Published on 12, July, 2020
I was thinking about something that happened last year
I was wearing my Frozen shirt and was sitting in class. Mrs Y came over and said "I like your shirt! Guess whos going to Frozen Broadway on sunday?"I then stared at her while smiling waiting for her to continue the conversation. I wasnt sure what to say because obviously its her whos going, otherwise why would she bring it up? But I didnt know if I was supposed to respond 'you?' or maybe I should say 'cool' or something?Anyway I just stared at her smiling probably looking like an idiot. She stared at me smiling waiting for my responce. And the class was staring at both of us. Then eventually the teacher said "Its me. Im going." and then I just smiled and nodded.I probably shouldve told her how I was going too but on tuesday, it didnt cross my mind in the moment though.
And then today this boy, Drew (he makes fun of me), went up to me and said "hey youre in my math class. Do you wanna hear me rap?" then he just started rapping, I started laughing, then he finished and said "is that tough?". I just shrugged because I have no idea how id know how difficult it was for him to rap. Unless 'tough' is a slang that I didnt catch on to. Then him and his friends started laughing and Drew went on saying stuff about me.
Am I just really bad at interaccting with people? I know theres a communiction difference between NT and ND, but I feel like im worse at it than I should be
Now unrelated thing... TW
So people think of ending their life when they feel like there isnt any point in living anymore. But I was thinking, why dont people end their lives when they are happy? If you did that you could ensure that things wouldnt go bad again, and you would be dying happy. Is that a thing people do?
Ill be honest that id be quite satisfied with ending my life today. But im not depressed and nothing super bad happened. I wont do anything but still
I dont want to live anymore
Dear FrozenHeart,
I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.
If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.
If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service:
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/
The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.
MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.
If you feel you need more urgent help, our website lists some options you could consider https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help
If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.
You can find more information here:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide
Kind Regards,Rosie Mod
I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to help. Are you safe? Do you have anyone with you? Can you call someone?
I feel like that sometimes. When I am feeling low I remember that it will pass, it might not feel like it at the moment but the bad feeling will go away and good ones will come. I use music to help me, is there some music that will help lift your mood?