Let off steam in here thread.

Red82 (Formerly Mellowjian)

As you started this thread, in an earlier version of yourself, I thought I'd revive it with an old post, that might feel appropriate right now.

I'm so sorry. If you ever need to talk about things I'm only a league message away. Don't face things on your own.

Thankyou.  I've had mental health issues since I was a teenager unfortunately. And the last few years I've had other health issues come along too.  So, I find life really tough now.

I'm so sorry you feel like this. I know it can't change anything but I'm thinking about you and hope things will get better for you.

That is sad. I have a favourite nature reserve also.

My favourite nature reserve a few miles away has been ruined by extensive tree felling. I assume there's a good reason for it but it's still kind of devastating. The paths are all churned up with machinery and they may or may not be closed (couldn't work it out from the signs this morning; there was no one around but then it was very early on a weekday so that's not unusual). It was my favourite place in the world and usually looks glorious at this time of year.

My kind of guy!

I've learned to say "*** off ***"! In 12 languages.

Arabic - اللعنة قبالة العضو التناسلي النسوي!

Chinese - 滚蛋吧！

French - Va te faire foutre, connard !

German - Verpiss dich, ***!

Greek - Γαμώ το μουνί!

Italian - Vaffanculo, stronza!

Japanese - クソ野郎！

Portuguese - Foda-se, boceta!

Romanian - La dracu'!

Russian - К черту пизду!

Spanish - ¡Vete a la mierda, coño!

Turkish - Siktir git amcık!

Unfortunately my social anxiety and disgust for humanity runs so deep that I never seek help.  I could call the crisis team but their support doesn't last very long.

I'm not the kind of person who can go to weekly appointments.  I am also weak as a kitten due to health issues.  It doesn't really help to challenge me in such a way and there's nothing to be done

Hello ,

I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.  

You may like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health  

The information on this page may be of particular interest:   https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/depression  

If you feel that you might need some support with your mental health, you can find advice and information on how to go about seeking help, including links to other resources and details of helplines and listening support services, here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/seeking-help. 

All the best,

Chloe

Today for the first time, i am able to say i am suffering from sensory overload. Having felt like this often throughout my life  but didnt know what was going on with me. Time to rest and re charge.

I feel as though poor health, poor mental health and social isolation are slowly killing me.  I am not enjoying my time on earth at all.

Bees knees = business. It is just the business ...  Still a strange expression, but makes slightly more sense.

So i guess i'm responding to my own thread.

What to do?  All of humanity seem destined to provoke a response from me.  I'm like a burning flame that makes others deeply insecure.  That is not my intention.  I am a kind and well brought up man.

I look for soulmates in this world and don't find them.  I also hate solitude.

The band Codeine have a song with a lyric that goes as follows:  A good friend is hard to find. But you'll have one if you open your eyes.

i open my eyes and see people who i thought were my friends deliberately trying to wound me.

 ""will tell you why; so shall my anticipation prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the King and queene: moult no feather. I have of late, (but wherefore I know not) lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition; that this goodly frame the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy the air, look you, this brave o'er hanging firmament, this majestical roof, fretted with golden fire: why, it appeareth no other thing to me, than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is a man, How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, In form and moving how express and admirable, In action how like an Angel, In apprehension how like a god, The beauty of the world, The paragon of animals. And yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me; no, nor Woman neither; " - William Shakespeare

I have to admit that it doesn't really bother me if a radio is on, provided I like the music/songs being played. However, I do agree with the point you made. As you say, as many of the people having those wet macular degeneration injections are elderly and may be hard of hearing, it's not really the best setting to have a radio blasting out in the background.

So, I am lying on a bed in the hospital for my eye injection (wet macular degeneration).

Everything that happens + especially, what is being said by the clinicians, matters.

This includes me following instructions and giving responses.

So, WHY oh WHY is there a bloody RADIO playing LOUD next to me?

This is one of those occasions where I am glad of my diagnosis as I asked them to turn it off and told them I am autistic.

However, even if I weren't, I really don't see the need for it or the wisdom of it being on.

A lot of people having these injections are elderly and may have some hearing loss.

I actually think it's quite dangerous.

Unknown said:

It would mean less stress for all involved and innocent dentists wouldn’t be unintentionally bitten.

If I ever become a nurse, (my life goal), I’ll try to increase medical professional’s knowledge on our condition.

I love that line about dentists being bitten 

Super goal, I hope you achieve it.

If you do, I'm sure you will be a credit to the profession.

ps.  I am feeling a lot better thanks.

I'm sorry to hear about your appointment. They are a lot of stress and rarely pleasant.

I hope you're feeling better today and over the worst of it.

I hate the dentists.

It's everything I hate all in one short appointment.

It’s a change of scenery, a change of people. Unknown outcome.

They always feel insanely hot there and the last time I went to one I was very anxious and thought I was going to faint.

That’s a common issue for me and happens more than it should. I think my constant risk of fainting is why I’m always pale. Lol.

So I was at the dentist, lying on their uncomfortable chair and she starts poking around my mouth and I’m feeling more and more hot and then she paused, I see her frown and she says, “Could you open your mouth please, you’re biting me”.

Oops. Lol.

I’ve never bitten someone before but when she said it I managed to focus on where I was and what I was doing and she was right, I was biting her. Lol.

This was a good five years ago and I haven’t been back since. Sitting there, thinking hard about good things and trying not to faint I didn’t realise how hard I was biting.

When I’m anxious and scared I’ll normally clench my teeth. Gives me a sore jaw.

Like GP’s, we need some autistic trained dentist practices.

It would mean less stress for all involved and innocent dentists wouldn’t be unintentionally bitten.

If I ever become a nurse, (my life goal), I’ll try to increase medical professional’s knowledge on our condition.

Hey, I'm sorry you've been feeling like this. It's more than understandable. Working requires a lot of energy and processing and when you're autistic this is more demanding.

Are you able to ask for some support at work? They might be able to allow you to take breaks when you need them. That's what I did and my employer was surprisingly understanding of my situation.

Look after yourself and if you need to vent more then do. It's surprising how helpful a good vent can be.

Unknown said:

Feel better soon Debbie.

Thank you and also, all the best to you as you struggle in the work environment.

I hope there is a big improvement for you soon.