Does anyone feel like...

I haven’t had one yet but I am hopeful for a confirmation, I personally think it is a beautiful way of being and one that will just increase. I reckon there will be less and less NT’s over time.

Deficiencies in a world designed by and for neurotypical people perhaps, but unlikely to be deficiencies to those of us that understand you.

Honestly, I felt a lot more defective when I thought I was NT. Now that I know I'm autistic (or assume I am while I wait to get a formal dx) I can see that what I thought was a failure yesterday was actually a big success. My life and my dismal outcomes now have a context that has changed so much about how I was judging myself 

you need to get legal representation  and fight for your kids back unless there is something else u haven't disclosed

I feel defective too. History shows us that we are not accepted. The Nazi's said we went against all that they stood for because we didn't follow orders and they euthanised us. I feel it's important for the autistic community to stick together and support one another because we actually feel similar, neurotypics will never understand. I grew up believing I was normal and wondered why people treated me differently, It's because I wasn't like them. I remember this guy telling me that his brother was autistic and how he struggled, I felt like I was a burden on society because I wasn't autistic and there was no excuse for my behaviour. It was only when I turned 28 I got a diagnostic opinion of autism. The local council took my child away from me after misdiagnosing me with multiple personality disorder before autism was even suspected.

no i am not defective i process things differently which was an advantage in Judo fights and army strategy

and choosing a new color for my nails

No, I have never felt like that.

Cats are not defective dogs.

I just feel OK with who I am. 

I quite often refer to myself as deficient, I feel like I've been born with a bit of my brain missing or something and I'm definitely "less than" NTs in a lot of ways.

I'm classed as "high functioning" but have support workers for work, uni and someone I can call for day to day support so I hover between a level 1 and 2, more of a 2 at the moment. Someone who was normal and not deficient would certainly not need all that to function normally so I'm definitely deficient, even if the doctors and support people don't like me using that term. 

i hope i am incorrect

I believe  Anthony has left this forum

Hi, Anthony:

I really appreciated your candid post. Thank you.

I think of myself as defective at least daily, but then I catch myself and I think of all of the gifts that ASD has given me. Things like the ability to experience emotion intensely, being able to be a loyal friend, and the ability to see both tiny details and the big picture.

Perhaps you have noticed you have multiple gifts as the result of having ASD? I find that right alongside the challenges come gifts that are rare and precious. 

Elizabeth

I'm not sure if it's an honest label (bear with me) - socially I lack a lot of skills (something which I overhead someone say at work once years ago and it really stung!) and I avoid social events which is difficult for some to understand. I berated myself a lot over the years because I struggled just being with people. 

Fortunately I'm in work at the moment - so although I can't navigate the social networking or some of the ambiguity at managerial grades and some of my thought processes when I'm figuring stuff out can be difficult for people to follow, I've been in many a work situation where I've seen solutions to things where others haven't or resolved issues that seem to have evaded everyone else which is a boost. 

Reading about other people's vulnerabilities has helped. Brene Brown (non-aspie), an American professor who has written on the topic is brutally honest about her own challenges - there's something that helps when reading about others lived experience.

I think if anyone is taken out of their comfort zone for long enough they would struggle. My view of ASD is that because of our unique outlook on the world we're pretty much out of our comfort zone every day - and the tools and support we need to navigate the world aren't always there. More reason for us to stop judging ourselves by others standards and to be kinder to ourselves. 

My challenge has always been to develop a better social network - I do try but I’ve not had much success if I’m fair :-/ Role model wise there’s elements of so many people I aspire too so I’ll have to try and think who’ll make the best candidate! 

I'll be honest with you. I totally don't think like this. I'm a very positive person and always look for the best in things. Yes, I have a lot of problems but there are so many positives of being on the spectrum. So what if I don't get invited to parties and don't have many friends. These things are exhausting anyway. I'll put my energies into things I enjoy and if I find others who enjoy these things then brilliant. If not then it's fine.

Set yourself challenges to reach, think of someone who can be a role model to you and you can one day be like them. 

I totally get what you mean about reading people - one of my more abstract views advocates for a much simpler system - I shan’t go into it here as it’s probably a bit controversial but happy to chat it through sometime

I also agree that high IQ is an issue - I think it allows us to be overly analytical and thus never happy with life.

I’m the same with temporary labels but “defective” is the only one which has withstood the test of time. 

i can see feeling defective... some aspies (if i can use that term) really have a hard time; they stand out for their social ineptitude (sorry). i often don't no, just no clue ---i is this person trying to take advantage of me, are they making fun of me, do they want me to get lost? and i'll get that signal ---- too late. some of us don't have useful interests --- mine just come and go. for awhile, chess. then movies... then poetry (uh, i can't really recommend that one, sorry, lol).. comedy... really rough stuff, edgey. nobody likes that... 

even aspies with higher than average iq's can be really miserable...........sorry, it's true.  sometimes it seemed like it woulda been better to have a lower than normal iq.... , altho i have no idea why. aspies with higher iq's sometimes can be simply miserable that they just can't really be successful at all in life.

There are a few people out there who have a vested interest in getting you to permanently label yourself as defective. I don't know about you, but my self-image drifts all over the place. I can't really label myself for any great length of time as just one thing, So I am absolutely certain that others are incapable of making a label stick to me for any great length of time. So mess up their day for them a bit by not doing their dirty work for them! And have some fun doing it!

I have been known to think of myself amongst the bungled and the botched; but then that's what makes me human. Try comparing yourself to some of the increasingly BS characters who are currently thought of as 'successful' in the shallow world of Facebook and Twitter moments These supposed effectives almost always end up looking somewhat defective in the longer term.. I find that it helps me not to take my way of doing things too seriously. I can laugh at my own way of doing things, but can also see that my own conduct suits my life better than some supposed expert's prescription.

that’s what I’ve been told to do - but I can’t shake it because I know i’m defective... it’s frustrating - I sometimes think if I was an animal someone would have taken me to the vets to be put d  out en by now.