111 Mental health line - is it helpful?

I'm pleased things are a bit better and that you got time off from work. And thanks for updating us.

Accessing GPs seems to be awful everywhere at the moment. I think it's got worse since COVID.

Hi, I thought I would just update everyone in case it is useful. So I didn't ring 111 that day but a few days later I filled out their online tool in the night and within 10 minutes a nurse called me back. They then made sure I was called by a GP the next day (after I contacted my surgery). This resulted in me getting some time off work. I am glad that reaching out to 111 made it easy to access GP help because over the past months the way that my GP surgery has been handling appointments has made it incredibly difficult for people to access help, especially people like me who are autistic and struggling with mental health. I started reaching out for help in September and was only seen in January. I filled out their online form 4 times. It was ignored on several occasions and often noone picks up the phone (I once waited 37 min only to be hung up on). Now they have severely limited the hours during which their online consulting tool is open (and this is pretty much the main way of contacting the GP) but they do not state the opening times of the tool on the website... only that it is closed... Sorry... I didn't mean to go on and on about the issues of accessing GP care... I understand they are short staffed but I feel like they are not thinking about how their policies for accessing care might be making it particularly hard for vulnerable groups to access help. 

Thanks so much for everyone's support. Things still aren't easy but I am trying to figure it out... and it is so nice to feel supported by all of you.

Hi. 111 is hit and miss in my experience.

your local crisis would be more supportive

I call Lifeline Helpline, in Northern Ireland, and just called now; trying to settle down, after burnout.

I got a Bloke with a corny London/South Coast accent, as if he was an ex-Raver turned Rehab Coach. But he helped me calm down.

Drank chamomile tea, but notice that I'm buying Lucozade at lot now. The sugar is probably making me hypomanic. 

Thank you!

Your manager's behaviour definitely sounds confusing and stressful (to anyone, let alone someone autistic). Even so, I still think talking to him might be the best (or least worst) option right now. In the best case scenario, he understands and takes some of the pressure off you. In the worst case, you have at least been honest and given them the chance to help you, so they can't say, "Well, if you'd told us in advance, we could have done something, but as you didn't, you have to take full responsibility." And I definitely think it is worth doing everything you can to stop things getting worse, as restarting after burnout can be extremely difficult and some skills don't come back.

Sorry to sound negative! I hope it will be the best case scenario, but it seems prudent to prepare for all possibilities.

You are not lazy.

Asking for help is the first step. 

Have you tried Samaritans? 116 123 It is free.

Have you tried making a list of what is most important and what can wait a while?

Have a notebook and write down a numbered list and go though it slowly.

Take 5 minutes everyday just for yourself - listen to a song or looks at some trees. Take that moment for you. 

Crying can be good at times. 

Take care. 

Ann :) said:

I survived my interview today

Well done to you, Ann! 

Congratulations on the marriage! I hope you can live together soon. 

Thanks for your advice- I am worried about confiding in my manager as I am still on probation (only started recently) and though he is very nice at least on the surface, I feel like he is so different and I am concerned he would not understand. He has been piling on more stuff for me to do too. Also I've realised that he doesn't communicate directly as he will do all he can to keep the water calm... on the surface- It took me a while to realise this and I only started realising that he doesn't say what he means after other people repeatedly explained to me that he has a tendancy of saying 'yes' but meaning no... it's very confusing and makes it stressful as I am never sure what he really means. I do need to do something though... especially if I can't quit soon to start something else (after a break... ) 

Thank you so much. This was very good advice and it really helped me. I survived my interview today. Sadly, I have had more work piled on for next days at my job so my plan of recuperating a bit by taking it easy the next days is not happening. I am still barely functioning and I desperately need a break. I am trying to make it happen but it's hard to sort anything out, let alone make decisions (which I find extremely difficult even at my best) when I am in such a burnt out state... I've had burnout before (though until recently I didn't realise that was what I experienced on so many occasions), quite badly too  - I never recovered properly from the last burnout and was forced to jump back in at 5% battery which is how I ended up burntout even more severely now... it's terrifying... I feel broken and dysfunctional. I can't think. Usually I am always thinking but at times now I just feel catatonic and blank

I am sorry to hear that your work caused you such a bad burnout. I hope you feel recovered now and have managed to remove some of the factors that contributed to it from your life. 

I hope you are feeling a little less overwhelmed today.

When I am overwhelmed, which really does not take much these days, I find it helps if I just stop and ask myself which one thing is the most important? Our monotropic brains work best when focussing on one thing at a time. From your comments it seems that your upcoming interview may be the one thing you need to focus on right now.

Work is an unnecessary distraction and you need to take a few days off, on sick leave if necessary.

Any thoughts or worries about the future are also an unnecessary distraction. Try some mindfulness type practices to notice when your thoughts are drifting to worries about the future and try to gently bring them back to the current task.

If you can clear your mind of everything but the current task it should make focus a little easier to achieve. If you still can't focus try breaking it down into smaller manageable chunks. It's easier said than done I know, especially when as burnt out as you are.

Try not to beat yourself up about it. You have been through so much lately and you are certainly not a failure. No job is worth suffering major burn out for. The effects of a major burnout can take years to recover from and maybe some skills will never recover completely I speak from personal experience of my major burnout more than 20 years ago.

