Do you ever cry?
It is such a rare occurrence for me, but today I did when I was exercising in my garage gym. I think I know why I did, but often understanding my emotions can be a bit confusing for me.
I think many things got on top of me in this instance (both positive and negative feelings) that it came out in this way. It’s quite an intense thing really.
I just wondered what everyone’s experiences with this was as I know everyone is different.
Crying for me is very unpredictable. Sometimes it wil be because I have been affected by something on TV...other times similar things don't touch me at all. Likewise with real life events.
Sometimes I feel like I 'want' to cry but it won't come out.
I think much of it is related to how tired I am at the time, as I struggle with rumination and insomnia.
I had thought of emotional techniques such as these:
https://www.wikihow.com/Cry-and-Let-It-All-Out
rather than pain (possibly injurious) induced crying.
No me very few crying for me. Just extreme pain or feeling lost. Not do know why just like that is. But sad feel often in me
I think for me it's just years of bottling stuff up and, to put it bluntly, having become ashamed of showing any emotion at all.
It does lead to things being pent-up and it's not very healthy but even thinking about sad things doesn't make me cry much.
When I was a child I would cry all the time. I'm 26 now. I was 24 the last time I cried properly.
There's also a big thing in my head about letting people *see* me do it. Like I almost have a fear of letting out tears in front of people. In therapy sometimes talking about trauma I can get a bit glossy eyed and maybe even spill out a tear but its like...hollow? it isn't coming from a place of feeling.
I relate to this bit. I am afraid because I don't want people to think I'm manipulating them although like you, I can get glossy eyed in therapy sometimes.
I think it probably is trauma for me, and maybe years of having masked pretty much every emotion.
This is a big one for me.
I take a lot of drugs for my mental health and I think that has numbed me down to a point where I can't *really* cry.
I really want to sometimes, you know it looks so cathartic, when people have those deep sobbing tears and 'get the feelings out' sort of thing, but that just doesn't come for me.
I have had depression most of my life, as well as complex post traumatic stress disorder and I think somewhere along the line I just stopped being able to do it.
There's also a big thing in my head about letting people *see* me do it. Like I almost have a fear of letting out tears in front of people. In therapy sometimes talking about trauma I can get a bit glossy eyed and maybe even spill out a tear but its like...hollow? it isn't coming from a place of feeling.
I guess it's hard to explain. I don't know how much of it is autism, how much of it is programming myself and how much of it is trauma. But the bottom of it is: I would like to cry but I can't.
Needing to cry and repressing it can become as such a habitual pattern or learnt response.
Whilst I'm in agreement with that, I feel that what I'd written may have been misinterpreted and could have been worded better. I have friends that have ended up in tears after watching something on TV (an episode of Long Lost Family for example). Whilst I may have been left feeling happy or sad for the people featured in the episode, it's not been to the extent that I've felt so emotionally moved that I want to cry.
Therefore, when I know other people have cried about something that hasn't had the same effect on me, this is what causes me to momentarily wonder if there's something wrong with me. It's not that I feel a need to cry and am repressing it, it's more the fact that I don't feel the need to cry.
yeah its when they dont take your first answer, then your second answer, then ask what your answer means and keep pressing with it when you really likely either dont know how you feel dont want to think of how you feel or just dont want to tell them how you feel i guess.
I do cry, and whilst I'm usually able to identify the cause, there are occasions when I find that there just doesn't seem to be any rational explanation for it.
One rational explanation for unexpected bouts of crying usually involves repressed tears from our past..
Sometimes, I find myself in situations where I feel that my response should be to cry, and I question if there is something wrong with me because I'm not.
Needing to cry and repressing it can become as such a habitual pattern or learnt response.
It’s that freaking question.. ‘asking how someone is?’.. I don’t know what it is about that particular question, it is the bane of holding one’s breath, whether you’re a cornered adult or a lost-child holding it together, that question slays them all..
I don't cry at all. It's not that I don't want to, I just can't.
I used to cry all the time as a child but over the last few years I've just become numb to pretty much everything. I can make myself tear up a little if I put on a certain sad video or something but it's not like I can release any pent-up emotion properly.
I do cry, and whilst I'm usually able to identify the cause, there are occasions when I find that there just doesn't seem to be any rational explanation for it.
