Do people look at you as though they know you're odd

Yes. 

I never knew why. Just - obviously 'I was different'.

At least you have kids! 

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Yes they do but then again I do look pretty weird

Clothes are armour - what you wear and how you wear it makes a difference to how vulnerable you look.

Sounds good to me! Clothes are like camoflage & I often find that I feel completely different depending on the way that I dress.

Also, as everyone that has ever worn a suit to a job interview knows, most people make assumptions based on what you wear, so varying your style of dress is an easy way to influence other people's perceptions of you as well.

I certainly hope so!

I now dress in clothes that represent who I want to be, I feel most comfortable in and I feel confident in them,

victorian or country gent, jacket waist coat, pocket watch, twin Albert chain( google it) polished old style leather shoes, peaked hat, braces, collarless shirts, small pair of reading glasses perched on the end of my nose.

I do get looks yes, but mostly I am told how well turned out I am, 

I dress how I want to after thirty odd years dressing to fit, 

If and when I feel really brave and have found true confidence and belief in myself I will wear hippie style clothes, I buy them and often wear them at weekends at home, so colourful and light, sensory as well, Society is cruel however, having the strength to wear clothes like this takes grit and self belief, not there quite yet, but working in it. 

Just wish I could get pictures to post on here, NAS says don’t post personal details or pictures of yourself, surely if I cut my head off then all will be fine? Lol. 

Yes I constantly look for affirmation, I have suffered all my life struggling to fit and not succeeding, being me is a real new challenge, 

I love colour and texture in clothing, men’s clothing is boring , plain, scruffy looking, short baggy shorts and trainers yuk, 

I don't see how I can do otherwise.  When I'm at work, I'm back in an environment which includes someone who has created a lot of problems for me.  My anxiety then goes up several notches.  It only dissipates when I know she's either off the premises, or when I go home.  There's not really much I can control about that situation - except through the support measures I'm already getting.  I can't 'change' that feeling, unless I take something like diazepam to quell the anxiety. 

This woman encouraged me from the start by taking a real interest in my condition, and saying she 'understood' it and 'got' it.  No one else there had said that to me.  She asked me how it had affected me in life, and if I'd experienced bullying - which I said I had.  She seemed genuinely sympathetic about this.  So it encouraged trust and confidence.  I thought 'At least there's one colleague here I can talk to.'

And then she trounces all over that.  Takes the knowledge and uses it against me.  Betrayal.

I wear mostly t shirts and jeans, not many dresses are in my wardrobe. I also don’t brush my hair all that often. I try not to touch my hair, it feels really strange to me and last year I accidentally scratched my hair and skin causing it to bleed. Now I do what I’m comfortable with and it works well for me. I sometimes wear dresses for special occasions but very rarely.

I'm the same. I like clothes to be comfy. I've never liked girly clothes. My mum used to try and make me but gave up pretty early on.

I think they ask partly because I'm never in a relationship either. I just don't have interest in stuff like that. I find people too hard to have a proper relationship and I'm happy by myself so I don't see any issue with that.

Eh, what?

That sounds like what my father used to say: dress more in a feminin way, won't you?

It wasn't really happening then or now.

These days I wear oversized hoodies and jogging pants. If I have to go somewhere I'll wear jeans, and an oversized hoodie.

Things like questioning my sexuality and gender identity because I don't dress as females my age typically do.

Yes. I will explode if I pull back any further. I just want to connect?

Yes. I am so old I should have kids. But I do not.

Yes.

You know that look - that raise of the eyebrows that others do that says - 'You are not like we'?

I cry and scream that I could be.

I do not fit into them... noew I feel , like Caba, I AM HEWRE WITH YOU?

Please help

What do they ask?

It can be really off putting as well. It makes me feel like I don't want to go out because I'm scared of people looking at me like I don't belong in the world.

I've tried to point out the problem with what they say. Problem is they see nothing wrong with what they say and neither do others around them. What is happening now isn't intended as bullying as it was when I was at school. They see it as I'm different so its my fault not theirs. They often say well you have to understand why we would ask. Well no actually I don't understand. Just because I don't fit the norm doesn't mean people should just be able to pick apart my personality.

It wouldn't amount to anything if you were to bully them back, but why accept such behaviour?

I think I was physically quite fast to react, and verbally strong. As far as I can remember noone bullied me.

But I had massive problems with a colleague at work who singled me out and really bothered me. Once you're no longer a child, hitting the other person isn't acceptable anymore.

love it!  I love people that have their own sense of style. At least you have pleasant manners to hello to someone and others will appreciate that even if that lady didn't. 

People have never made sense to me. Watching the kids I work with now though. When I see them making hurtful comments to others (usually those more vulnerable than themselves), I think there is a huge element of them doing it to feel better about themselves. If only they could realise the lasting impact of their comments.

The thing that gets me is the people I know that make comments now - they generally don't seem meant to be hurtful. But some of the judgement I see in these comments still really stings. Especially as they know me, so they're not just seeing the weird kid people saw at school. But because I don't fit the norm, they see it as ok to judge me. If I were ever to do it back it would be completely unacceptable, so why is it ok for them to do it to me.

Martian Tom I think you're maybe also hyperfocussing on that person?