Take good care of yourself.

When you say you have asked someone for help, is that your superior at work? It might be helpful to speak to someone there about your situation, difficult though that conversation will undoubtedly be. The academic sector can be more understanding than the private sector, although a lot depends on who you have to deal with.

I am on the whole in a less burn-out inducing environment, although it has not worked out entirely the way I wanted. I'm in a job which was not the one I trained for with my MA. It is low-skilled and boring, and I make mistakes, but I can cope with two days a week. I'm trying to set up some work from home on some of the other days, but it's hard work. I'm in the process getting married (weird way of saying it, as I've had a civil marriage last year and am waiting for a religious ceremony; it's taking a long time as my wife was waiting for her visa to come to the UK), and hopefully I'll be in a much better place once I can live with my wife rather than my parents.

Please try to be kind to yourself!

I did the same. PgDips, never Masters. Way too much pressure..

Hi- thanks. I've basically dropped everything/ put on hold everything that I felt I could drop as I've had 0 energy and wanted to conserve any energy for essentials... Maybe I can cut down even more on work for my job the next days, though there are some things that have to happen... but I have already asked someone for help for the beginning of the week... And then I need to come up with a long term plan as the current state is not sustainable anymore... :( like you say it can take a long time to come back from burn out. I was in an utter state of burnout a year ago and had 7 weeks off and was nowhere near recovered but had no choice but to go back... and I somehow lasted until now dealing with an international move, new job and lots and lots of other things... but I've passed my limit. 

I'm sorry to hear that you also got burnt out during your degrees ... Are you in a less burn-out inducing environment now? 

Thanks so much for your support. You are all so kind. 

I'm really sorry to hear this. I got burnt out doing both my degrees, BA and MA. I don't think you're a failure and I certainly don't think you're lazy. It sounds like you're doing a lot. If you get burnt out, it's going to be much harder to get going again. is there anything you can put on hold for now?

I haven't tried 111, but I have found Samaritans helpful when I was in a bad state. I hope you can find a suitable therapist. 

Ann :) said:

I just feel like such a failure

Dear Ann, you are *not* a failure. You can and will come through this. x

Thanks! I am actually looking for a counsellor at the moment that has experience working with autistic people... I've had therapy in the past but it was not helpful and possibly even unhelpful... It's not so easy to find someone though who has experience with autistic individuals and I also would struggle to afford it privately... I did reach out to one person that was recommended but sadly they are fully booked... I should finally be able to get some support through the staff counselling service from the university I work for and I am hopeful that maybe they will be good. 

Sadly I can't really take tomorrow off as I need to hand in the slides for my presentation by Monday and I've not started yet :( . I think I still want to do this one thing even though it is so hard. I wish I could at least take off work on Monday or Tuesday but that is also very problematic... I've been pushing and pushing for years, I always put myself second and other people or a goal etc is the priority ... but I have reached breaking point or am probably already past it. I crave exactly what you describe- a 'simple life' - I had a crazy plan 3 years ago and wanted to do a qualification to become a hiking tour guide in France... but then I got injured and have still not recovered so that's gone now sadly... I can't even go for more than a 45-60 min walk at moment. I just have no idea what I would do if I don't pursue a career in science. There is nothing else that I like (except hiking etc.) or am good at... At the moment I also just cannot think straight... so this whole situation is a disaster. The only thing I am holding on to is that maybe I can have a prolonged period off soon... if I can come up with an alternative plan (eg. start studying again) then I want to quit my job early and have at least 2 months off if I can afford it somehow... 

Thanks a lot for the video link- as soon as I finally have space to relax I will watch that. 

You are best to talk to someone who understands autism not all 111 would. Can you maybe find an autistic specialist councillor? or see if there is a local disability group that can point you in the right path? 

Can you take some time out for yourself tomorrow and just have some quiet time doing what you want, that might help you to relax. have a peaceful and simple day. Watch some living simply youtube videos for example. 

You know I pushed myself through education and I wanted to do a masters but left with a pg cert and I am happy. I found that I had to impress no one and I am happy with a simple life. I have time to daydream . you need time to sit and look out of a window and happily daydream. go for a walk make some nice soup. 

Watch this : The Secret to Living Well - How the French Live Slowly | Simple Living in France - YouTube

For goodness sakes don’t hesitate to. Your health comes first. And maybe they can suggest practical steps - deadline extensions, things like that? I hope talking with someone and a good nights sleep helps you Ann. Life can be very hard, and there’s no shame in dropping everything to re-centre. And honest disclosure across the board can hopefully help with spreading the load. Don’t suffer in silence please

Thanks for your kind words. yes, I'm just super overwhelmed and the sad thing is that I think I know what I need (a real break...) but I just cannot have it at the moment ... I will see how I feel and maybe I will ring Samaritans if I cannot cope at all- I rang them in past and they were very kind.

Ann, im

so sorry you’re feeling this way. You were so kind to me the other night and I wish I could help in some way. One thing I can say is you are NOT lazy, what you are is overwhelmed. Your window of tolerance has been exceeded. Reaching out is good. I have no experience with 111, Samaritans was the only one I’ve used  when I was at my word’s d three months ago.