Does anyone else have this?

Ben said:

I used to do that before I finally plucked up the courage NOT to go the gatherings,

I haven't managed to get to that stage yet although I have declined one invitation from a cousin to meet in another (very busy) city.

I'm not sure she was terribly pleased but that's the dilemma - looking after ourselves or others.

He has been happy at home with just his dad and myself. We facetimed my parents and sister which he liked. He seems happy to see people but in his own home.

He is six years old. 

"...I had always found them stressful, but I didn't want to offend people by showing them this, so I'd masked."

Oh Debbie, yes, yes, yes.. I used to do that before I finally plucked up the courage NOT to go the gatherings,

Ben

NAS75657 said:

our Son who has ASD would  happily come along too and he’d enjoy it

Are you certain about this?

When I was diagnosed my autistic friend said that I had always enjoyed family get-togethers.

I pointed out to him that I hadn't, that I had always found them stressful, but I didn't want to offend people by showing them this, so I'd masked.

NAS75657 said:

he has just wanted to stay home at Christmas. Is this usual

Yes.

You don't say how old your son is, but it could be adolescence or, as indeed you say, his ASD. 

I am nearly seventy years old and I still avoid xmas like the plague.   Social gatherings, be they family or otherwise, are often a nightmare to us. Sitting around a large dinner table can make us feel trapped, We are stuck between the table, the family and the four walls of the room....... and we are expected to sparkle... and cosume an enourmous meal that we may not enjoy..... we can be very picky eaters.

I think you should just let him do his own thing, whatever his age. If he's young, keep an eye on him from a discreet distance, and don't put any pressure on him.

Hoping the day goes well,

Ben

I have hated Christmas for as long as I can remember. For me, and I think many others with autism Christmas creates sensory overload and can lead to melt down. These days my family understand and give me lots of space and quiet time. They are so understanding and it makes a huge difference to me. My dislike of Christmas certainly increased over the years. 

Whilst everyone on the spectrum is different the issues around Christmas seem to be very common. 

I would not presume to advise on what you should do, I just hope that this gives the perspective you seek to support your decisions. 

Best wishes to you and your son, he is very fortunate to have such a caring, loving family. 

I personally love staying at home.  It's where I feel most safe and comfortable.