Am I wrong to feel offended by...

Why do you think they use this pathetic software?? 

We could start our own forum way better than this within a few minutes using PHP. 

This forum is full of danger guys

Not exactly fit for purpose - the owners, admin have been warned by concerned onlookers but they just ignore those warnings. This forum is a Dangerous Place. Really not good for autistics I’m any way. It’s harmful for people on the spectrum. 

Im sure you have noticed many of the issues. Trust me - admin have been told but they just ignore.

This forum is totally out of control. 

To be honest i am surprised at how this thing runs. Firstly there is no report to moderator function, secondly there seems to be no moderation. I am a member and moderator of an electronics forum. It runs SMF software, if anyone has a concern they click a report to moderator link on the post in question and all moderators get an email. i am in the UK, the site owner is in Australia so we have virtual 24 hour coverage, spammers last from minutes to a couple of hours tops and arguments are intervened into very quikly and settled.

I also find the general running of this forum odd. The multhread nature of erm, threads is confusing. I never understand forums that allow threads in threads. It's confusing and unless you get a proper notification of each reply you will never find it. I had to hunt for yours. I don't get this latest fad and fosion for forums. Decades old software like SMF and phpBB and all the others are single thread, you have clear sections and each topic is a single thread making the dicussion clearer and keeps things on topic. Yes it means you need a seperate site install for these (free) forum systems because they run as their own entity but I take that insignificant drawback as a non issue when I see the utter mess people make by having a forum integrated into their main site template or worse use the awful stuff that gets integrated into wordpress.

A forum is quite a complex beast of it's own, to have it integrated into the main site is madness. I also note that this forum is very slow at times. The one i moderate while not being massive runs across 3 different servers in order to remain stable and responsive.

It happened to me once in an office job I had.  I was doing the job well, too.  Never any complaints.  In fact I used to get phone calls and letters from satisfied customers thanking me for my help.  But then I was switched to another section with very little warning, and with no proper reason given.  I was just told that I was needed to cover the role temporarily and I was the best experienced to handle it.  But then the person who took over my old job left after a while, and instead of returning me they took someone else on to do it.  I left shortly afterwards myself.  Who knows what their reasoning is with these things.  So yes, I would feel upset by it. 

i am confused as to why this forum seems to have no report function and very little or no moderation (I am a forum moderator elsewhere, a certain person would have been banned by now if this discussion was happening under my control).

I'd be offended. If there is something wrong with what you do they should at least explain. No NT's don't seem to give a stuff about what is right just what they want. I don't think autistic people are self obsessed as someone else insists. Many of my NT collegues are self obsessed to the point that things are not done as they should be because an NT had a hissy fit. Our office kettle that granted was purchased by us so not company property still falls under the PAT testing policy. It was condemed but has been left "untested" because the person that made the actual purchase on our behalf (without asking anyone because he is a self obsessed NT) threw a hissy fit and put up a portrayal of being deeply offended that the kettle was condemed.

I am usually in trouble at work because I am being selfless and trying to have stuff done right for the benefit of the company but no one cares. i have come to he conclusion that both my directors are autistic as they have 0 people skills and cannot run the company internally to save their lives and everyone does as they please.

i am on the hunt for a new job.

Totally agreed, I actually think we are not selfish or self centered. Well explained.

It's sad that people have been upset by the conflict on this thread. The issue over what is autism, is actually related to Greg's problem, but not in the way BlueRay believes. This thread prompted me to research the etymology of the word autism, and although aut does mean self, ism means a state of being. Put them together and you have "a state of being oneself" Non autistics mould their personalities and behaviour to fit into the groups they are in, autisics have an essential "self" they cannot really change. We are not selfish or self centered - while we can mimic NT behaviour, we're not linked into the web of NT non verbal communication. I do not know why Greg's management chose to assign his work to someone else, but it may be that some people he had to interact with felt more comfortable dealing with the person who is now doing that task. From what I have read, NTs more often make decisions based on personal relationships/interactions rather than performance/information. They also learn differently, in a "forest first" approach, whereas we build up knowledge from details. I would feel offended though in that scenario.

Hello Community Users,

We have noticed that there has been some upset caused by some comments made in this thread.

