Aspergers gift or curse !

Hi Neo,

i used to think I was a failure at life and flawed because I struggled so much and could never 'succeed' in the conventional sense: great career, fabulous spouse, big house, lots of money, etc. 

but somewhere along the way I realised that having all that was not what I really wanted anyway, despite the pressure and expectations of everyone around me. What I wanted was to feel happy, or if that wasn't possible then at least to feel content with my life. So I found a couple of things that I feel passionate about and made sure they are always part of my life. And I didn't give up trying, even when faced with struggles or other people's negative comments.

It hasn't been easy but I am now proud that I made that decision and embrace who I am (flaws and all). I don't see Aspergers as a curse or a gift, it just helps explain who I am.

I hope hearing other people's stories has helped.

Hi Neo,

I'm sorry to hear that you are finding life difficult at the moment. I realise from your post that you find it difficult to speak with your doctor but maybe seeing another doctor who understands your condition may be helpful for you? If you are feeling you need support then please don't hesitate to contact our helpline http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/autism-helpline/how-to-contact-us.aspx We also have a Welfare Rights Service that you can contact to help you with support regarding benefits http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/welfare-rights-service/contact-the-welfare-rights-service.aspx In the meantime, if you are feeling suicidal then don't hesitate to got to A&E. The Samaritans can also provide support through their helpline http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us I hope that this helps you in some way but if not please contact us again so we can help you.

Gift - while technically still waiting on diagnosis, very few bad things have happened to me - Ok, school has been pretty difficult and it's incredibly difficult to make friends, but I've also turned my interest into a career path and, I like to think, improved other people's lives with it. Some other traits have actually been useful in doing this!

Hi again  thank you for reply my condition has always giving me problems in all aspects of my life and continues i have had my p i p turned down now waiting for my second appeal to come through and i have had no money coming in since dec last year i find it very difficult to explain myself family and  doctors i feel like giving up on life really 

Neither.

Aspergers or not, life will always be filled with problems that will upset, confuse and constantly derail you.

Aspects of my Aspergers naturally make me better at certain things. They also make me worse at others. At times its far easier to notice when things go wrong, and hard to see when there's something positive to reflect on instead, especially with OCD coping strategies (I struggle occassionally with OCD, anxiety, hypersensitivity and panic attacks).

I was diagonsed just a few months before my 18th birthday. Therapy was discontinued a month after my diagnosis, and all the 'advice' I was given was aimed at children with ASD aged 2-13. Things got bad, I developed alopecia (hair loss) which only made things worse. I've also had ongoing family issues with my father (parents divorced) who constantly put me down and made me feel worthless.

Then I went to university.

I realised that everyone around me suffered differently from the same situation, especially on the very first day. When everyone panicked and didn't know what to do, I stood up and spoke my mind without 'censoring' myself as I'd been told I'd have to do my whole life. Turns out people like me for being myself.

Its not about your condition, its about your approach to life. I've met people who've told me of the horrible things they've had to suffer through, all of them 'normal'. Just because they don't have a diagnosis of anything, doesn't mean their lives are better, just different.

Their struggles are different to our struggles. By learning to compromise with others to work together, everyone can benefit.

I ended up making several extremely close friends who I adore. I did things I never would have for them (even venture to places I'd never been via public transport alone to pick up one that was lost and scared, a situation I'd normally have a panic attack in).

They brought out the best in me, and I helped bring out the best in them. I kept everyone organised, motivated and safe, they encouraged me to relax, have fun and trust others.

You can't 'blame' the Aspergers. Its been a part of you your whole life, demonising it won't get you anywhere, instead use your diagnosis as a tool to get you where you need to be.

Three years ago, I couldn't venture further than the high street I'd taken over five years learning the route to. Now, I'm planning a trip around the Northern Hemisphere (I'm not a big fan of hot weather) as soon as I get the funds together. If you feel you've made a mistake, don't dwell, use it to get better.

Something that became my motto at Uni: 'Well, now I know how NOT to do a thing!'

I'm grateful for my diagnosis because while it initially felt like a curse, I've used it to learn more about myself. I'm not perfect, because there's no such thing as perfection, but I'm happy. In the end, that's enough.

My Asperger's is a curse, but I have a strong personality and I am motivated to overcome a lot of the issues I face. Therefore I do not see Asperger's as inevitably leading to doom and gloom, but a problem/curse that I need to tackle. It is a curse, though, because it has prevented me from fully experiencing life including social connectedness and genuine friendship, which I do feel I am missing out on. I do, finally, have a good friend who also has Asperger's, but it has taken me all of my 28 years to get to this point, and while I would  like to work and have a relationship and children, it is unlikely that I will achieve most of these basic desires. I think getting a decent job is a possibility and one I am working towards, but I am having to accept that having a relationship and children probably won't happen, at least not for a very long time, by which point I won't be able to have kids! I have reconciled myself to this prospect now, I don't really have a choice, but if I did not have Asperger's life would certainly be a lot easier. But I try and accept that I have a condition tyhat won't go away, but that I can use my strengths to try and work on my issues and learn new skills. Realistic acceptance has been my strategy for dealing with my condition.

Hi Jason my name is Rachel I'm 23 and I was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome when I was 21 I c it as a gift because all my life I felt different since being diagnosed things have made sense. As a person I have grown I made some great friends I have a great boyfriend who isn't on the spectrum. I no do disability awareness where I go around schools and talk about disabilty and about what I've got. I am hoping to start a befriending project where I be helping people with autism come out of their shell a bit more. that's my story and autism isn't a scary thing