Anxiety

That’s sounds very difficult for both of you - I’m sorry. Anxiety has been a problem for me in various ways for most of my life - I think it’s a common issue for autistic people. It’s worth bearing in mind that mental health issues have both an individual and collective element. So - for example - your daughter finds driving and listening to music makes her feel better (which is an individual matter) - but the high cost of petrol is a collective issue connected to the wider economy. Similarly your daughter is interested in the ‘science’ and data of true crime , but the prevalence of crime (true crime tv/internet and crime drama etc) is an issue of the wider culture. So you have to look at this broadly: what are your daughters individual needs and how can these be met without wider issues making her life harder. For example - you can’t reduce the cost of petrol - but is there another way your daughter can meet her need for music and movement that doesn’t cost so much money (ie hill walking, the gym, jogging with headphones and so on). Also her special interest in true crime might not be ideal for her mental health - could she move her interest towards something a bit less disturbing? Possibly psychology or biology for example? 
Personally I don’t think medication is helpful long term - as you don’t want her to become dependent (psychologically) on medication. There are so many ways to manage anxiety that she can try (meditation, exercise, developing a sense of purpose or a hobby or work of some kind that engages and satisfies her etc). There’s a lot to try that is more healthy long term than relying on medication. Getting enough sleep is important, less screen time late at night and so on. 
It’s important to work out what is really making your daughter anxious and address the root causes if you can. 
I think we have to look at our anxiety from every angle - it’s often complex and sometimes has its roots quite far back in our history (for example our experiences in school. 
I wish you both luck - it’s very difficult and from my own experience I’ve found that it’s something you have to learn to manage but it’s not an easy one to tackle at any age. At least she has a mother who really cares and wants to help - that’s a real blessing :) 

The second part of this has to do with Finding Meaning and Purpose. It sounds like she could use further education at some point, or an online class which might help grow her natural gifts and talents. 

As for money, this economic system is not kind. The quicker she can understand some of the impossibilities in it, the less she'll feel overwhelmed. But then that math: spending everything she's making on petrol, is a bad business decision. Now - that's fine to make if you have support. But perhaps walking dogs in her area might provide a better budget. 

Health and Safety first:

I've taken an herbal hormone balancing supplement with Dong Quai most of my life. Female Harmony by Crystal Star makes a good one. Another blend by them, Womens Best Friend has reduced cysts. I've worked with doctors on this.

As we get older, our bodies recover less quickly, so it's important to mind the biological differences of Autism. The hormonal imbalances are also part and parcel with ADHD as well.

The body is regulated by hormones, from thyroid to brain to our heart. The second big issue with Autism which medical findings show, is lower GABA. These are inhibitors in the body - also crucial for controlling a balance. They help us sleep, lessen anxiety, help digestion, and can aid emotional regulation and help ease hyper-sensory issues. I take a mushroom blend, which contain the building blocks for promoting GABA. I've taken these + Ashwaganda since my mid 20's. 

Anti-depressants and SSRI's will further lower GABA as a side-effect. In a pinch, half-dose of a benzodiazepine (which are made to specifically promote GABA), will actually help and a private GP might be able to give you a supervised dose. 

IMO, natural supplements are the way to go if you can afford it. 

What about walking? She can have her music on and still be moving, or gym stuff?

Has she been checked out properly for things like endometriosis? These things often get missed in girls and young women, there can be all sorts of medical reasons for painful periods and not all of them gynaecological, it could be back problems from something like an old injury or fall? Is it the bleeding itself that gets to her or is she suffering premenstrally too? I'm guesing that she's not anaemic, either in iron or B12? It can be such a struggle to get menstrual problems taken seriously, either going on the pill or having a baby seem to be the standard medical answers, not that there might be something actually wrong, thats treatable, many women have to wait years to be diagnosed properly and it's so wrong.

I find forensics interesting too, but I did find Criminal Minds got a bit to depressing after a while, may be you could steer her towards either studying psychology or forensic medicine, just to widen her focus a bit?

Does she know what she's anxious about? Or is it more amorphous general anxiety? Could her anxiety and menstral cylcle all be linked? A lot of women have a week after thier periods feeling "normal", then the anxiety starts grinding in after the mid month, ovulation cycle. You say you're going to give her tablets to stop her periods this month, but is it really helping her, I get that short term it could. Is she one the pill or something already, as that can cause all sorts of hormonal upsets, it's possible to have two hormonal cycles battling away in your body, your's and the one imposed by the pill?

I don't know, I'm just throwing some ideas out, I hope things settle for you both, I remember to well the monthly roller coaster and am so glad I no longer have it.

Hi, I'm an older autistic woman. I haven't brought up a daughter, but I can try to make some suggestions based on my own experience of being a female on the spectrum.

Anxiety has been a problem throughout my life. It's only recently that I have found something that helps, which is CBD capsules. These are available without prescription and I haven't noticed any side effects, although I only use them occasionally.

I had decades of problems with periods. I disagree with Desmond regarding inhibiting menstruation - I became severely depressed when my periods got really bad but I couldn't take the combined contraceptive pill as the oestrogen raised my blood pressure too much, so I chose depo-provera (progesterone only) injections, which stopped menstruation, stopped all the pain, stopped the PMS, and really improved my quality of life. Everyone is different though, so it's best to take the advice of a medical professional when making such a decision.

Regarding the driving, although it stimulates her mind, perhaps it is actually over stimulating her and tiring her, which is causing her difficulty in dealing with other areas of life? Does she have any interest in video games? They would engage her brain and it's easier to just stop.and have a break if she gets tired (if she's tired when driving, she has to drive home first before she can take a break)

Hope things improve soon.

I'm sure she would be more than happy to share her masterpieces.

Deffo a female thing; obsession with Crime Drama.

I'm not qualified to comment, but the Criminal Minds stuff sounds cool  . I don't watch it, but I'd love to see some of those things posted here. 

ParentingAutism said:

Her anxieties are causing daily frequent tears and high emotions

It may help to get her to keep a detailed log of what she spends and when, then once a week review it with her and work out what is happening and if it is meeting her plans.

At her age there will never be enough so I would teach her to budget - to plan for things that she may not think about (eg clothes, makeup, sweets, car insurance, maintenance / repairs / replacement, birthday/Xmas presents etc) and build all this into an annual planner.

Chances are the numbers still won't add up but this can be used to encourage her to work more and make more money.

The reason she may be able to handle this extra work is that she will understand her finances inside out and can see where the money is going.

ParentingAutism said:

She can drive over 100 miles a day sometimes.

Maybe she can consider changing her car for an electric one - or a hybrid. These are cheap to run and have low second hand value which being able to do these distances. They are also bringers of eco cred amongst her peers.

ParentingAutism said:

To help with her anxiety, I am making her a jobs list of what she needs to clean. 

I would recommend giving her the info and let her build the lists herself with you assisting only - teach her the way to look at the problems and formulate solutions which will lead her to have agency over her own decisions and lower anxiety across the board.

You are doing a good job and I hope some of these tips are of use.

Yes, I do a lot of driving; too. I have the free-time to do it, though. It does, however, hyperfocus me.

She needs time to unwind, after she drives. Otherwise, driving would fry her brain. Plus, there'll be that negative critical voice in her head, as is the case with me.

I don't feel comfortable, however, with menstruation-inhibitors. Chamomile Tea is a natural remedy for Period Pain. In fact, contraception is likely to increase her anxiety.

The Chamomile Tea will also help her sleep.