Am I wrong to feel offended by...

Am I wrong in feeling offended that a task I've been performing for over a year has now been assigned to someone else, with someone other than myself supervising them?

Said supervisor hasn't consulted me and has disregarded my documentation / process.

Feels like a massive FU to me.

My work colleague tells me not to take it personally.

I'm growing tired of people spouting things like...

"Don't take it personally", "You're not the only one this affects", "I don't understand your problem", etc.

Management at work do my head in.

  • I won't be grabbing popcorn as I don't care for it and I haven't been enjoying some of the things I've been reading today.  I hope that it improves as you say.  I will give it time because I would expect anything hosted by the National Autistic Society to be more reputable and safe than some of the other forums I've tried.  Based on what I've seen I will need some convincing.

  • Grab the popcorn and enjoy!

  • Thankyou, I will.  But you will understand that I like know the flavour of a community before I commit too much to it.  I will sit aside for a while and watch.

  • Then all I can say is watch the threads develop, ask any questions you need ansers to and then use your own judgement with the answers to figure out who you think speaks the most sense.

    There's no pressure to blindly follow anything on these threads - feel free to start your own thread and I'm sure you'll get some helpful feedback.

  • I'm thinking less about people striving for a sense of justice about what they are saying and more about people who seem to be deliberatly posting comments designed to provoke a reaction through rudeness and passive aggressiveness and continuing with this behaviour even after they've been asked to stop it.  This thread gives a very good example.  I'm concerned too about how the tone of a certain commentator seems to shift around a lot between threads.  This is why I think its possibly about historic grievances or misunderstandings.  I hope it isn't anything more sinister than that, but I have come unstuck with such people before and I would sooner not have it happening again.

  • Unfortunately, we're all autistic - and our overblown sense of justice can lead people to the dark side.  Hopefully, only temporarily.

  • Thankyou both for your comments and I will try to take your words for it.  I have been on forums where offensive material gets hidden.  I think the best way to stop these threads from continuing is the stop posting to them.  I find an 'element' here that is not nice and seems to be deliberately provoking controversy, which i would more happily do without.

  • I woudn't say this forum is a 'danger'.  

    There are very very few occasions when this happens, and a pattern can usually be found when it does so it should have been dealt with and reported earlier.

    I don't know whether it was a case of getting out of bed the wrong side or the weather to blame, but I think we will find normal service will be resumed soon.  So don't give up yet, there is much usefulness and enjoyment to be found here.

    I would be very careful about accepting or making 'Friends Requests' though without doing a thorough check on people first through looking at the profile pages and 'previous posts'  It may take a long time but it will at least give some idea as to what people are like.  And never be afraid to 'unfriend' someone

  • There has been a bit of a bust-up on the boards recently - don't get disheartened - normal service will be resumed soon.

    This is a great place normally - but lots of good people are just waiting for it to all die down and these nasty threads to drop down the list & out of existance. 

    Personally, I'd like these threads to all to disappear sooner rather than later.

  • I've just seen another comment above in which the person says this community is full of danger.  If trolling is the danger, then I've had more than enough of that in other communities I've tried.  I've been looking at some of these threads during the day and it does seem like you have a problem here.  I'm just concerned how the tone of some of the comments seems to vary so much and am shocked by what I've seen on the locked threads. Its almost like multiple personalities.  Either that or some kind of historic grievances that are being aired.  In the circumstances i think I'm inclined to agree that there may be dangers here and may not stay around for much longer myself.  I've had so much damage at the hands of certain people in my life and I don't want to risk any  more of it.  It's always difficult with the internet of course because you don't know who is there.  I was 'groomed' by someone on Facebook who seemed very genuine, so I accepted there friendship request, which brought all sorts of abuse on my head.  It's so hard to find anywhere safe.

  • So have I with a past employer.  I don't think there's any arrogance or selfishness expressed by the original poster and he does seem to have attracted some quite rude comments at the beginning.  I hope he has stayed around and that he gets the answers he needs.

  • Yes, Greg's question was an expression of how he felt after what he thought was quite an unjustifiable action by his employer.  I have been deterred from answering the original question due to what has been said.  But I might respond later as I have had the same sort of experience with my employer.

  • Good gracious.  I've just seen lots of other comments on this thread that I didn't notice when I first commented earlier.  It's as if they've suddenly appeared from nowhere.  Reading through it, I'm shocked at some of what I see.  It seems there are some unresolved animosities amongst members and the arguments have led to this person who posted the thread to leave.  This is a great shame.  I thought the question he asked was perfectly rational and understandable, and as I've implied in my first comment I think I would feel the same.  The first response and some of the others following on from it do seem quite harsh and blunt, and I would only hazard a guess that there may be some history behind them.  I'm basing this on some other comments I've seen on another thread, which don't seem to be so strident or confrontational.  I would have hoped that people would have been more tolerant and understanding about one another on  forum like this.  Many of us are quite damaged by our experiences in the world, so want to come to a place where we can talk openly without being judged or abused further.

