Published on 12, July, 2020
Why do I care so much about what people think, why do I want to be liked by everyone but think that no-one does. Why do I trust people but at the same time trust no-one. Why do I want to love but at the same time am unable to feel it. Why do I have no compassion but know when I should be compassionate. And by god why do I dwell on thing sooo much that I end up making *** up that didn’t happen but could happen? Sorry if I’m rambling just confused with what goes on I’m my head
Also last week I was diagnosed with aspergers and I’ve noticed other aspies seem to have a talent or a passion ie computing, maths or engineering yet I have none.
Us nerdy aspies were lucky enough to find our niche in life at an early enough age to indulge in it - I'm particularly nerdy to the max - but I'm absolutely, totally useless with people. I have almost zero people skills.
In most of my jobs, I've been lucky enough to be able to work mostly on my own - my rules, my way, my space, my tools, my workbench/desk, my computer etc.etc.
I cannot fathom people's motives at all - as far as I can tell, most people are users and abusers. I trust no-one. I hope they just stay away and leave me alone.
It sounds like you just need to sit back and self-analyse and think about where you fit - what's your special interest? Everyone has one - or maybe you just haven't stumbled onto yours yet.
You're newly diagnosed so your brain will be in melt-down mode trying to process what it all means. Mine was 10 years ago and it's a lot to get your head around - I'm still discovering thngs about myself and my strengths and my horrible social weaknesses.