Social Skills - What do you think?

I guess the bottom fell out of the Lego market.  All those bricks not worth anything anymore without mortar :-D.

There's also a huge manipulation of these figures to make things seem worse than they are. Even my daughter has been told she is in poverty according to the current metrics.

The numbers are total BS - since when did a first time buyer get a mid-priced property as their first move?

I hear people whinging all the time about house prices but they all have i-Phones and expensive trainers and new cars. Young people today live in a fantasy entitled facebook world where they expect everything for nothing without any effort of commitment.

I worked with a young guy who was bleating all the time about how hard it all was until I showed him what we started out with and what he could realistically afford - if he wanted to. Unfortunately, he valued his trinkets more than his future stability.

I don’t have neither hopes nor fears about money, and just because the majority of other people do, it doesn’t inspire me to get so obsessed about it as well. Let them get on with it, I say, but I’ll skip that particular obsession. I love making money, don’t get me wrong and I love the extra freedoms that it gives you but it’s not something I worry about or hope for. And I don’t define myself in any way by how much money I have or don’t have. I rarely do fall in to categories that has the biggest mass opinion though, so I’m not surprised that I’m not like the masses on the issue of finances. It never seems to make people happy when they worry and it never seems to change their situation either, so I could never figure out why they bothered ‍♀️An nt thing maybe? 

Yes.  I should have been clearer on that point.  I didn't mean that the UK housing market was a sub-prime bubble waiting to explode.  Young people nowadays see 'property ownership' not so much as something to aspire to, but as a basic requirement of establishing a foothold in the world (goodness knows why, but there it is).  And with even small flats rising in price beyond the reach of many, the days of house-price inflation are surely numbered. 

I was looking at the results of some polls conducted before Christmas into people's hopes and fears for the future.  Money is the main worry (though when has it ever been otherwise?)  Polls don't necessarily tell us very much, of course.  But anyway...

* 37% of people expected their household finances to worsen in 2019

* 31% of British people - and 50% of those aged between 18 and 24 - believe they won't be able to clear their debts during their lifetime

* 32% of Britain's workers have less than £500 in savings, and 41% have less than £1,000.

* The average debt per worker (excluding mortgages) is over £7,000.

It's not going to do that in this country - it's going to just run out of steam. Then all the grossly overpriced rubbish will have to adjust down to it's true value so there will be lots of 'sky is falling' predictions but, around here especially, nothing will happen.

The out-lying areas will have to drop their prices if they want to sell but it will really just self-regulate depending on the buyers.

Absolutely.  And all everyone kept saying was 'Who bets against housing?  Everyone has to have somewhere to live.'  The ratings agencies, too, were complicit.  They gave these sub-prime bonds Triple A ratings when they were practically worthless.  Because they were in competition with one another, and they didn't want to lose business.  Everyone was just sucked into it, and no one believed it could go wrong.

When's it going to happen here, I wonder?

Maybe billionaires buying up properties in London will inflate prices enormously there, which will have knock-ons that radiate out from the capital... but it can't keep going indefinitely, because there aren't enough billionaires!

Where I live, in the south-east (just over an hour's commute from the capital), property prices have risen 10% in just a couple of years.  This town was always known as a retirement town: wealthy pensioners moved here, to be by the sea, and not-so-wealthy pensioners occupied one of its dozens and dozens of residential and nursing homes. 

Now it's known for its gentrification schemes and its influx of well-off professionals who can't afford to live in London any longer, but can afford to live here and commute.  New-build flats are going for upwards of £300k.  Less than 20 years ago, you could buy a nice 2-bedroomed bungalow in a sought-after part of town for around £60k.  Now, you're looking at over £300k.  Have wages quintupled in that time?

Because of the high concentration of 'retirement' homes, a large proportion of the workforce (including myself) is employed in low-paid care work.  The council has capped housing benefit, so it's getting harder and harder for someone like myself to live here.  Fortunately, because of my condition (which is being regarded as a disability) I've managed to get on the social housing register.  But the stock is really low, thanks to 'Right to Buy' and lack of investment in the sector.

This has knocked-on to us from the next town up the line from us, nearer to London.  That's now Hipster-ville, full of art galleries, antique shops - and, of course, estate agents.  The next town down the line from here is now feeling the effect, too.  Rents have gone up in line with house prices, and what would have cost £400 a couple of years ago is now over £500.

So... where are the low-paid workers to live?

How soon before that all comes tumbling down, too?

I travel to the US a lot - I predicted the bubble burst too - I made a load of cash from shares collapsing.

It was so obvious it was going to happen. Lending huge sums of money to people who clearly couldn't pay it back.

The reason was US pensions are a lot more self-driven in the US - people were encouraged into buying property off-plan with low-start mortgages with the promise of selling their option before the house was even built and pulling a huge profit of the increased value.

It looked so good that people overstretched themselves and bought 2 or 3, financially stretching themselves for a couple of years knowing they were going to make a load of cash.

All good so far...

Then brokers started telling lies on mortgage forms - Miguel the gardener was now a brain surgeon on the form to get the low start mortgage - he could afford the $500 per month discounted rate.

Then the time came to sell the options - and everyone tried to sell at the same time - the prices collapsed and the people were stuck with their options.

Then the low-start discounts ended and no-one could afford to pay the massive full payments.

Miguel's mortgage jumped to $2000 and he defaulted - along with everyone else.

Suddenly, the entire mortgage system fell flat. There was no real money left - it was all defaulted.

Crash!

You could plot is on the crazy artificial house inflation in 2004 a 4-bed house in Fl = 160k, 2003 = 250k, 2004 = 350k, 2005 = 420k, 2006 = 450k, 2007 = 480k, 2008 = 200k. Lots of burnt fingers.

