Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am really struggling right now and considered ringing 111 for urgent mental health help... but I just don't know if it is going to do any good or just cause more stress. Does anyone have experiences of ringing 111? Was it useful? I am severely burnt out, exhausted and in desperate need of a break, but I have to still meet one deadline by next week (an interview and presentation which could possibly do some good in long term and which I spent a lot of energy on over past weeks..) and then there is work... I am physically also in a fragile state as well as mentally being completely out of it- just can't focus, have no energy or motivation at all and just so frustrated that I seem to almost hate things I normally love. I keep crying because I feel so desperate and can't see a way forward and I am so worried about the future and if I will ever cope with a PhD or a full time job... I just feel like such a failure and so lazy that I can't seem to get the energy together for this final push... but then the issue is that it never stops. And I just don't see myself coping with my job much longer either (i don't like it and it has been very intense).... Sorry. I am rambling on. So sorry for being such a mess.
You are best to talk to someone who understands autism not all 111 would. Can you maybe find an autistic specialist councillor? or see if there is a local disability group that can point you in the right path?
Can you take some time out for yourself tomorrow and just have some quiet time doing what you want, that might help you to relax. have a peaceful and simple day. Watch some living simply youtube videos for example.
You know I pushed myself through education and I wanted to do a masters but left with a pg cert and I am happy. I found that I had to impress no one and I am happy with a simple life. I have time to daydream . you need time to sit and look out of a window and happily daydream. go for a walk make some nice soup.
Watch this : The Secret to Living Well - How the French Live Slowly | Simple Living in France - YouTube
Thanks! I am actually looking for a counsellor at the moment that has experience working with autistic people... I've had therapy in the past but it was not helpful and possibly even unhelpful... It's not so easy to find someone though who has experience with autistic individuals and I also would struggle to afford it privately... I did reach out to one person that was recommended but sadly they are fully booked... I should finally be able to get some support through the staff counselling service from the university I work for and I am hopeful that maybe they will be good.
Sadly I can't really take tomorrow off as I need to hand in the slides for my presentation by Monday and I've not started yet :( . I think I still want to do this one thing even though it is so hard. I wish I could at least take off work on Monday or Tuesday but that is also very problematic... I've been pushing and pushing for years, I always put myself second and other people or a goal etc is the priority ... but I have reached breaking point or am probably already past it. I crave exactly what you describe- a 'simple life' - I had a crazy plan 3 years ago and wanted to do a qualification to become a hiking tour guide in France... but then I got injured and have still not recovered so that's gone now sadly... I can't even go for more than a 45-60 min walk at moment. I just have no idea what I would do if I don't pursue a career in science. There is nothing else that I like (except hiking etc.) or am good at... At the moment I also just cannot think straight... so this whole situation is a disaster. The only thing I am holding on to is that maybe I can have a prolonged period off soon... if I can come up with an alternative plan (eg. start studying again) then I want to quit my job early and have at least 2 months off if I can afford it somehow...
Thanks a lot for the video link- as soon as I finally have space to relax I will watch that.