I had to cry so many wrong perspectives out of my thinking. I mean buckets. 

I sincerely hope you can find friendships - a few key good ones who care about helping, healing and invest time in them. We only need a couple really close friends. The opposite of To Dominate is To Connect. Investing in individuals who are giving rather than those who just want to take is no small matter. Learning to walk away from forceful, controlling and domineering humans was difficult at first. These people are not interested in who we are, just using us. Once I learned I could chose who I wanted to be friends with or who I allowed my self to be close to, it was life changing. x

Smiles, it's a really horrible situation, and so upsetting. But you have been brave. That reaction is a reflection of his poor character, and doesn't say anything about you. It sounds like a really good idea to get the nurses to help you; I think that a lot of people wouldn't know what to do in that situation. Many people struggle to make decisions about their own health, so getting your family's perspective might help.

There will be people who care for you, I suspect that over the coming years, you'll be able to find a much nicer partner. I hope things work out for you, best wishes.