My Son doesn’t like to eat.

im trying to remember everything iv tried and thoughts iv had with my son over the years and i remembered thinking it could be something like not being able to see the entire process of the meal , i let him be around the meal prep/cooking/plating up, try keep the foods looking the same before and after cooking, try and cook bland foods, smell to a minimum. at 1 point my son ate iceberg lettuce, he would only eat it if he saw me chop it up and wash it. as for a distraction idea maybe try a small train set or a few building blocks on the table?? im just thinking something with motion . i also found that my son would eat more if he sat alone for meals, i would stay in the kitchen, cleaning etc so he has company but not the pressure of family meals, some people dont like others chewing noises. hope you find a quick solution and try not to get too disheartened if what works 1 day suddenly stops, theres always a reason and most of the time its pain related, headache ,toothache a cold coming etc etc

Interesting about the cheese, as it can allude to other things. There are several possibilities with this including animal rennet. My son did better with goats cheese than milk when he was young. I had to go off diary for 15 years until I stopped eating gluten. About a year after I could have dairy no problem! As I've gotten older, I cannot have dairy if I accidentally have legumes or cruciferous veg. Its a frustrating problem, but it's amazing you've been able to identify this.

Can you leave cups with lids of water about the house within his reach? An idea that's not always earth friendly, but can help for a time, is to buy small bottles of water and just leave them within his reach in various locations. I did this with my son and it helped. He would at least eat protein bars, which, between 3-6 I would let him eat whenever. He maybe had one a day though. Have you tried the squeezable fruit puree? Again, not earth ideal, but can be really helpful in situations like this. https://www.boots.com/ellas-kitchen-strawberries-apples-stage-1-from-4-months-120g-10102114?cm_mmc=bmm-buk-google-ppc-_-PLAs_HeroCompare-_-Baby_Feeding-_-UK_Smart_Shopping_Baby_Feeding&gclid=Cj0KCQiAxc6PBhCEARIsAH8Hff36jQDhjLCikRE6XDeQ4tFAgDRa1G6EFc07OAWeG1I0hpXh3xgAdakaAmicEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds 

Paul, Thank you for your reply, it’s not something that has ever been noticed but we will keep it in mind, Thank you. 

Caelus Thank you for your response, His teeth have always been fine, he has no problems chewing on his hands, or putting toys in his mouth it just seems to be food he dislikes 

I have just remembered that my sister said I had a high palette so food kept getting stuck at the top of my mouth (still happens sometimes now).  This obviously freaked me out when I was very young.

have you wondered whether there could be a problem with his teeth?
not wanting to chew food and only wanting liquid food could point to his teeth not being strong or developed enough yet maybe. or have tooth pain.

That sounds like me until I was about 3 or 4 - everything was minced for me, I just couldn't do solid food.  It did pass but I can't remember how

NAS73797 Thank you for your advice, and for sharing the struggles that you have had. We will seek some advice about supplements, and see what distractions we can come up with, my Son isn’t interested in tablets or the Tv. Thank you again for your help. 

NAS77095Thank you for your advice and tips, also sharing the struggles that your family have had too. My Son still drinks milk and quite a bit of it, it’s just his eating that has always been the problem, he was quite poorly as a baby and has developmental delay from this which makes things quite difficult. We will give your advice a go and see whether my Son will engage in the activities. Thank you again. 

JuniperFromGallifrey Thank you for your advice, the only thing we’ve come across that my Son is allergic to is cheese so we stay away from that. It’s quite difficult because he doesn’t know when he is hungry or thirsty, everything has to be offered to him at certain times otherwise he would just go without, there is no understanding or communication.

SallyCinnamon Thank you for your understanding and kind words.

hi, my son has this i give nourishment type drinks, fruit/icecream smoothies, ellas kitchen oats baby breakfast pouches, semolina, custard. when he was about 5 he started feeding himself and added bread sticks, plain pasta and rice dry crackers and garlic cheese. hes now 11 and over the years has eaten various things then stopped, it turned out he has oral allergies, i think the food control might be his way of knowing whats affecting his body but not being able to explain. hes seen dieticians over the years and generally the advice is a daily vitamin and mineral supplement. advice wise i would say just keep offering different foods, dont worry if he doesnt eat it or about sticking to 1 food if thats all he eats and talk to his doctor about supplements. also try a food separator plate and a tablet or tv on to help distract from the food. 

My older brother has autism and although was verbal he used to vomit everything that he was given to eat. He was prescribed milkshakes (I think you can buy it now from chemists but would ask your gp about them.) My brother has a gag reflex valve issue which 25 years ago wasn’t spotted. The milkshakes were a game changer as he didn’t need to eat anything else with texture and he gained weight. My mum carried on getting the prescription for years and we all drank them! Eventually (about age 5) when he stopped  associating food with being sick he began eating. My younger  brother (6) has major sensory issues too (it’s definitely a family thing) He was breastfed for longer than most children are. When it came to any other food the pressure was completely off (as he was getting what he needed nutritional in the milk) and due to that he began to eat. (he was non verbal until age 5 I think never chewing food played a part) Now he mostly eats Pom bears, potato waffles and innocent smoothie cartons (which although expensive are worth a try too!)  Out of interest when did he stop having formula/breast milk? Obviously not an ideal diet for a three year old but if that is something he likes you could go back to that maybe? Even nestle milkshakes from the supermarket are fortified, just to take the stress out of nutrition for a while. (I’m sure dentists would be horrified!) My younger brother is now up for trying lots of foods some stick and most don’t but he is more willing to try now, the foods he does eat do cover most food groups. Lots of sensory play with food is worth a try too, twinkl worksheet website has lots of fun ideas. Making cakes, let him eat the mixture as no bought eggs have salmonella anymore!  my little brother loves pancake mixture (and pancakes) and when you think about it he gets protein from the eggs and milk which we couldn’t get him to eat otherwise. Distraction eating whilst playing on tablets or watching tv is one of my mum’s favourite tricks too! As hard as it is, try not to worry about it too much it will get better! Lots of love to you all! 

My grandmother would always say children will eat when they're hungry DO NOT force feed them. 

So I would give my son 2-3 items: 2-3 small peas. 2-3 Cheerios. a few finger food items and when he was done pop a few more on his tray. I would continue this in the car. I would pass him one item at a time. Eventually he would have enough and refuse. 

We have many dietary issues in our family as well. My son is allergic to eggs and cannot have pork. I have severe grain/legume/high fibre veg allergies. I'm following a FODMAP diet guideline for now,  as it does cover most of the known allergens individuals with IBS deal with. 

They don't need much when they're young. But I would definitely work out if he allergies/intolerances. 

Hi Melanie, 

I don't have any advice I'm sorry but my son was a very fussy eater (I know now it is ARFID) and I still remember the constant worry over him getting ill when he was little. Mealtimes were a nightmare and filled with stress and anxiety. Your situation is so much worse and I can't imagine how worrying it is for you. 

Just wanted to send some well wishes your way and hope that you get some answers on here.