Any single girls aged between 29-40 on here?

Just to take my turn being pedantic over language, neuroDIVERSE refers to a group of people with different/various brain types. One person cannot be neurodiverse on their own.  An autistic person or a person with ADHD or mental health conditions can be described as neuroDIVERGENT. 

It's my way of fighting that stigmatising label 'high functioning autism'

I think each of us can be high and low functioning depending on circumstances, and just because you're coping now, it doesn't guarantee that it will be so always.

Those who require support, unable to live on their own I would class severly autistic, and most of them can speak for themsleves better than we do

• Hi, from what I have read the terms of high and low functioning came from America. The original term of low functioning was used for a person who had an IQ of under 70, autism wasn’t really a factor. I have dipped in and out of a FB group based in America, it is based on high functioning terminology. The assessments in America  are funded  by health insurance companies who base a high functioning diagnosis on the fact that the person needs less help and accommodations.  The end result is that they don’t cost the insurance company too much as they are high functioning. The part that I found strange was the the term of high functioning, states next to it, “requires support “ personally I’m happy with autistic spectrum condition.The spectrum has no start or finishing line.

I have many times encountered those with Learning Disabilities with autism be it in school, in my current job or generally when I have given nonprofit speeches on my condition. I attended an awful lot of events in North Wales and Wirral in the five years leading up to the Pandemic promoting my books. A lot of people who were autistic who were there were usually children or those who clearly didn’t represent what me and my family believe. 

I don’t mind if you work, whether you watch Anime or anything else I was illustrating that I don’t fit the stereotypes. My first ever girlfriend I had earlier this year wasn’t in paid work but they had more of an issue with me, as I had zero bother with it. 

Nonetheless I require having my sister to be my full-time carer this is hence I used “high functioning” in quote marks as it wasn’t me using the term as it isn’t something I subscribe to. Autism is autism in my eyes just with an exceedingly broad spectrum as well as being a very complex condition. To illustrate this, I have an above average intelligence quotient, can write three published books, work part time in two jobs over the years but I can’t tie my shoelaces, ride a bike or undertake basic tasks around the house.

I just seemingly don’t fit any boxes of adults with autism in my area who have been diagnosed as early as I was at age four in April 1989. Some I meet tend to have been diagnosed late or aren’t even aware they are on the spectrum. By this time they have drifted through life, possibly even having a family, a partner and a career but not realising their idiosyncratic eccentricities are probably them being autistic. 

There doesn’t tend to be girls in my area on the spectrum of a compatible ilk and age demographic to me without having children or are in a relationship. If I lived in one of Merseyside, Wirral, “Mancheshire” or Greater Manchester I would encounter more people on the spectrum that I could relate to. I know from experience that I would as so have in the past but I don’t drive so it isn’t easy to travel regularly.

Each to their own, but I find the specific choice of words used, and the tone of the post somewhat condescending. We are ALL autistic. I explained this in my post. Many of of us can function well. That doesn’t mean we are elitist, and that we should not socialise with others who ‘might’ like anime or those who are on benefits for example, because they are unable to work.

I don’t judge people like that. I don’t like the sentiment. Just my opinion. No one has to agree. 
The whole thing is based on stereotypes. Having an interest that doesn’t fall into the autistic stereotype category is allowed, and is in fact very common. It doesn’t set one apart from another…..

That was exactly the point I was trying to make.

Mariusz said:

Lucky you haven't experienced low functioning yet

Have you considered it's that division you make that keeps autistic women away from you ? They are masters of disguise you wouldn't guess it's that 

I don't see it this way.

Surely it's what I said earlier ie a distinction in autism, not society in general.

So, within the context of autism, 'high functioning' is the medical definition ie that we can perform basic life skills and live independently?

The division is there.  It exists already and I think that for someone looking for a relationship is very pertinent.