I can see what you’re saying. But I see it differently. ((I’m not saying I’m right and your wrong, nothing of the kind)), I just see it a different way. 

If I’m in a situation where 99 people do it one way and I do it another, I see that as a possibility and an opportunity of finding a new way of doing something, for the 99, if my thing works out better than theirs. And if not, I learn a new way. So either way, it’s a win win situation. 

I only see an issue if I choose to believe the 99 and stop believing in myself and as a consequence, I don’t do what I was going to do. I see that as an issue and one that I’ve had to face. 

There have been times in my life, pre diagnosis, where, for whatever reason I have I given my power away. I’ve believed what the other people are saying or doing and I’ve stopped believing in myself. 

I don’t see it as an ‘issue’ as such though. Because these such incidents are what lead me to my diagnosis really, where I could really know myself and believe in myself. I don’t rail against anything, it’s more that I move towards something, which for me, is always the truth. And I don’t care if I’m ‘right’ or ‘wring’ because either way I win. I cement what I know or I learn something new. 

So I can see what you’re saying. I just see it in a different way. I don’t know why? I just do ‍♀️

Another fine example from recent history is Dr Michael Burry - the investment analyst who, back in around 2006, first noticed the time-bomb ticking away in the sub-prime mortgage bonds market.  He ploughed over a billion dollars of his own and his investors' money into shorting the housing market, firmly believing that it was all going to come tumbling down very soon.  Everyone disagreed with him.  Everyone was against him.  Investors tried to withdrawn their money.  People threatened to sue.  But he insisted that everyone was wrong - the US Treasury, Alan Greenspan, the investment banks... everyone.

And he was right.

And we've been living with the effects of the sub-prime collapse ever since.

(Burry, incidentally, is an Aspie!)

Lol ~ I’ve just looked up what that word ‘sophistry’ means. That’s wild lol! Very interesting 

It’s not about having a Teflon coating, so much as, seeing the truth ~ we are never upset for the reasons we think. We need one or two techniques that we can use, to shine the light of truth on any situation and we see that nobody actually ever does anything to us, we do it to ourselves. 

Feeling bad, as you call it, is a great thing ~ in my eyes. I love to feel bad ~ it’s a direct clue to let me know  that something is off in my life, either I need to eat or drink or I’m thinking repetitive negative thoughts or I need some sleep or I don’t really like to be in that person’s company, or whatever. It’s my treasured little compass that I use to point me back north, to get me back on track to happiness and peace.

I would never feel bad just because somebody else thinks something bad of me and if I did, I would question that. I would ask, is it true what they are saying about me? How do I react when I believe what they’re saying? Can I think of a stress free reason to keep that thought, to keep on believing that, that person’s thoughts about me, in that moment, mean that I really am what they say, and that I’ll be that for the rest of my life, so I have to feel bad forever. I would question it all. If I feel bad, there’s only one person responsible, and that’s me ~ apart from that time I was with the narcissist and he somehow transferred his thoughts to me!

Maybe that’s what’s happening, normal nt’s are doing to you what the narcissist did to me? But the good news is, I sussed all that out and got over it. Although I did have to go no contact which would mean you would have to go no contact with all nt’s! Could be an option! It’s more or less my world right now ;) 

Heh, sophistry - I mean much as I'd rather not feel bad, I've never developed a teflon coating.

Well, I was thinking of mentioning that developing a 'persona' as an eccentric also works well but (a) it depends on one's own personality (b) it depends on your social environment - I work in academia/arts where eccentricity is considered a good thing (think you're in STEM where it's also well tolerated) and (c) it depends on social expectations of your gender - NT men often resent a woman with a 'big' personality. 

Also, oddly, I found this easier when I was younger and more 'bohemian'. They say that older women are expected to be eccentric but, actually, I don't find this really is the case - people seem to be expecting a blander, more professionalised persona from me these days. It might work again when I retire, who knows. In short, it's a very positional strategy which may not be widely available.

Same ;) 

I apologise Former Memberif I have mislead you in any way, or I wasn’t clear in what I have said ~ I would never say we shouldn’t let others make us feel bad - who am I to say what a person should or shouldn’t do? If a person wants to allow somebody else to make them feel bad, I’m not going to object to that, each to their own. 

I'm 62 now, I've studied psychology, taken courses in active listening, had a therapist who really helped me understand my own head, and I've worked like hell to be able to camouflage effectively but, for me, it's no more 'natural' now than when I was blundering around ignorantly in my teens and 20s wondering why the hell the world was such a hostile place.

It never comes naturally but I think it's worth trying to learn how to fake it when necessary and also to moderate things like my need for everything to be exactly as I left it or for everyone to think strategically and be efficiently goal-orientated. I can't be flipping out because someone used my stapler and put it back in the wrong drawer, puts the wrong lid on a saucepan, or doesn't nest the bowls properly.  It *does* radically improve the experience of having to be in the world even if it's always going to be a gargantuan effort.

It's still completely exhausting getting myself onto a train or a plane and not leave my bag somewhere. Work is a grinding, stressful, marathon. But I'm really grateful that I'm able to work at all.

Having said all that, there's balance in all things and it's equally - more - important to develop a sense of self-worth that doesn't hang on being as much like everyone else as possible. I keep it really clear in my mind that camouflage has specific goals and isn't about who I am.

I use several techniques for lowering expectations

Probably inappropriate, but this phrase made me laugh out loud with the images created in my head. Like Black Adder with the pants on his head and pencils up the nose..

I use several techniques for lowering expectations