Published on 12, July, 2020
Since I can remember I have felt different. Everyone would be making so much noise and I would look around in silence reading everyone's face and voices. I had no idea what to say so I would often choose to say nothing or say 'yes' which felt easy enough.
As I have got older the symptoms have not gone away. I still find myself staring into space and not sure what to say.
I usually have an anxiety build up before going out and a cool down sensation when I close the door and I am home.
I prefer being alone because I really cant understand anyone. I always end up offending them and wondering what happened. They don't usually seem keen to meet up again.
I guess it would be nice to have someone to talk to that would not judge me. Someone that got my condition. I feel people just think I am weird. It makes me feel like staying alone than trying again.
Hi everyone, thanks for all the responses, it is a relief to know I am not going through this alone. I have found making mini note books at home and crafts a relaxing pass time. It seems to help take off the mind from thinking at times when anxiety is high. I hope everyone has a good day. Cant do groups myself and I am too anxious so miss a lot of things. I don’t like groups and noise, so I go out when it’s quite and then don’t really bump into many people. I also FREEZE in public. So I have a worried serious look on my face and I doubt I look very welcoming to anyone who might think of saying hello. Anyone got a pet? I find that helped having a pet to look after and something that didn’t expect me to talk.....
I was about to type the same. I cant wind down as soon as I'm home. Sometimes its 24 hours or so later! I'm not diagnosed though
Hi Roses, are you new to the forum? If so then welcome.
I understand how you feel. When I come home it takes me a while to wind down. Some years back I started having high blood pressure and I was fitted with a BP monitor which took readings every couple of hours - it showed very high readings at work, falling shortly after I got home. My blood pressure is usually higher at the doctor's surgery so I had to buy a home BP monitor. It's like a physical manifestation of my anxiety/stress levels.
I have a partner but he is similar to me and so we have a close connection, however I've always struggled with friendships. I can talk to people I've got to know on a one to one basis ok, but I don't like going out in a group as several different conversations going on becomes uncomfortable, sometimes overwhelming if it gets too noisy. And I have to try to think of appropriate "small talk" subjects, which I find tedious.
All of my life it's been me trying to keep in contact with people I thought I was close to - family as well as friends. Most of them seemed happy to let me do all the running. I have pretty much stopped seeing people outside of work or home now, it's too stressful.
I work part time and the people I work with are pretty easy going and have got used to me. They don't pressurise me into going to any social events although sometimes I try to attend, at least for a limited time, if it's a special occasion.
We understand on here about what it's like to feel judged, so post again whenever you feel the need to chat about anything.
your situation sounds very similar to lots of people on here, so I am sure there will be lots of sympathetic people
Hello, this is basically how I feel most days. If you ever want to talk I would be more than happy to listen as I also feel lonely and would like to talk to people who are similar to me.