Daughter in her early twenties

I'm glad I could help. Looking at what you said, I can't really tell any more than you what the problem may have been. If she'll let you I'd suggest that you talk to her about it, get her point of view and tell her yours. That was never an option with me and my father as I'd have a panic attack just at the thought of being so close to him, but it doesn't sound from what you're saying as though your daughter's scared of you.

Your honesty was helpful, thank you. It has given me some insight into how things may have deteriorated here. Sorry to hear that you are also not close to your mum and dad.

 My daughter was diagnosed as aspergers under 10 years old. under 16, my daughter was bullied at school and her only friends were the daughters of my friends, but her home life was happy. She left school at 16 and went on to 6 th form college where she made friends for the first time. Unfortunately none of them passed their AS exams so she was more isolated in Y 13. At this time, she had a boyfriend whom she met through the Internet and moved in with him after a couple of weeks. It is about then that communication became difficult and has remained so ever since. She feels that she no longer needs help and advice and is an adult, I feel we could still help her. money is a particular problem. She feels we don't give her enough to live on at uni, we think she has unrealistic expectations and that she has enough. She accuses us of not listening to her. 

Things are at a stalemate. She has told me that I have lost all rights to be part of her life. That hurts. 

Not sure what to do now.

Hi JR your posts are rather blunt and short, has your daughter being diagnosed?

What can you say about her childhood? What has made you feel this way? The more information you can share and the light you can shed on things, the more likely you'll get advise off someone that can empithis with you. A bit more back ground, examples??

I do, or some of them, anyway. My father turned against me when I was 15, having already turned against my mum several years previously. To cut a very long story short, after many, many years of my mum trying to make the marriage work and me hiding away from him he's finally moved out.

I love my mum dearly, but she was the sort of parent who would lie to me to get me to do what she wanted, and as a result I now don't trust her as far as I could throw her, which makes me really sad. She has also time and time again broken the promise not to move things in my room without asking, and got away with it every time due to my hatred of conflict, which meant I was easily soothed every time I tried to confront her. Thankfully she's finally stopped doing it, but sadly she's moved onto breaking other promises. I really wish I could trust her, but I don't at all. I'm wondering what else she's lying to me about or hasn't told me.

I think it's because of this that at the end of a college day, I feel like I'm leaving my family rather than going home to it. One parent has made it quite clear he's never wanted me, the other has shattered my trust like a glass ornament. I'm incredibly close to my sister, but she's at university most of the time, and she's got her own life to get on with so she doesn't really need me dragging her down.

Can you think of anything that may have triggered the way your daughter feels? How close were you before then? Of course, she may not even know herself what it was. I often find I have to examine my life closely to understand why I think and behave the way I do.

Not sure how to start. My daughter , since Y13 has not felt part of our family. I no longer know how to communicate with her. We do not understand each other. Do you talk to your family)

I'm doing a Level 3 Diploma in Animal care, having done Level 2 last year. This is a two year course, but I don't know yet if I'm doing the second year. I'll have to be sure it's the right thing for me.

I actually began a Psychology A level, but only did AS. It's very interesting, and it's proven useful in my animal courses!

Thanks for replying so promptly. What course are you studying? My daughter is doing psychology and is in her second year.

Hi, I'm not a parent but I am a 20 year old female at college, so I may be able to help. Welcome to the forum. :)