  • It happened to me once in an office job I had.  I was doing the job well, too.  Never any complaints.  In fact I used to get phone calls and letters from satisfied customers thanking me for my help.  But then I was switched to another section with very little warning, and with no proper reason given.  I was just told that I was needed to cover the role temporarily and I was the best experienced to handle it.  But then the person who took over my old job left after a while, and instead of returning me they took someone else on to do it.  I left shortly afterwards myself.  Who knows what their reasoning is with these things.  So yes, I would feel upset by it. 

  • i am confused as to why this forum seems to have no report function and very little or no moderation (I am a forum moderator elsewhere, a certain person would have been banned by now if this discussion was happening under my control).

  • I'd be offended. If there is something wrong with what you do they should at least explain. No NT's don't seem to give a stuff about what is right just what they want. I don't think autistic people are self obsessed as someone else insists. Many of my NT collegues are self obsessed to the point that things are not done as they should be because an NT had a hissy fit. Our office kettle that granted was purchased by us so not company property still falls under the PAT testing policy. It was condemed but has been left "untested" because the person that made the actual purchase on our behalf (without asking anyone because he is a self obsessed NT) threw a hissy fit and put up a portrayal of being deeply offended that the kettle was condemed.

    I am usually in trouble at work because I am being selfless and trying to have stuff done right for the benefit of the company but no one cares. i have come to he conclusion that both my directors are autistic as they have 0 people skills and cannot run the company internally to save their lives and everyone does as they please.

    i am on the hunt for a new job.

  • Totally agreed, I actually think we are not selfish or self centered. Well explained.

  • It's sad that people have been upset by the conflict on this thread. The issue over what is autism, is actually related to Greg's problem, but not in the way BlueRay believes. This thread prompted me to research the etymology of the word autism, and although aut does mean self, ism means a state of being. Put them together and you have "a state of being oneself" Non autistics mould their personalities and behaviour to fit into the groups they are in, autisics have an essential "self" they cannot really change. We are not selfish or self centered - while we can mimic NT behaviour, we're not linked into the web of NT non verbal communication. I do not know why Greg's management chose to assign his work to someone else, but it may be that some people he had to interact with felt more comfortable dealing with the person who is now doing that task. From what I have read, NTs more often make decisions based on personal relationships/interactions rather than performance/information. They also learn differently, in a "forest first" approach, whereas we build up knowledge from details. I would feel offended though in that scenario.

  • I think that if I'd been performing a task for over a year without any issues, I'd be due an explanation if I was suddenly taken off the job and replaced by someone else.  So yes, it's perfectly reasonable (as I see it) for you to feel upset.  Have you spoken to the supervisor about the issue?  He or she really should have discussed it with you first - especially if it's meant a demotion, or a reduced chance of extra income.

    I firmly believe that if someone is doing something wrong, or not to the satisfaction of their colleagues/superiors, and no one tells them... then how are they to know?  Surely, it's only reasonable to speak to the person and set them on the right course - or at least to discuss the issue properly.  But people don't tend to do this - especially in the workplace.  Instead, people get in their little huddles and gossip about the person.  It's very harmful - to all concerned.

    An example.  I made a comment in the canteen yesterday about 'Ooh... mushy broccoli!'  Now, I actually like mushy broccoli.  But a colleague heard it and was good enough to come up to me later and say 'You need to be careful about making such comments where catering staff will be likely to hear them, because it's caused trouble before.'  I explained that I actually didn't mean it in a derogatory sense.  But I could see his point, and how the comment might be taken the wrong way, so I was grateful to him for pointing this out.  Otherwise, I might have gone  on making comments about 'mushy broccoli' and found myself in trouble!

  • Completely understandable - I did a load of work prepping for delivery of a new feature on an app I'm working on so that it could be delivered while I was on extended leave (2 months). I got back to be told "Oh, the Project Manager binned all your tickets... and we wrote new ones - new team, new process..."

    I was f***ing furious and 'rage quit' our internal chat tool... All my hard work just tossed out like it was worthless...

    But, when I calmed down a bit I was all "F*** 'em... I still got paid and if they are happy to pay to do the same work twice it's not my problem..."

    People do stupid things and make bad decisions, it's bloody infuriating but you often can't do anything about. So, get good and mad, get it out of your system and then move on. You can take a horse to water, but sometimes that dumb animal will take a piss in it and then still drink it - what're you gonna do, eh?

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