Published on 12, July, 2020
Why do I care so much about what people think, why do I want to be liked by everyone but think that no-one does. Why do I trust people but at the same time trust no-one. Why do I want to love but at the same time am unable to feel it. Why do I have no compassion but know when I should be compassionate. And by god why do I dwell on thing sooo much that I end up making *** up that didn’t happen but could happen? Sorry if I’m rambling just confused with what goes on I’m my head
Also last week I was diagnosed with aspergers and I’ve noticed other aspies seem to have a talent or a passion ie computing, maths or engineering yet I have none.
Hi Jason,
It sounds like you've got a lot of thoughts at the moment. What I'm getting from this is that you're in pain. You want to be accepted, and loved, but are afraid of getting hurt, and that fear is cancelling all the other emotions out. You're not able to love and feel because you're overwhelmed by this fear that it could all go wrong, that something won't be right, and that you might end up getting hurt - so instead, not being able to love and feel is like a defence mechanism that protects you from hurting more. I know what that feels like, and I know that several others feel that same way. It's a confusing situation for sure.
But the first step you need to take is to forgive yourself. Accept that what has happened is in the past, and that you need to give yourself a chance to try again. Learn to love yourself, and to love the things that you care about most in life. And about having a passion or talent, that's not necessarily true. Most have something that have serious interest in, but it isn't always a talent or passion as such. The best way to find out yours is to try things - go around, and try things to see what works for you. Soon enough, you'll find something that you enjoy and want to be great at!x
Much love <3
This is a lovely response and very helpful. Thank you