'Coming out' after being diagnosed

Some companies put pressure on you to sign forms to allow the company to get hold of your medical records. My last 2 employers did this, my current employer is the NHS and I refused and told them they'd have to be happy with a letter my doctor had done for me incidentally for PIP. 

Additionally, providing evidence usually means they want to see a copy of the diagnosis report - but that is likely to contain a whole load of VERY personal information that has nothing to do with your ability to work, your employment or your employer - it could be anything from being a bedwetter to being abused by a relative.       I'd ask your gp or diagnosing clinic for a cut-down version that only contains the pertinent information needed to satisfy the employer's legal requirement.

What a nightmare. Hopefully the OP can get advice and find the way through this.

Sadly I was line managing a militant autistic last year who joined us. She demanded all sorts of things and kept complaining about my ignorance on autism and how it wasn't her job to train me in it, as her employer I should have known even before she told me (week 2). Pretty ironic! (I wasn't out at work at the time).

It ended up her taking me to a disciplinary because when a colleague started a meeting on time with out her cos she was late. I didn't agree that all company meetings should start up to 15 mins late, instead I'd suggested we accommodate her by not worrying if she was late. Her shouting behavioyr was really unacceptable and I felt bullied. It ended up in £2k of outside mediation fees and her leaving after 6 months without having completed a single piece of work!

Anyone can be self entitled and this was def a case of me me me.

Whatever you decide to do I think it's worth waiting for now.

This is big and emotional news for you. I found it took 2 months of digesting. I thought about little else. I cried a lot, revisted the past, my childhood, lots of scenarios, my relationship to parents, etc. That was enough to deal with without work.

I've now revealed it to a lot of people. And I learnt how to do it well and anticipate reactions etc before telling some work people.

Thete are people I regret telling. Once it's out it's out and you can't untell people. Give yourself time.

You have to be extremely careful, i am saying this from experience. Some employment contracts that large companies like to use have a fail to disclose clause which is perfectly legal. If you sign this type of employment contact they have the right to immediately dismiss you for not disclosing your diagnosis during the application and interview period. 

If you disclose your autism with an employer they need copy of the diagnosis in their records for legal purposes, Failing to hand them copy of the diagnosis can result in the autistic employer not having reasonable evidence as proof for reasonable adjustments being made.

They have been legal cases in the past where employers have gotten away with discrimination case against an individuals with autism because the autistic individual failed to provide medical evidence of proof of them having autism.

Your choosing to interpreting it as nasty, they are being kind by informing them of the most likely outcome from their own experiences.  

Plastic & cookiemum1986 has given more useful advice on this community page and more encouragement than most professional who job it is to educate and inform people about autism.

thanks for replying there are some people replying to your new discussion so u see you have made a good impression in a very short time.

Also you have just been diagnosed so you will be sensitive and maybe unstable for a few months as you settle into your new state. Ok I'm going on what I was like

Are u staying ?,,,, i think u should  I'll buy u a virtual coffee

I hope to see more kind people like you adie on this forum. Thank you. 

you're fine LL

telling you're employer is probably the most dangerous step for an autistic person  i have read many horror stories in here and also really good reactions by employers.

It's like throwing a dice.

u're doing great LL you have done nothing wrong. 

feel free to grab me anytime if u are being overwhelmed

hope to talk to your again

Directly you declare a disability, the first thing the management / HR will ask is what accommodations they need to make to assist you in your employment - you REALLY need to understand the way it affects you to be able to answer this question - they want a good, concise answer that they can work with to tick the box.

If you dither and don't really know or haven't considered it, you will lose the opportunity - it's almost always a one-shot only - if you miss it, it will be hard to renegotiate the terms later.    Then they might see you as taking the pi** and trying to take advantage.

I was diagnosed in 2008 - it took me a couple of years before I actually understood how my Asperger's affected me and just how vulnerable I was to manipulation.    I'm like Commander Data from Star Trek - super capable, but lacking in the finer points of human interaction so I am very naive and unskilled in the political game in business.    I was unfortunate that my direct manager was a skilled bully.

I agree with this. Maybe I misunderstood what people were saying - I do have Autism after all. 

I do have a problem with people suggesting this WILL happen if Bobcat discloses their diagnosis. We simply don't know, it may have a positive outcome.

None of us are telling him *not* to do it - we're all just cautioning him to wait and understand his individual needs before rushing out to tell everyone - some people will be supportive, others might not be - so we suggest using judgement and caution before making an announcement that cannot be withdrawn once it's out there.

You are completely right. I take back everything I said. Please forgive me. 

And think about what you're saying. Oh all these people have had awful experiences doing that thing but you go do it anyway, I'm sure you'll be fine. It's all well you saying he'll be fine, you're not the one who will be affected. 

I personally have never had much luck mixing water with electricity, should I encourage others to do it to see if they get a better outcome?

You're being naive

Sorry, I meant Cookiesmum1986. I agree with stating individual experiences as you have but I do have a problem with people suggesting this WILL happen if Bobcat discloses their diagnosis. We simply don't know, it may have a positive outcome. It is their choice and people shouldn't scare them into hiding because of their own bad experiences - me included. 

I didn't expect to be attacked for my opinions.

I'm not attacking you in the slightest - just laying out what happened to me - if you actually read what I say, there is absolutely no emotion linked to it at all - just factual data..

Yes, and those of us who are also employed and have seen this rodeo before are urging caution. You left your last job due to mental health, do you think magically rewrapping it and calling it autism will make employers nicer? They basically treat you like a brain damaged doughnut.

I did everything right, declared autism on my application, got the job, told my manager, things were fine and then things were not fine. Instead of tackling the bully (documented, with witnesses) I was asked if it was maybe my autism that attracted these personalities to me! This is a "2 ticks disability" employer. 

I'm still employed, same employer but it's been tough. Every concern (including being redeployed to work with an actual nazi) has been pinned on my autism. Like yeah I'm sure Tim would have been less vocal about rounding up all the elderly and sick people and just leaving them to die in camps instead of giving them health treatment in a pandemic if I was just a bit less autistic around him, that's definitely a correlation.