Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter, 18, is suffering with really bad anxiety. Chloe has a job cleaning a house, 3 hours a week. She also has a babysitting/child sitting job which she goes to once every few weeks. I'm am off work this week so she is going to clean one of my customers houses. To help with her anxiety, I am making her a jobs list of what she needs to clean.
Her anxieties are also based around money. She really struggles to save so always ends up having no money left at the end of the month. She mainly spends money on petrol because of how many miles she drives a week. She can drive over 100 miles a day sometimes. She says she loves driving because her brain is stimulated at all times and she can listen to music. If anyone knows what activities she/we can do which can substitute the driving, please let me know!
Her anxieties are causing daily frequent tears and high emotions, however I can see she is bottling it in. She is hard to get her to see family friends, but they are very understanding in her needs which makes it easier for everyone.
I am trying to keep routines the same, for example she is obsessed with Criminal Minds and is watching the series, making PowerPoints about the profilers/agents and the criminals, which is impressive. I am using visual timetables and schedules with her again. I am also offering tablets to stop her menstruation this month because this will make it all worse. I am also giving her tablets to help her sleep again.
If anyone knows of any other ideas or opinions, please share them, whatever they may be. She is really struggling.
ParentingAutism said:Her anxieties are causing daily frequent tears and high emotions
It may help to get her to keep a detailed log of what she spends and when, then once a week review it with her and work out what is happening and if it is meeting her plans.
At her age there will never be enough so I would teach her to budget - to plan for things that she may not think about (eg clothes, makeup, sweets, car insurance, maintenance / repairs / replacement, birthday/Xmas presents etc) and build all this into an annual planner.
Chances are the numbers still won't add up but this can be used to encourage her to work more and make more money.
The reason she may be able to handle this extra work is that she will understand her finances inside out and can see where the money is going.
ParentingAutism said:She can drive over 100 miles a day sometimes.
Maybe she can consider changing her car for an electric one - or a hybrid. These are cheap to run and have low second hand value which being able to do these distances. They are also bringers of eco cred amongst her peers.
ParentingAutism said:To help with her anxiety, I am making her a jobs list of what she needs to clean.
I would recommend giving her the info and let her build the lists herself with you assisting only - teach her the way to look at the problems and formulate solutions which will lead her to have agency over her own decisions and lower anxiety across the board.
You are doing a good job and I hope some of these tips are of use.