Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone feel like they are defective with their diagnosis? It’s a term I use to describe myself a lot and I’m always berated for it by others - mostly professionals - but I am very literal in what I say so my choice of word I believe is correct. I grant a lack of self worth is a factor in how I evaluate myself but I don’t think calling myself defective (or weird is the other label I give myself) is in any way unfair.
Evidentially: I can’t make friends for trying, my outlooks on the world and others are abstract, I can’t cope with some basic things many can - defective right?
Honestly, I felt a lot more defective when I thought I was NT. Now that I know I'm autistic (or assume I am while I wait to get a formal dx) I can see that what I thought was a failure yesterday was actually a big success. My life and my dismal outcomes now have a context that has changed so much about how I was judging myself