Hyperempathy

Glad it's not just me! :) My husbands like that too! If he saw someone with a wound or broken bone he pictures it happening so vividly that it really disturbs him. He can't watch any gory bits of violence in movies. For some weird reason it doesn't bother me when it's people! I just cannot stand animals getting hurt. I think its the defenceless thing! They can't defend or communicate as well as humans.. He's the opposite. So if we are watching a movie and someone pulls someone's arm back so hard it cracks, he looks away and can't get the noise out of his head. I can watch it no problem! But if an animal gets hurt or killed in a movie, I look away or leave the room and don't want to see it. But he can watch it with no issue! Strange!

violetdr3amer said:

I have noticed that NTs seem to take joy out of other people's suffering - it makes them feel better about themselves. Their whole life seems to be a never-ending game of one-upmanship.

Once appropriate behavioural explorations (no matter how right or wrong they may be) become traumatically disassociated by way of inappropriate parental injunctions, such as being yelled or screamed at instead of being calmly instructed about what is good and bad conduct ~ the screaming and yelling becomes a mimicked unconscious, subconscious or preconscious behaviourism, so the joy experienced in another person's suffering is firstly a result of identification (i.e., "Me too!") with either the accident of innocent explorations (slipping over) or being humiliated (being yelled at), and the joy of other people's suffering is not actually joy ~ but hysteria as a limbic integration of emotional trauma and distress.

Hysteric laughing is recognised as a more 'side-splitting' laughter with a drunken disorienting effect for the experiencer ~ and is more animalistic and forced, whereas belly laughter which is much healthier with more an enlightening and vitalising effect for the experiencer, involving funny-ha-ha humour rather than funny-odd hysteria.

Once a child has become entrapped by their 'critical' Parent behaviourisms (their mask self), their 'wounded' Child (from all the yelling and screaming or whatever that has been experienced and observed) is consciously disassociated (making them unconscious, subconscious or preconscious in their sensibilities) and therefore they more or less blindly and habitually seek out one or more other people to identify with to distract themselves from the internal distress of their birth, preadolescence, adolescence, adulthood or even their elderhood too, particular if therapeutic interventions or healthier alternatives are not discovered. :-(

I drive a lot, and see lots of roadkill; especially badgers. The commonplace nature of them means that I ignore it. But I would grieve for the animal in my heart.

I can relate on the roadkill front - whenever I see roadkill, it makes me feel physically sick. Also, the other week I was sitting on the bus and saw a man out of the window who had a huge wound on his neck. I couldn't look away and my neck started hurting too just from looking at it!

The Saw films are horrific - they're horrific and gory for the sake of it, which is completely unnecessary. Why they are so popular is beyond me.

I can watch really violent stuff, see graphic images--no problem. If I see someone's even about to 'start' crying, I'm balled up----it's not something I can control. My husband has to hear me watching youtube in the morning going, "NOPE---too early for tears, morning time, nope" and I turn my head/video off. I can't stand to see any violence done to animals..... I seem to fluctuate between feeling highly sensitive/highly empathetic to completely desensitized. I know many people found the 'Nightstalker' really offensive....I was able to watch it without issue. However, I did have a panic attack in a theatre 7 yrs back when I went to watch Saw II--someone had to carry me out.   

Totally agree with you on this! I am definitely like this too! It's only when I tell people things that upset me that I get met with a blank stare and realise it's not how the masses think! I once was late for work cos I had to save a struggling butterfly from a spider web! I saw it on my front door on my way out and I just couldn't leave it there, spent ages getting the web gently off it's wings after so it could still fly! I also feel like a physical pain inside when I see a roadkill! I always comment on it and who ever I am in the car with rarely does! lol. I also get so upset watching anything about animal cruelty on t.v/internet so I avoid things like that now as it is a horrible feeling that lasts! - Once you've seen something, you can't un-see it!

At about seven years old (not long after we first got a B&W TV) Charlie Chaplin's (already somewhat ancient) "Goldrush" was shown one evening. I couldn't handle it at all, even though it is obviously supposed to be humorous. (I suppose Chaplin had quite a high degree of empathy himself.) I had to hide behind the sofa while it was on. I imagine that the added musical accompaniment was also quite a significant factor in my quite extreme reaction. 

Where I live these days, they tend to like high action sci-fi movies. I still can't handle the extreme violence of such movies. I count myself as quite open-minded, and I am certainly not naive about how violent and reactionary so-called normal life can be. (I know well what it is like to deal with blood, gore and cynicism.). I think of movies like this as far too gratuitous. I also have the idea that they are deliberately trying to out-shock well-made movies such as Alien, in an extremely cheap & nasty over-commercial manner. I also have no time for all these superhero films we get these days, with which Hollywood seems to want to try and be great again! These days, i just walk away from it or switch off, but if someone tries to keep me in the same room as an over-loud and hyperactive action movie, and tries to talk to me at the same time, I go into a state which could be construed as a meltdown. However, the positive side of things is that I can easily walk away from it, and some minutes later I no longer feel very bothered at all.