When I cry, it's usually because I'm experiencing a negative emotion (sadness, anger, frustration, etc). However, I have been known to cry as a result of feeling intense positive emotions (crying with happiness).
One thing I do know is that I will actively go out of my way to avoid crying in public. I remember one particular occasion when I found myself in a situation that caused me to feel completely desperate, helpless, and frustrated. I desperately wanted to cry, but I was in an open-plan office and had no desire to draw attention to myself by breaking down in tears. The result was that I stormed out of the building and held in the tears until after I arrived home.
Sometimes, I find myself in situations where I feel that my response should be to cry, and I question if there is something wrong with me because I'm not.
i dunno, probably that i have some issue maybe.
i was called into office today for a investigation into the stuff at work as i also made counter claims and said other stuff which prompted red flags for them then they pretty much pushed me into asking how i am and i kinda broke down crying unable to even answer or provide reason why or a answer on how i feel, totally uncool. but i dunno probs something wrong, they organising counselling or whatever after that lol i suppose thats one way to get things looked into and people to realise the nhs neglected my mental health cases.
So considering that you had this release of pent-up stress and low-mood, in the form of the usage of your ocular-overflows, how do you feel now and have you learned anything about yourself..?
In terms of having been referred for a diagnosis ~ you have therefore what is considered to be a preliminary diagnosis that stands until otherwise proven, which of course does not provide anywhere near as much protection legally as actually having been diagnosed, but the quality act 2010 does as such have more bearing in difficult situations such as like the one you have described.
Of course it is entirely up to you about whether or not to inform your employer about having been referred for an autism diagnosis, but it could prevent a discriminatory sacking and give you the opportunity to find much more amenable employment ~ without being unemployed in the meantime and missing mortgage repayments and all that possibly.
i already spoke to his boss about this ages ago and went to him with my concerns. at that time he said he wont let him fire me and all of this is in my head and just my opinion.... so hopefully it goes to him and he sees it and he steps in and realises i was right then fires that guy instead... but even then it will still be a issue because that guy isnt the only problem he has his entire family in management positions and they will all still carry on probably wanting to go harder to avenge him being fired if my counter argument succeeds.
last time we had a fight i actually got the guys girlfriend fired because i proved he hired her unfairly and promoted her in her first week when she didnt know anything then let her be off with full pay all through winter. so its been a long back and forth fight with him, and i have had victories while defending against him. but he never stops.
that guy will just be pursuing getting me fired. and have the weight of all the dodgy related higher up staff with him.
This was why I eas suggesting gathering incriminatin evidence if you can. Forward emails to your personal email if they are relevant to harassment, start recording calls and see if you can get them to say something incriminating.
When you have your disciplinary meetings then take an independent advisor with you (union rep?) so they don't try any dodgey stuff or deny you your rights. If you struggle under pressure then consider a lawyer (I think they may need to pay)
I had this experience about a decade back and the fact I kept lots of incriminating evidence tuned it from what they thought was a slam dunk firing into a very large payout, so it is possible..
not diagnosed yet as my gp left my refferal on their table for 3 years before i asked about it and asked why they havent sent it, they claimed they sent it but i doubt they did as still nothing. plus changed areas and gp now so process interrupted.
its a suspension so they can still find him in the wrong and bring me back, or they can still bring me back and just give me a disciplinary off it maybe. but that guy will just be pursuing getting me fired. and have the weight of all the dodgy related higher up staff with him.
its kinda bad as i have a mortgage now and im likely unemployable anyway and getting this job was a total one off lucky fluke.
all because my supervisor is seemingly finally getting what he wants as he suspended me from work and is again trying to get me fired. h
Sorry to hear you are going through this Caelus, but it sounds like it may lead to a happier future on the other side.
Did you disclose your autism diagnisis? Is fo then yu may have some ammunition towards a wrongful dismissal claim.
For now gather as much physical evidence as you can to demonstrate wrongdoing and/or harassment while you still have emaill access. Remember to keep this at home on your personal devices.
Embrace the emotion and let it run its course. It can feel much better after a release such as this.
was such a aweful day yesterday too, constantly attacked none stop before the suspension. by multiple people as i said all in the office are all related to one another so when they go in they all come at you.
manager tried to change my times to be through midnight and i rejected it and he said give me a reason not to in a bullying intimidation attempt way and had this other supervisors brute bully brother as his back up.