Lucky you haven't experienced low functioning yet

Have you considered it's that division you make that keeps autistic women away from you ? They are masters of disguise you wouldn't guess it's that 

It sends a message you consider yourself somewhat better

i know an awful lot about the activities in the local area. I constantly keep my eye open. They are so non-existent that I am thinking of starting a group for over 25 Neurodiverse people of all conditions who are “high functioning” (also don’t be pedantic over my use of the term as it is commonly used by an awful lot of people).There isn’t anything trust me in the City isn’t should be a City where I live in Wales. It was named in 2022a City as part of the Jubilee. but it is all but that in reality. It is really a medium sized town. 

The reviews I read on Hiki were actually from this very forum. They were beyond scathing to be honest.  I have tried all the mainstream dating sites. Read my “varied” experiences within my first post. I also don’t drink and the only time I have ever gone for a night out is to a gig either of comedy or music or to a sporting event. 

Although I have lots of mate both male with several female 99% are in long term relationships, married and have children. Also, quite a few live across the country as I met them when I worked at Manchester United Television.

Also, I wasn’t ready for a relationship when I was at Manchester United Television and there certainly isn’t anyone amongst the few people I work with now or at the gym I go to.

I still haven’t met many men near the spectrum with my interests never mind ladies. I don’t play computer games, watch Anime and Manga, read comic books or watch Disney/Superhero movies. Interests aren’t everything to me looking for a relationship as they only have to respected and not necessarily joined in together with as even a good romantic couple spent quality time apart. This is what would make it a quality relationship with potential for the long term. 

Catlover said:

Why do you keep going on about high functioning? Autism is autism.

It's my understanding that this diagnosis distinguishes us as a group from those autistic people who would traditionally have been diagnosed with autism.

It means that we can perform basic life skills like speaking, reading and writing and personal care.

We can live independently, unlike the group who would have been diagnosed with autism pre 1990s.

As a group those who are 'high functioning' only started to be diagnosed in the 1990s (as having Aspergers Syndrome).

Why do you keep going on about high functioning? Autism is autism. Your whole post is based on stereotypes and assumptions. Not all autistic folk are the same, or like the same things. Lots of us function exceptionally well in the big wide world, and have a family to take care of as well, but we all have deficits somewhere or we wouldn’t have qualified for a diagnosis.

Again you are making assumptions about HIKI. You are just reading ‘some’ reviews. What about trying it for a couple of months yourself and then decide it’s awful?

Autisitc empathy has members across the country. You decide whether you’re there for friends or for a relationship. Have a look at it, or don’t. And if you don’t have many groups in your area, try travelling a little if you are able, or create a group yourself. Easy peasy. Many people swear by the meet up app for finding people with similar interests.

In fact, why not just look at all the activities in your local area? The local council will have a list of all clubs and societies you can join. But one would imagine that since you have loads of friends, you would be getting out there enough anyway, in order to meet plenty of women? What do you think is the problem?….

I know what is available in Wrexham for those who are classed as “high functioning” along with being an adult. I.e. nothing. I actually work for a local autism charity, who are one of the few active, possibly only one, in the county who specialise in Autism. There is very little for adults in my area on the spectrum full stop, especially those who are fortunate enough to be “high-functioning” when it comes to expressing themselves.

I don’t particularly struggle with nuances as much as some people who aren’t on the spectrum in certain scenarios. I have plenty of mates in the “real world” who are male and female, none of whom are on the spectrum. I am actually known for being very perceptive along with self-awareness. 

Regarding more autistic friends, I don’t play computer games or are interested in Disney, Anime, Manga et al. I have varied interests that an awful lot of non-autistic would have. See my profile.

i have read the reviews for Hiki from past posts in this site and they are awful. I was also on an Autistic Dating site two years but there was literally no one within my area (North East Wales, Chester, Wirral). 

This isn’t a pick up joint. There will be meet-ups in your area with other ND’s if you search hard enough, and you might well meet someone there. There are also a few dating apps that you could try. You might make more ND friends, leading to meeting other people….who knows? Hiki, and Autistic Empathy.

If you struggle at all with nuances and reading characters and realising what isn’t being said, I would avoid typical dating apps.

Hi

Yiu might get banned. Rules say it's not dating site.

Btw I've got similar problem, but I decided to put in hibernation for now

Or as far as away as the Wirral as well.