I also tend to watch so-called horror movies (of the classic type) with a huge amount of tongue-in-cheek amusement. I suppose they are not real enough to match the reality i already know quite well; and so can mostly be disregarded.

Which reminds me that the very first news report I saw on that B&W TV was a report on the assassination of President Kennedy. That shaped my views on both politics and conspiracy theories for a lifetime. I can become quite animatedly angry about this; along the lines that we are never going to be told anything like half the truth. So "Sod off the lot of you" is often my immediate reaction. And that has got me into quite a lot of trouble with my (somewhat less than stellar) career over the years. I'm actually something like a counter-conspiracist. (It's like, "Don't bother me with this nonsense, because I am not going to be easily corralled!" ;-)

That was an interesting read, thank you for posting!

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

This 'empathy' problem is just another example of mislabeling/misidentification of a thing. Feeling empathy is one thing, what you do with it is another.

That is what Milton, Beardon and Chown stated ~ in that there is more requirement for autistic people to learn systematically what in social terms comes automatically to non-autistic people, so it is not that the neurologically diverse are not empathic, we just have different methodologies for relating with it ~ hence my analogy involving different neurological and technological interfaces.

This 'empathy' problem is just another example of mislabeling/misidentification of a thing. Feeling empathy is one thing, what you do with it is another. There's a professor at Kings college making a lot of headway redefining this. I wish I could recall her name. But basically the ability to Relate to another is how psychotics manage to manipulate other NTs. And then there's this: I can relate to your experience but I might also have a different perspective akin to how a child might see a fallen ice cream as a Ruined Day while their more mature self would have a much wider perspective for examining How the Day actually went.

violetdr3amer said:

One thing I find ironic is how neurotypicals always say that we have no empathy, when in fact the opposite is true... I have hyper empathy, which is common in autistic people, apparently.

So basically as far as empathy goes ~ we use neurologically divergent operating systems, and others use neurologically atypical or typical operating systems ~ so we might not at first find immediate system compatibilities, but like just most technological operating systems ~ they all access the web and work in relationship with each other in one way or another. 

I can get confused sometimes, I am bad at picking up hints and offend people with my bluntness. I can tell if something is off, but if they don't tell me then I can't help! I have offended people many times by not picking up on their weird hints.

Not so much, nowadays. But I used to get upset at certain things on TV that we're too close to the bone.

I'm no Animal Rights person, but I can understand the bond between a pet and its human owner. I wish that I treated our dog better whenever I was younger. I was like Lenny from 'Of mice and men' whenever it came to animals.

It's odd, I seem to have a detached compassion. People might occasionally complain I should have noticed how they feel and I didn't, but it doesn't mean I don't care. TELL me explicitly how you feel and I will listen all day and help if I can. But I don't ever take that on board as though it were my own pain...quite handy in some jobs I've done, actually. I'd be no practical use if I got overly involved. 

Emotionally, I seem to be more personally affected by the pain of communities or peoples than individuals, even the individuals I love. Is that odd?

I'd like to think I have empathy.

I got diagnosed at 30. I never cared about social hierarchy and I have a tendency to call people out on BS, which is probably why people don't like me. Women aren't supposed to have opinions.

He's called Humphrey, I saw a post a few days about how NT's perceive social situations and interactions and I was just simply blown away I had no idea. I can't remember exactly what it said but it was something on the lines of. They always have instinctual understanding of 'their place' in a social hierarchy and how high up they are and others and they can "feel" the mood in an interaction with others It's just like. How is that possible and how did no one pick up on my lack of understanding when I was younger. (I'm 22 and got diagnosed 3 weeks ago)

Aw, they're adorable, with their big floppy chops! What is your puppy's name?

I think I have limited understanding of NTs, like their obsession with status, money etc. I have very few friends, but my relationships never work out - one of the main criticisms I got from exes is that I am socially embarrassing... clearly the most important thing...

They're GREAT! I have Dog de Bordeaux puppy 5 months old. And I cannot tell you how amazing they are for anxiety there's not judgement or opinion just happiness all they want is for their human to be happy and calm. I definitely have extremely low empathy for people it''s very difficult to get me emotional with issues that involve other people I think that's why I don't have friends and my relationships don't work out I just don't understand people very well.

A.I. *weeps*!!