hello

Hi Gary - and welcome to the community!

Autism is very often inherited, so I wonder if someone in your immediate family is autistic without realising it.  I had my diagnosis last year, aged 56, and it was only at that time that my mother started to talk to me about her own issues and problems she'd faced throughout her life, which she put down to 'lack of self-esteem and shyness.'  Just thought it was worth mentioning.  Some people are reluctant to talk about such things for fear of stigmatisation or being misunderstood.

Have you been on anti-depressants for long?  I'm presuming your use of them pre-dates your diagnosis.  I suffered from depression for many years preceding my diagnosis, and it seems that my autism was the underlying cause of it: my inability to 'fit in', to make friends, to understand the social cues and codes that neurotypical people take for granted.  If the a-ds are helping you, then that's good.  They're mostly prescribed, though, to correct chemical imbalances in the brain, whereas autism isn't to do with chemistry.  It's our hardwiring.  Therefore, a-ds work to bring our brains into line with templates that autistic people don't have in the first place.  I was on them for years, but stopped taking them once I had the diagnosis.  I'm not suggesting you should do this, though, without discussing things first with your GP.  Like I said - if they're helping you, then that's what matters.

I like to use the analogy that people like me (autism is reckoned to affect 1 in every 100 people) are like a cat in a room full of dogs.  I'm in a minority, so I tend to do what all minorities do when they want to get on with those around them.  I try to emulate canine behaviour.  I chase after a stick occasionally.  I demand constant attention.  But I'm a cat, so this behaviour doesn't come naturally to me.  Meanwhile, all of those dogs are looking at me and not seeing a cat at all: they're seeing a highly dysfunctional dog!  Does that make sense to you?  That's how it is for us, in a nutshell.  There's nothing wrong with us, despite what others may say.  We're just different.  We think differently, and act differently.  We miss things that neurotypical people 'get' instinctively.  We have to learn them, and adapt to them.  The bottom line, though, is that we're still human.

Anyway... that's all I'll say for now.  Take a good look around at some of the threads - especially in the 'Health and Wellbeing' section.  You'll find many stories that you will be able to identify with... and many kindred spirits.  You're not alone in this!

See you around.

Best wishes,

Tom

Hi Gary - and welcome to the community!

Autism is very often inherited, so I wonder if someone in your immediate family is autistic without realising it.  I had my diagnosis last year, aged 56, and it was only at that time that my mother started to talk to me about her own issues and problems she'd faced throughout her life, which she put down to 'lack of self-esteem and shyness.'  Just thought it was worth mentioning.  Some people are reluctant to talk about such things for fear of stigmatisation or being misunderstood.

Have you been on anti-depressants for long?  I'm presuming your use of them pre-dates your diagnosis.  I suffered from depression for many years preceding my diagnosis, and it seems that my autism was the underlying cause of it: my inability to 'fit in', to make friends, to understand the social cues and codes that neurotypical people take for granted.  If the a-ds are helping you, then that's good.  They're mostly prescribed, though, to correct chemical imbalances in the brain, whereas autism isn't to do with chemistry.  It's our hardwiring.  Therefore, a-ds work to bring our brains into line with templates that autistic people don't have in the first place.  I was on them for years, but stopped taking them once I had the diagnosis.  I'm not suggesting you should do this, though, without discussing things first with your GP.  Like I said - if they're helping you, then that's what matters.

I like to use the analogy that people like me (autism is reckoned to affect 1 in every 100 people) are like a cat in a room full of dogs.  I'm in a minority, so I tend to do what all minorities do when they want to get on with those around them.  I try to emulate canine behaviour.  I chase after a stick occasionally.  I demand constant attention.  But I'm a cat, so this behaviour doesn't come naturally to me.  Meanwhile, all of those dogs are looking at me and not seeing a cat at all: they're seeing a highly dysfunctional dog!  Does that make sense to you?  That's how it is for us, in a nutshell.  There's nothing wrong with us, despite what others may say.  We're just different.  We think differently, and act differently.  We miss things that neurotypical people 'get' instinctively.  We have to learn them, and adapt to them.  The bottom line, though, is that we're still human.

Anyway... that's all I'll say for now.  Take a good look around at some of the threads - especially in the 'Health and Wellbeing' section.  You'll find many stories that you will be able to identify with... and many kindred spirits.  You're not alone in this!

See you around.

Best wishes,

Tom