hello

Sorry, I wrote a long reply and had forgotten to log in.  Anyway, just keep trying to stay busy.  Find something you can enjoy.  And good luck with everything.

No i wasnt to active before but im going out more and if i need to go to the shops or into town i walk now insted of getting a taxi. i can tell that made a difference because staying indoors all the time felt like i was a prisoner and that started to get me down.so there is no offense it what your saying by just getting out more has changed me quite a bit

I am so glad that things are starting to make sense and that you hae family support.  For us it is just me, my three and eight year old.  My family disowned me years ago, but I can cope without them.  

Just out of interest, do you keep yourself active (not trying to pry), my daughter has to run and run.  We recently started going to our local track which is free.  She can run over 2000 metres, she has to stay active otherwise she is like a caged monster.  I am not certain but I think that excecise helps to keep serratonin up as well.  (please don't misunderstand this, I am not saying you are not active, nor that you are a caged monster!), just looking for anything my daughter uses that may offer some help.

You are welcome to talk to us here anytime.

CJ115 there was a big change when i found out. I can understand what you mean when i found out that i was in the Autistic spectrum things started to make sense and started to feel like things were postive when before they negitive. The tablets im on are for raising serratonin levels if it is low it causes depression. I been lucky i think because ive told the people i know and my family and they all been understanding. I also agree i dont think shuting myself away from other people helped so im realy trying to start talking more often.   

I was very saddened to read your story, but the important thing to remember here is that you now know why things have been so difficult.

You said you were in your twenties, well you still have the rest of your life to live, you just need to find your own way of doing it.  

I am not autistic, but have just spent the last two years proving that my daughter (8) is.  My husband and his mum didn't believe me, or I think want to believe due to the stigma that used to be there.  Unfortunately they both passed away, mum in 2014 and husband in May this year.  This has been a difficult adjustment for my daughter, and becuase she has been undergoing tests for autism, wasn't viable for mental health support, although with two hugely important berievements in her short life, could have done with it.

I only received confirmation a few days ago, and I have already noted a change in both of us.  I am not so hard on her, and it is as though there has been massive pressure released from her, (do you feel a release of pressure - there is  an explanation now?).  She seems to understand that she is different, but that it is ok, there is a reason.  And you need to believe that too.  

Nowadays there is so much help surrounding Autism and nothing like the stigma. The guys above said it, talking about your issues with people who understand (without any prejudice or pre-conceived ideas) really does help.

I have spoken to a couple of parents with autistic children, and we just connect, the behaviours that we see in the children are normal for us.  You need to connect with people your own age, or just with similar interests that you can talk to.

In regards to the Depression, I can help there, I am nearly 40 (gosh that sounds scary!), and have suffered with depression all of my life.  I have never taken pills and aim never too.  Get back to the doctors and ask for some thereapy.  My arguement with pills is this;  If I am depressed because of a berievement for example that in a few months will become easier, then maybe I might consider it (I haven't despite what has happened, it is just an analagy), but if you cannot change the circumstances (like being autistic, or for me reasons I don't even know why) I cannot change it, so no matter how long I am taking pills for, when I come off them, I will still be me, so what is the point, they will just make me feel bad whilst taking them.

Important - do not stop taking the pills, without GP advice first, you will need to be weened off.

Life is worth fighting for, even if it is hard, you just need to find you again to make it worthwhile.  

look afteryourself, and keep talking. (sorry if it was long)

the fact im talking on this site was big step for me i cant thank you guys enough for the welcome

lostmyway said:

Hi PGK.

You know, I think (not that I have any special qualifications) that simply being able to get something 'down on paper' or talking to someone sort of 'purges' (if that's the right word) some of the crap that builds up in our mind and gives us a bit of relief, if only temporary.

So, keep talking to us and see if my theory really works.

It's a very sound theory.  It's certainly helped me.

We can feel inhibited about talking, because we don't think people will understand.

People on here will understand, though.  You're with your own kind here.

Hi PGK.

You know, I think (not that I have any special qualifications) that simply being able to get something 'down on paper' or talking to someone sort of 'purges' (if that's the right word) some of the crap that builds up in our mind and gives us a bit of relief, if only temporary.

So, keep talking to us and see if my theory really works.

Thanks Tom for the reply it is difficult for me talk to people but i feel like it is something i need to do. What you said makes sense and it helps to hear it from someone else. The tablets are for depression And that is what lead to me finding out that i had ASD.  

Hi Gary - and welcome to the community!

Autism is very often inherited, so I wonder if someone in your immediate family is autistic without realising it.  I had my diagnosis last year, aged 56, and it was only at that time that my mother started to talk to me about her own issues and problems she'd faced throughout her life, which she put down to 'lack of self-esteem and shyness.'  Just thought it was worth mentioning.  Some people are reluctant to talk about such things for fear of stigmatisation or being misunderstood.

Have you been on anti-depressants for long?  I'm presuming your use of them pre-dates your diagnosis.  I suffered from depression for many years preceding my diagnosis, and it seems that my autism was the underlying cause of it: my inability to 'fit in', to make friends, to understand the social cues and codes that neurotypical people take for granted.  If the a-ds are helping you, then that's good.  They're mostly prescribed, though, to correct chemical imbalances in the brain, whereas autism isn't to do with chemistry.  It's our hardwiring.  Therefore, a-ds work to bring our brains into line with templates that autistic people don't have in the first place.  I was on them for years, but stopped taking them once I had the diagnosis.  I'm not suggesting you should do this, though, without discussing things first with your GP.  Like I said - if they're helping you, then that's what matters.

I like to use the analogy that people like me (autism is reckoned to affect 1 in every 100 people) are like a cat in a room full of dogs.  I'm in a minority, so I tend to do what all minorities do when they want to get on with those around them.  I try to emulate canine behaviour.  I chase after a stick occasionally.  I demand constant attention.  But I'm a cat, so this behaviour doesn't come naturally to me.  Meanwhile, all of those dogs are looking at me and not seeing a cat at all: they're seeing a highly dysfunctional dog!  Does that make sense to you?  That's how it is for us, in a nutshell.  There's nothing wrong with us, despite what others may say.  We're just different.  We think differently, and act differently.  We miss things that neurotypical people 'get' instinctively.  We have to learn them, and adapt to them.  The bottom line, though, is that we're still human.

Anyway... that's all I'll say for now.  Take a good look around at some of the threads - especially in the 'Health and Wellbeing' section.  You'll find many stories that you will be able to identify with... and many kindred spirits.  You're not alone in this!

See you around.

Best wishes,

Tom