Social Skills - What do you think?

I prefer to just think about it this way. Starting Point: I'm different. Therefore, my social skills will be different. It's not that I'm necessarily lacking social skills, I just have a different set of social skills and how I go about using them. Sure, I can try to make a bit of effort to bridge the gap with other people who have a different set of social skills to me, but if they're not willing to put in any effort in bridging the gap then I'm not particularly bothered. Instead of telling me how I should talk, communicate or behave, accept the way I do talk, communicate and behave, which will likely lead to some progress. As far as I'm concerned I manage just fine so anybody that tells me differently must be the one with the problem.

I don't care if people want to make comments that I'm doing something wrong, because for me it's the right thing to do. Therefore, I'm not the one doing anything wrong, I'm just doing it differently.

I suppose it's like the idea of computers running different operating systems and software. In order to interface there needs to be something to bridge that gap so that communication between the different operating systems and software can take place.

I couldn’t agree more Shadow, well said ~ I would have taken 10 pages just to say that and it wouldn’t have made sense! Lol! 

I agree, too.  The issue we face, of course - as with all minorities - is that because our way of doing something is 'rare', then it's 'wrong'.  This isn't true, of course.  But if you're in a situation where you have, say, 99 people who know how to do something the same way, and 1 person who does it in a different way, the majority are always going to see the different way as the wrong way.  And they have all that back-up to 'prove' it.

But then, without people doing things differently, we'd never have innovations.  We'd never have had things like Turing's code-breaking computer.  We'd never have solutions to problems - just more and more people moaning about the problems!

I always rail against that old saying 'Go with the flow'.

As far as I'm concerned, if you 'go with the flow' you'll end up on the rocks sooner or later!

But mortgages are for 25 years (or more) - that's for ever for most people. My first house was a large 3-bed for 70k in 1989 - that's over 400k now - 600% growth.

That's providing all stays good, of course - job security maintained, income maintained, house prices maintained, health maintained, financial system maintained, professional skill set which will always be in demand and carry a premium rate of pay.  What's life without some level of risk, though?  Depends how well placed you are to manage the risk, I suppose.

I wonder, too, how many people before the crash thought it was all going to carry on alright.  I mean, mortgages after all.  What could be safer?  Those greedy b******s knew what was happening, but they carried on anyway.  Because they knew the financial system would never be allowed to fail.  They knew they'd be bailed out.

And the likes of Michael Burry and his investors made fat sums of money out of busting the big banks.  And people lost homes and jobs.

Personally, I'm less optimistic about where things are heading. 

As with Brexit, I guess... everyone's got an opinion, but nobody really knows...

option 1 - buy house at, say 3-bed semi 300k - pay mortgage - live in house, own it after 25 years

option 2 - buy bigger house, say 4 bed detached - pay interest only for 25 years, sell up, pay off mortgage and buy 3-bed semi with profit.

same end result - but in one route you lived in a big house for 25 years.

'Run out of steam' was how you put it.

£20k salary.  That would be nice.  Never got close in 40-odd years of work - not even in relative terms.  I guess it depends on what you do.  I remember when I was a recruiter for Microsoft Dynamics, I'd get guys in their 20s turning their noses up at £35k salaries.  Probably quite understandably, if they've done the work and got the skills.  IBM were regularly recruiting young people for in excess of 100k Euros p.a.  Again - good for them if they've studied and worked hard, and have got the knowledge and skills.  If that's what the market says they're worth, then they've gone into the right field.

It does depend, of course, on the field you go into.  The senior Behaviour Manager at the charity I work for is university-trained.  She has a hugely responsible job.  She could earn more in the private sector, probably, but she wants to work in the charity sector.  She's on around £28k, after 14 years working her way up.

Interest-only mortgage would be great - as long as, at the end of the period, the property is worth more than when you bought it, and your repayment vehicle performs well.  And who knows?

Consumerism bounces off me too - if i can't afford what I want then i don't need it badly enough.

I think it's probably based on what people think they should be able to afford, or be entitled to.  Young people especially are bombarded with adverts for things that they really (so the advertisers want them to believe) can't live without.  They see their friends with these things, so they must have them too.  It's how the whole system works - drag them onto that treadmill, get them spending money they often don't have.  A lot of young people I know live far beyond their means - earning what I earn, but feeling the need (quite naturally) to buy fashionable clothes, go out with friends, have gadgets.  Keep up, in other words.  It costs money to maintain that kind of lifestyle.  It's never particularly bothered me, either - as long as I don't get into debt.  I worry about not having money at all - about the day arising when something expensive comes up and I don't have anything to cover it.  I'll find a way around it because I'll have no choice.  At the same time, though, I've never been pulled into that buy buy buy system.  It's all just stuff.  It's meaningless.

The money first time buyers can generate is always compared to average property prices (3-bed semis), not the first houses or flats that they will be buying which are much cheaper. They could always get a fixer-upper but that requires skill & effort and they lack one or both.

150k is only £300 per month, 100% mortgage, interest only.

Bank of mum and dad is being tapped out - most kids go to uni these days under the illusion that they'll never pay the 50k back - but it's growing at 6% so if they don't pay a penny back, it's up to 300k by the time they're 51.

Do they seriously think that they'll never get above 20k salary in their lifetime?

Why will it run out of steam with somewhere between 300k and 1m arrivals every year? They all need to be housed.

I see how Thatcher's 'back to Victorian Values' quote really meant multi-generation housing and only one person working for a pittance.

Relative poverty?  That's what I told I'm in - with a net income of £12k per annum, little savings, no property.  I don't feel impoverished - but in the sense of the metrics they use, and judged against average living standards (whatever they are) I'm assessed as being in financial poverty.

My biggest fear is debt, having been brought up under the shadow of it.  I hope I'll always manage.  But yes... I fear having no money.  I suppose it's different if you have a nice little sum to fall back on if the fat hits the shin.  I've never been in that position, so I tread a fine line.  If my health gives out, I'll have no choice but to rely on state benefits.

Well, to be fair... not many iPhones, trainers and cars cost hundreds of thousands of pounds - but I take the general point you're making.

Future stability in property?  Not according to some of the personal bankruptcies I used to handle.

Where does it mention anything about first-time buyers buying mid-priced property?  Even a one-bedroomed flat around here is £150k.  No good for a couple planning to have a family, of course.  Property prices are crazy - unless you live in a poorer, or less sought-after area.  The sooner it all runs out of steam, as you say, the better.

I guess there's always the bank of mum and dad, of course.

Ba-Boom-tish.

I guess the bottom fell out of the Lego market.  All those bricks not worth anything anymore without mortar :-D.

There's also a huge manipulation of these figures to make things seem worse than they are. Even my daughter has been told she is in poverty according to the current metrics.

There's also a huge manipulation of these figures to make things seem worse than they are. Even my daughter has been told she is in poverty according to the current metrics.

Relative poverty?  That's what I told I'm in - with a net income of £12k per annum, little savings, no property.  I don't feel impoverished - but in the sense of the metrics they use, and judged against average living standards (whatever they are) I'm assessed as being in financial poverty.

My biggest fear is debt, having been brought up under the shadow of it.  I hope I'll always manage.  But yes... I fear having no money.  I suppose it's different if you have a nice little sum to fall back on if the fat hits the shin.  I've never been in that position, so I tread a fine line.  If my health gives out, I'll have no choice but to rely on state benefits.

Ba-Boom-tish.

I guess the bottom fell out of the Lego market.  All those bricks not worth anything anymore without mortar :-D.