The community forum is a space for users to share their thoughts and feelings, but we would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of rule 4 of our community:

"Be nice to one another and enjoy chatting with others. We encourage conversation and respectful debate; however, insulting posts or comments making personal jibes will not be tolerated."

Thanks,

Ayshe Mod

Errmm Wavey.. why have you upvoted someone's intention to commit suicide!! Crikey!

I am considerably older than thirty eight, but thanks for the compliment ....

Thanks - I do feel I need a manual and/or translation... maybe we can get Google translate to include a Neurotypical <> Neurodiverse option? 

Former Member Honestly? I think you've completely misunderstood that article.

For a start it's framed as a question, not a statement: "Autism – ‘autos’: literally, a total focus on the self?"

Then it talks about 'self-focus' rather than 'self-obsession', being focussed on yourself - essentially on something you can control.

It also rolls out the old saw that Autists aren't interested in other people because "they don't have empathy..." which I think is now widely discredited and there's a good argument that we have too much empathy which contributes to sensory/emotional overload.

The original (Kanner) derivation of 'Autism' from 'Autos' = 'Self' was related to the fact that the patients deemed to be 'Autistic' seemed happier when not forced to engage with others... again, I think this 'withdrawal' is exactly that - moving away from the stress and overload that interaction with others brings rather than 'toward' the self.

A bacteria that moved away from an acidic environment that it found 'harmful' would be described as 'acidophobic' but it would be inaccurate to infer that it was 'alkaliphilic' i.e. movement away from one thing does not infer an attraction to its opposite.

Self-obsession is being "excessively preoccupied with one's own life and circumstances; thinking only about oneself."

That's not what SciFiGreg has described.

He's saying "I feel like I've been treated unfairly and I'm pissed off about it... and it's being made worse by people suggesting I just 'get over it'..."

The article you refer to says in the conclusion:

"People with AS may have trouble empathising, which imprisons them inside their own self, but they are frequently highly moral individuals, who think deeply about how – in novelist Nick Hornby’s words – to be good. Through their good logic, they typically have a strong sense of justice, for others as well as for the self.

I'd argue that it's Greg's sense of injustice that's been triggered and this is difficult to 'get over' - I have the same issue i.e. when what is 'right' or 'fair' is ignored for the sake of convenience or 'politics' or simple incompetence it drives me nuts... that's not me being self-obsessed, it's me being frustrated that things aren't how they should be and no-one else seeming to care.

A Field Guide To Earthlings

Are you under 38 by any chance?? 

Can you suggest some books please Former Member?

Not the obvious stuff e.g. anything by Temple Grandin

What I liked about NeuroTribes is that it tracks the development of the diagnosis/identification of Autism and how things have changed i.e. no (usually) longer consigned to insane asylums and given electric shock therapy.

It doesn't tackle what it means to be Autistic and so for that reason I don't think whether it was written by someone NT or ND matters.

The remark by the black sherriff in Blazing Saddles is quite relevant to that reply ....and I don't expect you to understand the relevance of that either.

Thank you but it’s ok, I’m leaving. I’ll repeat what I’ve said to the others because yes, I am self obsessed, I am not mildly autistic, I am full on autistic, I fit the description perfectly, I am autistic and although I didn’t pick up on it before and I thought it was funny, I get it now, I don’t belong here. Thank you and I’m sorry for any harm caused, I don’t have that strength or the ability to monitor my every word so I’ll leave and if this day continues this way, you might get really lucky and I might never have the chance to come here again, which would at least keep you guys happy and I’d rather do that than live in a lonely world where I’m not welcome anywhere. I really do apologise. 

Don’t worry, you all might just get lucky. I’ve just come through one suicidal episode, maybe not being accepted, even in the autism community, might just be the trigger that makes me successful. Keep your fingers crossed that something upsets me today and you might hit jack pot ~ blueray, the self obsessed, clearly severely autistic but unconditionally loving autistic person has finally departed this earth plane, then you can all say, thank god.

I get the message, thank you for spelling it out for me, I really do appreciate that, I really am autistic so I honestly don’t pick up on this ***, but you spelled it out loud and clear and I’m autistic but not sTupi d, I can understand I’M NOT WELCOME! I get it  Thank you