need advice

Hi Monkey,

Did you look at the fedup website? One of the reasons I ask is that you mentioned that your son likes smoothies. I expect that these have a lot of fruit in them? The fedup site pushes the theory that a lot of fruits are a source of problems for some ASD people. At this point I can't say that their theory is right but I have found that there is a thing called "Oral Allergy Syndrome" that is a very real allergic type syndrome. If someone has this syndrome then it can basically play havoc with their intestines and I believe that this can cause such discomfort and upset to the body that it can lead to psychological symptoms.

I'm trying to work out if I have this and so far I seem to react quite badly to apples and some types of tomatoes. It seems that my reaction to apples is severe stomach cramps followed by my guts being paralysed for several days.

I also have a theory that some "fussy eating" arises because there is some genuine aversion to perhaps a chemical taste in some foods. This seems to me more reasonable than the person just randomly deciding not to eat X or Y.

I used the word "theory" a lot above. I don't want to suggest that there is a miracle cure but it seems to me that it wouldn't cost anything to try out the fedup exclusion diet and there is a possibility that it might work for some people like your son.

Thank you for comments.

My son at the moment has a basic school plan and will have an ina if needed but I think it will be quite quick for the school to realise he needs constant supervision. Ill definitely try the weighted therapy. I think ill also try headphones to cancel noise out as I took him to a restuarant 2day and had meltdown due to the noise although at first he tried so hard to cope I'm so proud of him. And recombinantsocks ill definitely look at that website and let you know what I think.

Hi monkey,

have you seen the advice on the NAS site about dealing with diet and fussy eating? Fussy eating is a common and very significant problem with ASD.

I'm curious to know what you think of the stuff at fedup.com.au They claim that some children can be improved by cutting out some things out of their diets.

Hi again - sounds like gd news that the eyp is going .  Has support been arranged for when he starts school - that's a big deal for any child, never mind an autistic 1? Without it he cd well struggle + become more distressed, as wd the whole family.  Sorry to sound so negative . The support shd also cover playtime, lunchtime etc, not just lessons. Do you think the school : teachers, TAs, etc, are autism aware, well trained in autism etc?   Imo, with weighted blankets etc it's best to try them out to see if your child will benefit.  Do you know an OT who wd be helpful?  My son tried a variety of weighted things + seemed to appreciate a blanket folded over across his knees as the best option.  Others like the vests or lap pads.  Some don't take to anything weighted at all.  Good luck with everything.

Also I have been looking at weighted therapy to help calm him down does anyone know if it actually works?

Hi thank you for comments.

Thankfully I've been told that the early years practitioner is only with us for a few more weeks then we are being transferred to a asd specialist practitioner. Unfortunately my son hits out alot which is not good as he is very tall and all muscle. But I have not thought about that if he is roaring then he is not hitting and even though I need to sort out the roaring I do find comfort in that he is not hitting. I think it would be good to work with him with the internal progress of not coping but how would I go about doing this? 

As to his diet I try to make it as healthy as I can but unfortunately when he was 2 he went through the typical toddler stage of being fussy a

nd ever since he is too scared to try new things. He generally eats jam sandwiches n breaded frozen meat for dinner. I give him grapes n smoothies to make his diet healthier and sweetcorn or beans with every dinner. Unfortunately he won't eat any other fruit or veg even though he used to when younger now he has a meltdown if you try to get him to try. Food with him is very frustrating for me as as a mother I obviously would love him to have a healthy diet.

Just a thought, and I'm aware that this is a controversial area where there are opinions on both sides...

What is his diet like? Does he have any favourite foods?

There are a couple of sets of people on the internet who claim that diet can make a difference to SOME autistic spectrum people. I wonder if you have heard about this?

Firstly, that seems like a perfectly good reason to have the early years practitioner replaced. You have to have confidence in those who are to support yourself and your son.

Now to the roaring. This is quite a difficult issue, that heavily impacts your family life. But while it looks like a very aggressive behavour it is in fact testament to his good nature: when driven to the edges of his evolope of tolerance he still chooses to express himself verbally; many others strike. Whereas he is to be congratulted for every instance in which he endures intolerable stress (and he certainly is even if it is currently unknown what the stressors are) without recourse to violence, he certainly needs help if he is to avoid a great deal of social exclusion.

First, after he has had a "meltdown" when he is calm but not so long after that he has forgotton the incident, pleasantly seek to establish what angered or hurt him. If you know his triggers you can try to eliminate them. Consider sound and smell as senses he might experience overloading. Cooking noise/odor, electrical hum, doorbells and phones...many things might be affecting his sensorium in ways you wouldnt expect. Log what is occuring when a "meltdown" occurs and look for patterns.

Second, can you help him express anger/frustration/pain more verbally than a roar. Perhaps you could teach him some milder expleetives so he has tools to express himself in ways that make more sense to those around him. I know teaching a child to swear seems extreem but he is likely to encounter these terms soon enough and they may prove a gateway to more effective self-expression.

Third, and this is where you and your son can really make progress in moderating his behavour: work with him to identify the internal process that culminates with being unable to cope with a stressful situation. If he can see the anger/pain rising then he can take steps to relieve himself before the situation becomes critical.

Fourth and Lastly, and without criticism, if you can get better at spoting the rage coming then you can help him remove himself from the situation as in option 3. It is not unlikely that he roars out of frustration that his previous signals of distress prove ineffective in requesting support from those around him.The practitioner really should be working on this stuff, get a new one and talk to that one about getting daily support as it is likely to be necessary to have two people availiable at all times so one can comfort the roaring child and one the sister. 

Pls bear in mind that 3+4 may prove dificult or impossible as the pain/rage may arise very strongly and suddenly, but it needs trying and 1+2 can and will help, take heart.

As an aside: what a berserker he would have made if society still valued such!

Hi there

Thank you for the welcome and comment. My son is verbal, he has sensory issues with loud noises, smell, taste and his personal space. He has alot of anger issues but he is very attached to me and seems to crave any touch from me. He was at nursery and loved it but about to start school. He has always roared alot but has got worse as he has gotten older. He does it at home and in other enviroments, nothing seems to set him off. He could be doing something nice and quiet and then just suddenly roar. I have just had diagnosis from peadiatrician and am waiting for an appointment for nurse to come see us. I also have an early years practioner come see us but she just frustrates me everytime I see her. Before diagnosis she said there was nothing wrong with him she basically thought he was a normal child with minor behavioural problems. Which makes no sense as he was classed as critical safety risk at nursery and couple of times had to evacuate due to his tantrums. Now he has a diagnosis she still tells me to treat him as a normal child because she doesn't want to admit she was wrong but the peadiatrician said actually he is high functioning but struggles alot and she doesn't think he will cope in main stream school.

Hi - welcome to the site.  Before you can calm him you need to know why he's getting so upset.  As he's recently diagnosed it's worth having a good look around this site (if you haven't already) to try to get some pointers about his reactions.  Also, if you tell us a bit more about him we may be able to help more.  Eg:  is he verbal, does he go to nursery + if so is he ok there, has he any sensory issues such as certain noises, tastes, textures etc, has he a set routine at home which he understands?  Things like that.  Also are you getting any help from professionals?  Would you be interested in talking to other parents in a position similar to yours for support?