Why do I care so much about what people think, why do I want to be liked by everyone but think that no-one does. Why do I trust people but at the same time trust no-one. Why do I want to love but at the same time am unable to feel it. Why do I have no compassion but know when I should be compassionate. And by god why do I dwell on thing sooo much that I end up making *** up that didn’t happen but could happen? Sorry if I’m rambling just confused with what goes on I’m my head
Also last week I was diagnosed with aspergers and I’ve noticed other aspies seem to have a talent or a passion ie computing, maths or engineering yet I have none.
It sounds like you've got a lot of thoughts at the moment. What I'm getting from this is that you're in pain. You want to be accepted, and loved, but are afraid of getting hurt, and that fear is cancelling all the other emotions out. You're not able to love and feel because you're overwhelmed by this fear that it could all go wrong, that something won't be right, and that you might end up getting hurt - so instead, not being able to love and feel is like a defence mechanism that protects you from hurting more. I know what that feels like, and I know that several others feel that same way. It's a confusing situation for sure.
But the first step you need to take is to forgive yourself. Accept that what has happened is in the past, and that you need to give yourself a chance to try again. Learn to love yourself, and to love the things that you care about most in life. And about having a passion or talent, that's not necessarily true. Most have something that have serious interest in, but it isn't always a talent or passion as such. The best way to find out yours is to try things - go around, and try things to see what works for you. Soon enough, you'll find something that you enjoy and want to be great at!x
Much love <3
Let your head breathe a little..
i feel like a weed and have to find my own quite spaces to grow and exist. A weed is just an unloved or misunderstood flower...not good enough for the flower bed so existing in the cracks
“When life is not coming up rosesLook to the weedsand find the beauty hidden within them.” ― L.F.Young
You are YOU.. be you and try to stay centred and true to yourself. I teach geeks and have done so for nearly twenty years.. it is not a special talent, just comfort and predictability with something that is familiar.
congratulations on your diagnosis and be mindful that it will take time to process.
p.s no Bill and Ben memes please :)
Us nerdy aspies were lucky enough to find our niche in life at an early enough age to indulge in it - I'm particularly nerdy to the max - but I'm absolutely, totally useless with people. I have almost zero people skills.
In most of my jobs, I've been lucky enough to be able to work mostly on my own - my rules, my way, my space, my tools, my workbench/desk, my computer etc.etc.
I cannot fathom people's motives at all - as far as I can tell, most people are users and abusers. I trust no-one. I hope they just stay away and leave me alone.
It sounds like you just need to sit back and self-analyse and think about where you fit - what's your special interest? Everyone has one - or maybe you just haven't stumbled onto yours yet.
You're newly diagnosed so your brain will be in melt-down mode trying to process what it all means. Mine was 10 years ago and it's a lot to get your head around - I'm still discovering thngs about myself and my strengths and my horrible social weaknesses.
This is a lovely response and very helpful. Thank you
But I want to be a flower pot man lol. No seriously another gd response, thank you
You’re defintely out of the flower pot now Jason. Give yourself time and kindness
I like this, now I know I’m an aspie, I need to grow but unfortunately my living arrangement right now won’t allow it. I think I’m stuck in the dark flower pot lol
Beware the terracotta army... lol
so are you going to weed by stealth? A dandelion in a world of daffodils.... sssshhhh.
Daffodils is funny, my wife and inlaws are welsh lol. No gonna supress my growth until I’m in my own house