Feel so lost and out of place

Since I can remember I have felt different. Everyone would be making so much noise and I would look around in silence reading everyone's face and voices. I had no idea what to say so I would often choose to say nothing or say 'yes' which felt easy enough.

As I have got older the symptoms have not gone away. I still find myself staring into space and not sure what to say.

I usually have an anxiety build up before going out and a cool down sensation when I close the door and I am home.

I prefer being alone because I really cant understand anyone. I always end up offending them and wondering what happened. They don't usually seem keen to meet up again. 

I guess it would be nice to have someone to talk to that would not judge me. Someone that got my condition. I feel people just think I am weird. It makes me feel like staying alone than trying again. 

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