Published on 12, July, 2020
I was thinking about something that happened last year
I was wearing my Frozen shirt and was sitting in class. Mrs Y came over and said "I like your shirt! Guess whos going to Frozen Broadway on sunday?"I then stared at her while smiling waiting for her to continue the conversation. I wasnt sure what to say because obviously its her whos going, otherwise why would she bring it up? But I didnt know if I was supposed to respond 'you?' or maybe I should say 'cool' or something?Anyway I just stared at her smiling probably looking like an idiot. She stared at me smiling waiting for my responce. And the class was staring at both of us. Then eventually the teacher said "Its me. Im going." and then I just smiled and nodded.I probably shouldve told her how I was going too but on tuesday, it didnt cross my mind in the moment though.
And then today this boy, Drew (he makes fun of me), went up to me and said "hey youre in my math class. Do you wanna hear me rap?" then he just started rapping, I started laughing, then he finished and said "is that tough?". I just shrugged because I have no idea how id know how difficult it was for him to rap. Unless 'tough' is a slang that I didnt catch on to. Then him and his friends started laughing and Drew went on saying stuff about me.
Am I just really bad at interaccting with people? I know theres a communiction difference between NT and ND, but I feel like im worse at it than I should be
Now unrelated thing... TW
So people think of ending their life when they feel like there isnt any point in living anymore. But I was thinking, why dont people end their lives when they are happy? If you did that you could ensure that things wouldnt go bad again, and you would be dying happy. Is that a thing people do?
Ill be honest that id be quite satisfied with ending my life today. But im not depressed and nothing super bad happened. I wont do anything but still
Hi.
I'm sorry someone has been treating you badly. Remember it's not you who has the problem, bullies bully because they feel bad about themselves and want to inflict that pain on someone else to make them feel better about themselves. I feel sorry for such people, it's very sad.
You sound a lovely person, it's always nice people who are bullied.
I'm sorry to read how you feel. School is not an autistic friendly environment, so I perfectly understand and relate to how you feel.
Definitely talk to someone if you can. You don't have to tell them you're feeling low, you can just say you're struggling and need to talk, and then say as much or as little as you like. That's what I used to do with the school counselor, nice lady, and it always made me feel better about things.
When you feel negative I know it's hard but try and focus on the good things in your life and the fact that the school day will end soon ;) that always made me feel a whole lot better.
I see you're a fan of frozen. Think of that, the feel good upbeat soundtrack from the films. There are so many positives in this world so try to focus on those when the negative stuff comes calling :)
I hope you're feeling more upbeat again now. Thinking of you and hoping you're ok,
Annmarie.