Does anyone feel like...

I haven’t had one yet but I am hopeful for a confirmation, I personally think it is a beautiful way of being and one that will just increase. I reckon there will be less and less NT’s over time.

Deficiencies in a world designed by and for neurotypical people perhaps, but unlikely to be deficiencies to those of us that understand you.

Honestly, I felt a lot more defective when I thought I was NT. Now that I know I'm autistic (or assume I am while I wait to get a formal dx) I can see that what I thought was a failure yesterday was actually a big success. My life and my dismal outcomes now have a context that has changed so much about how I was judging myself 

you need to get legal representation  and fight for your kids back unless there is something else u haven't disclosed

I feel defective too. History shows us that we are not accepted. The Nazi's said we went against all that they stood for because we didn't follow orders and they euthanised us. I feel it's important for the autistic community to stick together and support one another because we actually feel similar, neurotypics will never understand. I grew up believing I was normal and wondered why people treated me differently, It's because I wasn't like them. I remember this guy telling me that his brother was autistic and how he struggled, I felt like I was a burden on society because I wasn't autistic and there was no excuse for my behaviour. It was only when I turned 28 I got a diagnostic opinion of autism. The local council took my child away from me after misdiagnosing me with multiple personality disorder before autism was even suspected.

But that analogy doesn't make sense. Dogs and cats are different species. 

no i am not defective i process things differently which was an advantage in Judo fights and army strategy

and choosing a new color for my nails

No, I have never felt like that.

Cats are not defective dogs.

I just feel OK with who I am. 

I quite often refer to myself as deficient, I feel like I've been born with a bit of my brain missing or something and I'm definitely "less than" NTs in a lot of ways.

I'm classed as "high functioning" but have support workers for work, uni and someone I can call for day to day support so I hover between a level 1 and 2, more of a 2 at the moment. Someone who was normal and not deficient would certainly not need all that to function normally so I'm definitely deficient, even if the doctors and support people don't like me using that term. 

i agree

Yes. 

People play word games with this stuff. 

The word games started as a defence against people who use the words like 'defective' in a negative judgement sort of way rather than just in an observational 'what goes against the norm' sort of way. 

Also, people have mixed up meanings of words. They see saying something is 'normal' and 'abnormal' as negative judgements too. 'normal' and 'abnormal' become a word that also means 'natural' to people. 

So if someone says, 'they aren't normal' someone might get offended and say, 'So you're saying I'm unnatural?' 

But the word 'unnatural' is absolute bollocks. Because there is no such thing as 'unnatural.' 

'Unnatural' really means something people perceive as 'bad.' Or to confuse things further, to mean 'man made' as if humans are not nature themselves, and therefore anything they create is therefore 'unnatural' and 'manmade' But that's all a word game humans seem to play. 

If we don't function in the 'normal' way for the vast majority of humans, then 'defective' certainly seems like a legit word to use. 

The problem is some people see the word 'defective' as meaning, 'so we can do what we want to these people and these people have no rights,' and then as already mentioned in defence, good-natured peopled say, 'We need to stop using the word defective because it makes them seem abnormal.' Even though they are, statistically, in the vast majority of the human species, 'abnormal.' 

Yes, it can be argued that if we lived in a different society, and the human species was a bit different, we wouldn't be considered 'defective' we might well be considered the norm and the roles would be reversed. But if that was the case, we would be the majority and we wouldn't have a diagnosis. And I don't see much point in this what if ism because.... we are here, we are human and we don't live in that alternate reality! 

We only do this word game stuff for mental illness and neurological developmental disorders like autism that can't be seen physically. 

For example, no doctor is going to deny that my heart functions and is different from the 'normal' non-defective heart. Because they can see the parts I have missing, and the parts that beat differently, and the fact my blood goes around my body in a different way to normal people. 

Yet, if I sit in front of a psychologist they'll say all these bull 'positive' life-affirming things like, 'You're just different' while simultaneously admitting you have a diagnosis. It makes no sense when you really break the language down for what it is. 


Because if it really is all about simply being different, then why the need for a diagnosis? Because it's helpful, because of the potential support that may be in place because of the diagnosis. Yes, we could have debates as to whether society does give enough support, but the fact is the diagnosis is really there to say, 'yes this person requires at least a little bit of support,' despite governments failures to give that support. 

i hope i am incorrect

I believe  Anthony has left this forum

Hi, Anthony:

I really appreciated your candid post. Thank you.

I think of myself as defective at least daily, but then I catch myself and I think of all of the gifts that ASD has given me. Things like the ability to experience emotion intensely, being able to be a loyal friend, and the ability to see both tiny details and the big picture.

Perhaps you have noticed you have multiple gifts as the result of having ASD? I find that right alongside the challenges come gifts that are rare and precious. 

Elizabeth

I'm not sure if it's an honest label (bear with me) - socially I lack a lot of skills (something which I overhead someone say at work once years ago and it really stung!) and I avoid social events which is difficult for some to understand. I berated myself a lot over the years because I struggled just being with people. 

Fortunately I'm in work at the moment - so although I can't navigate the social networking or some of the ambiguity at managerial grades and some of my thought processes when I'm figuring stuff out can be difficult for people to follow, I've been in many a work situation where I've seen solutions to things where others haven't or resolved issues that seem to have evaded everyone else which is a boost. 

Reading about other people's vulnerabilities has helped. Brene Brown (non-aspie), an American professor who has written on the topic is brutally honest about her own challenges - there's something that helps when reading about others lived experience.

I think if anyone is taken out of their comfort zone for long enough they would struggle. My view of ASD is that because of our unique outlook on the world we're pretty much out of our comfort zone every day - and the tools and support we need to navigate the world aren't always there. More reason for us to stop judging ourselves by others standards and to be kinder to ourselves. 

My challenge has always been to develop a better social network - I do try but I’ve not had much success if I’m fair :-/ Role model wise there’s elements of so many people I aspire too so I’ll have to try and think who’ll make the best candidate! 

I'll be honest with you. I totally don't think like this. I'm a very positive person and always look for the best in things. Yes, I have a lot of problems but there are so many positives of being on the spectrum. So what if I don't get invited to parties and don't have many friends. These things are exhausting anyway. I'll put my energies into things I enjoy and if I find others who enjoy these things then brilliant. If not then it's fine.

Set yourself challenges to reach, think of someone who can be a role model to you and you can one day be like them. 

That’s the area I feel it in most - society has developed in a way that social interaction has become far too complex. 

I totally get what you mean about reading people - one of my more abstract views advocates for a much simpler system - I shan’t go into it here as it’s probably a bit controversial but happy to chat it through sometime

I also agree that high IQ is an issue - I think it allows us to be overly analytical and thus never happy with life.

I’m the same with temporary labels but “defective” is the only one which has withstood the test of time.