Published on 12, July, 2020
I was thinking about something that happened last year
I was wearing my Frozen shirt and was sitting in class. Mrs Y came over and said "I like your shirt! Guess whos going to Frozen Broadway on sunday?"I then stared at her while smiling waiting for her to continue the conversation. I wasnt sure what to say because obviously its her whos going, otherwise why would she bring it up? But I didnt know if I was supposed to respond 'you?' or maybe I should say 'cool' or something?Anyway I just stared at her smiling probably looking like an idiot. She stared at me smiling waiting for my responce. And the class was staring at both of us. Then eventually the teacher said "Its me. Im going." and then I just smiled and nodded.I probably shouldve told her how I was going too but on tuesday, it didnt cross my mind in the moment though.
And then today this boy, Drew (he makes fun of me), went up to me and said "hey youre in my math class. Do you wanna hear me rap?" then he just started rapping, I started laughing, then he finished and said "is that tough?". I just shrugged because I have no idea how id know how difficult it was for him to rap. Unless 'tough' is a slang that I didnt catch on to. Then him and his friends started laughing and Drew went on saying stuff about me.
Am I just really bad at interaccting with people? I know theres a communiction difference between NT and ND, but I feel like im worse at it than I should be
Now unrelated thing... TW
So people think of ending their life when they feel like there isnt any point in living anymore. But I was thinking, why dont people end their lives when they are happy? If you did that you could ensure that things wouldnt go bad again, and you would be dying happy. Is that a thing people do?
Ill be honest that id be quite satisfied with ending my life today. But im not depressed and nothing super bad happened. I wont do anything but still
Dear FrozenHeart,
I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.
If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.
If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service:
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/
The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.
MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.
If you feel you need more urgent help, our website lists some options you could consider https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help
If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.
You can find more information here:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide
Kind Regards,Rosie Mod
Hi.
I'm sorry someone has been treating you badly. Remember it's not you who has the problem, bullies bully because they feel bad about themselves and want to inflict that pain on someone else to make them feel better about themselves. I feel sorry for such people, it's very sad.
You sound a lovely person, it's always nice people who are bullied.
I'm sorry to read how you feel. School is not an autistic friendly environment, so I perfectly understand and relate to how you feel.
Definitely talk to someone if you can. You don't have to tell them you're feeling low, you can just say you're struggling and need to talk, and then say as much or as little as you like. That's what I used to do with the school counselor, nice lady, and it always made me feel better about things.
When you feel negative I know it's hard but try and focus on the good things in your life and the fact that the school day will end soon ;) that always made me feel a whole lot better.
I see you're a fan of frozen. Think of that, the feel good upbeat soundtrack from the films. There are so many positives in this world so try to focus on those when the negative stuff comes calling :)
I hope you're feeling more upbeat again now. Thinking of you and hoping you're ok,
Annmarie.
Maybe just tell them that you're struggling at the moment and you need a quiet space to sit for a while or some support? If they can give you some extra help then maybe you'll start to feel a bit better. Maybe your family might be able to talk to your school on your behalf?
I dont want to tell them, theyll send me to mental hospital
I remember school being a difficult time. Some people can be really mean. Is there a teacher at school who you feel comfortable talking to?
Im at school right now
Some things do help but then the feelings always come back once I have to be around people
I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to help. Are you safe? Do you have anyone with you? Can you call someone?
I feel like that sometimes. When I am feeling low I remember that it will pass, it might not feel like it at the moment but the bad feeling will go away and good ones will come. I use music to help me, is there some music that will help lift your mood?
I dont want to live anymore
Roswell said:I have developed strategies to cope with things that are difficult.
Well thats good
I'm sad but I think life will get better soon. I think life sometimes gets easier the older you get. I have developed strategies to cope with things that are difficult.
Roswell said:Nobody who is truly strong whether that's inside or outside picks on other people.
Thats probably true
Roswell said:I've tried to end my life many times, and still I am drinking myself to death, but I no longer suffer the illusion that other people are better thanyou me.
How are you doing by the way?
Anyone who makes fun of you is only making themselves prove to be less than you. Nobody who is truly strong whether that's inside or outside picks on other people. They are idiots and you should just totally ignore them. I've tried to end my life many times, and still I am drinking myself to death, but I no longer suffer the illusion that other people are better thanyou me. Being Autistic is difficult, it's okay to feel sad.
Tulip52 said:Aw frozen heart i hope you are ok.
Sorta
Tulip52 said:Im a bit like that, i dont respond maybe like i should, but why "should" we? We will respond as we feel. I may give short direct responses and why not! I wouldnt worry too much about it, just be yourself and everyone else can be themselves too.
Its funny because in real life im either not talking at all or I say very few words, or I talk way too much. No in between.
In the US we have rights unless they mess with someone elses rights (like playing music at 1am until someone calls a complaint on it). If everybody was themself I feel like there would be issues. Its a nice sentiment, but not very realistic.
Aw frozen heart i hope you are ok.
Im a bit like that, i dont respond maybe like i should, but why "should" we? We will respond as we feel. I may give short direct responses and why not! I wouldnt worry too much about it, just be yourself and everyone else can be themselves too.
Its a nice thought to die happy. I imagine that emotional pain could be one reason why people end their lives, and when they are happy the pain isnt so bad so no desperate need to do it x